My Own Worst Enemy: A Sunday Scribble One Day Early

Nemesis

An opponent that cannot be beaten or overcome:
Nemesis.
Who is my
Nemesis?
It seems clear to me that I am my own
Nemesis.
Why am I my
Nemesis?
The answer to that is yet to me another
Nemesis.
I could kill two oppositional birds with one stone, if I could answer the question of why I am my
Nemesis.
At least then, of the enemies within me, free I would be of my
Nemeses.


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I laughed when I saw that this week's word for the Sunday Scribblings: Nemesis. Somewhere along the way, my six-year old daughter picked up the term arch-nemesis and has used it quite liberally to describe anyone or thing who impedes any impulse she has.

Although I am confident of the usage of the word, I looked up the definition just to make sure that there was not some nuance I was missing. Of the multiple explanations, the following caught my eye: something that a person cannot conquer, achieve, etc. I immediately thought of who my own worst enemy often is: myself. My continued struggles with my parenting, my identity, my weight. I've thought about these issues and struggled with the answers to why these particular problems plague me. Some part of the answer seems attainable but never in a completely satisfactory way.

Hopefully, in spite of the feeling that I will never conquer my inner critic, this examination of myself as an unbeatable foe is merely an exercise in writing and self-examination--not an irrefutable fact.

Until tomorrow,

Mary

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