Wednesday, November 15, 2006

A Brief History of Time

In which no one in this scenario is right or wrong. It is just a matter of preference.

However. . .

Paul and I have one car. This usually works because he is either out of town or working at his office in the bonus room. Occasionally, he has to go somewhere work-related and we have to sort out whether or not to borrow a car for the day from his folks.

Our conversation this morning:

M: What time do you have to be gone today?

P: I thought I'd leave around 10:30 this morning. Do you have to be anywhere today other than picking up the kids?

M: No, not really. I need to go to the grocery store but that can wait until later. Marley gets out at 1:15 today so maybe the folks can just pick her up. Colin is okay to walk home. What time do you think you'll be back?

P: Mid to late afternoon.

Here is what else you need to know:

While a generalist by nature, when it comes to marriage and timeframes, I like things to be a little more precise. Especially when it comes to Paul letting me know when he will be home. Paul tends to talk in terms like above: morning, afternoon, evening, etc. I like to know the numbers. The numbers people! This became one of our standard issues a few years ago.

It always go something like this:

(Conversation continues)

M: But what TIME is that?

P: What time do you think it is?

M: I don't know. You tell me.

P: Okay. Mid to late afternoon is 3:00 to 5:00. What's mid to late afternoon to you?

M: I don't know, say, 1:30 to 4:00.

(Now, these are just random times I have pulled out of my head. The main criteria here is that they NOT be 3:00 - 5:00.)

P: 1:30 is early afternoon.

M: Whatever. I just want the numbers! Tell me numbers!

An hour or so later, I received this email:

Here's info for reference that might help:

Day - 7am to 7pm
Morning - 5am to noon
Mid morning - 10am to 11:15am
Late morning - 11am to 11:59am
Mid day - 11:30am to 1pm
Afternoon - 12:01pm to 5:59pm
Early afternoon - noon to 2pm
Mid afternoon - 2pm to 3:30
Late afternoon - 3pm to 5:45pm
Evening - 5:45pm to 8pm
Dinner time - 5pm to 7:30pm
Night - 8pm to 4:59am
Middle of night - 1am to 4am

Note that these can also be combined. For example, if you say mid to late afternoon, it implies uncertainty which can be calculated as 2pm to 5:45 pm.

My response: Arghhhh! I don't want to memorize a chart. I want him to tell me the numbers when I ask him a timeframe.

Why do I think that when we are in our 80's, we are going to have a conversation like this:

P: My brother is coming over to play guitar today.

(Yes, he and his brother will no doubt still be playing guitar in their 80s.)

M: How long will he be here?

P: Probably from mid to late afternoon.

M: But what TIME is that?

P: What time do you think it is?

M: I don't know. You tell me.

P: Okay. Mid to late afternoon is 3:00 to 5:00. What's mid to late afternoon to you?

M: I don't know, say, 1:30 to 4:00.

P: 1:30 is early afternoon.

M: Whatever. I just want the numbers! Tell me numbers!

An hour after that conversation, I will probably receive an incoming message into the internet chip in my brain which will read something like this:

Here's info for reference that might help:

Day - 7am to 7pm
Morning - 5am to noon
Mid morning - 10am to 11:15am
Late morning - 11am to 11:59am
Mid day - 11:30am to 1pm
Afternoon - 12:01pm to 5:59pm
Early afternoon - noon to 2pm
Mid afternoon - 2pm to 3:30
Late afternoon - 3pm to 5:45pm
Evening - 5:45pm to 8pm
Dinner time - 5pm to 7:30pm
Night - 8pm to 4:59am
Middle of night - 1am to 4am

Note that these can also be combined. For example, if you say mid to late afternoon, it implies uncertainty which can be calculated as 2pm to 5:45 pm.

Shoot me now, people. Shoot me now.

(Special thanks to Paul for inspiring this post this morning. Without that email, I would still be wondering what I was going to write today.)

Until tomorrow,

Mary




15 down, 15 to go





Hurrah! The half-way point. Only 15 more posts... to... go... Oh wait. Why am I cheering. 15 more posts to go? Yikes!

10 comments:

Terri B. said...

If I bothered to ask, I'd probably get an answer like, "I'll be home when I get home." I would of course reciprocate with, "I might be here when you get home, or I might not."

I'm sure this kind of thinking follows some line of philosophical thought, but I wouldn't know what it is.

Anonymous said...

Oh, hahaha! Gotta love a smart-ass.

I'm feeling your pain about 15 more posts. I'm just not that deep. I worry that if I post every day this month I will run out of things to talk about and will therefore have to stop blogging.

Becky said...

Ah... communication. Gotta love it when there are two different languages.

I try not to be the person who gives "rough estimates", but rather solid numbers. And we have only one vehicle, too, so I feel your pain. :) Coordination is key.

Anonymous said...

BWAHAHAHAHA!

My husband absolutely positively cannot be relied upon to commit to any schedule at all whatsoever, even a smartass one. When pressed for his "plans" or "schedule" or "timeframe" he acts like a Frenchman who has been asked if there is any American cheese and beer on tap instead.

"Pffft," he sneers, "I speet on timeframes."

He won't wear a watch, keep a calendar, and alarmingly and amazingly *never* *ever* remembers any plans or events.

I have theorized in the past---when feeling generous---that this was a last adolescent grasp at independence, his male need to be Free! When not generous I think it is just being a jerk.

Of course that is but one facet of his character, but my, it is a large and shiny one I must say. Sneeringly.

I speet on lack of timeframes.

Pieces said...

Funny!

Anonymous said...

Hilarious! Goodness these guys drive us crazy, don't they?!

J-Dawg's Realm said...

I love this post! I have referenced it in my TT13 for this week. I hope you dont mind :)

J-Dawg

http://jdawgs-realm.blogspot.com/

sunshine scribe said...

Great post!

I so get this. We have one car too and the same circular time arguements regularly.

Sorry I haven't been keeping up with the daily posts. I've been reading them all just overwhlemed with the blogosphere's volume this month that I end up only commenting once or twice a week. Good for you for showing such stamina and still producing such awesome posts!

Anonymous said...

Ah. There is nothing I find more interesting than the dynamics of marriage. Especially when both parties have such interesting contributions!

MarillaAnne said...

LOL ROTF Yes!