Procrastination: Periadolescence and Stereo Projects

I have LOTS of grading to do:

All those piles aren't ALL grading. Some of the papers are graded papers to return, copies of handouts, and administrative papers. Those books are copies of the selections for my class book club. I am still missing two books, so I will post pics of those later. If you look closely, you can see a small, white bottle of ibuprofen at the far end of the table.

I think ibuprofen should come with a teacher discount.

&&&&&&&&&&&&

My daughter is almost 11 and 1/2 years old. Things are happening to her body. THOSE things. Along with THOSE things come the moodiness, fits of temper, and the prerequisite acquisition of knowledge superior to adults in each and every way. Might I call it periadolescence? Between HER hormones and mine, I am pretty much aggravated at her every waking moment.

I have little reminders, though, of the actual PERSON she is in the midst of all of this. I bought some mini pumpkins the other day for her to decorate. This is what we have scattered around our living room right now:

 Harry Potter pumpkin

 Traditional Jack-O-Lanterns

 I think this is a girl pumpkin.

 Angry pumpkin. Grrrrr!

Another girl pumpkin. Apparently the long bang, swept to the side is popular right now.

When I see these, strategically placed around our living room and entry way, I remember that underneath all that pre-adolescent angst and know-it-all-ness is my crafty, hands-on, creative girl.

She thought very carefully about WHERE to put each pumpkin. "Which one goes with a horse, Mom?" Here are the results of her contemplations:

Please note blue plaid curtains from Target. The folks at Wrath of Mom are quite fond of them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My husband has worked on a few projects around the house lately. The results of which mean I can listen to music on two different systems in the living room or one in the dining room--RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER from the living room.

System One: Please note directions. This isn't my husband being overly picky. They are necessary so that I am able to listen to music when I want and so that I do not blow up the precious amps.

 

 System Two: Good for listening to music and for listening to the television. Please pardon the blurry picture. It is what it is. The truly spectacular part of this system is the volume control. Done with the device pictured below:

 

Even more special is that it is connected to Sound System Two via this lovely cable: 

 

And now, System Three:

   This system features an extra fancy "Now Playing" indicator:

Extra fancy tech. That's how we roll in the LUE household.

*************************************

Well, that was truly a decent amount of time spent procrastinating. Mission accomplished!

Time Suckers

So the whole point of this self-binding experiment was to reclaim some space in my life, right?

With my project push on, it is important that I take that time to focus on my writing, right?

Well, not if I listen to my husband, who encouraged me to upgrade to Windows 7.

Why, why, why?

I know these things never go as quickly or smoothly as you want them to. I KNOW that. However, because I am currently able to get a special student deal (Windows 7 Home Premium for $29.99), I decided to go ahead. My computer has been having these little hiccups for awhile now so I've been hoping the upgrade would take care of these persistent problems. The jury is still out on that. However, the jury is not still out on finding myself guilty of software-installing naivete and misguided persistence in the face of overwhelming odds.

12 hours. By the time it was all said and done, attempting to install the update, finding fixes for my Toshiba issues, realizing my computer wasn't responding well to those issues, performing a clean install, reinstalling Office 2007... what a nightmare.

AND...

in the middle of all that, I had to take my son for his senior pictures... my son who HATES getting his picture taken.

Grrr...

So... I ended up actually being online to look for fixes and stuff... but I DID stay away from Facebook and Twitter. It was tempting to whine and vent but I refrained... until here and now!

I am so frustrated that my good intentions to get one or two sections of my literature review written got sucked into the Software Time Wasters Universe. There were several points in the day when I think I should have told myself to STOP! and work on the computer later. But I didn't.

Looking at the brighter side of my disastrous day, my computer is ready to go. Today I have some obligations in the evening but I have ALL day to get back to work. Developmental Education and the Millennial Generation, here I come.

I have sober briquette to thank for this...

In my 28th NaBloPoMo post, I made a comment about not being able to do anything for 30 days that I really needed to do, but I could get NaBloPoMo accomplished.

Sober briquette commented on that commented by saying that, "...now you know that if you made the commitment to exercise every day, you could do it."

Gee thanks!  Now I keep thinking about that and feeling like I should do something about it.  Of course, what better way to hold myself accountable than by announcing it on this blog.  (Shhh... I know I have announced good intentions in the past.  Shhh!)  Taking NaBloPoMo as my inspiration, I am creating my one woman challenge: December Exercise Daily Month or DeEDMo.  I had to add that extra 'e' or else it would day DEDMo and I didn't like the sound of that!

My commitment is very low key.  I will do some form of exercise every day in December.  It might be my AM/PM stretch DVD or a quick walk around the block.  I may get inspired and go for a really long walk.  Somehow though, something will get done.  Hopefully I will see enough benefit to see me to January when I will hopefully begin a proper exercise program.  I have a hard time seeing myself being successful at school next semester if I am not feeling more energetic.

So, DeEDMo is a challenge for myself.  I am not making badges, buttons, or dohickies of any sort. If someone wanted to join me that would be great.  I love company.  Either way, I will post my daily bit.  The side bar is kind of full right now, so I will probably just do a quick post on days I am not already posting.  

I've already done today's exercise (and I did exercise yesterday).  Here is my official tally:

December 1, AM Stretch workout (25 minutes)

December 2, AM Stretch workout (25 minutes)

Wish me luck!

Thanksgiving Hangover

I would love to write a list of all the things I am thankful for today, but it wouldn't be heartfelt--or should I say headfelt.  I've got a little bit of headache left over from yesterday's migraine.  An enjoyable, yet longish, day of Thanksgiving family visiting has left me on the couch and watching TV with Paul.   I have lots to be grateful for, truly, but it is like trying to drive with fogged up windows.  You know the road is there, but you can't see it!

I did get in a little more birthday celebrating today.  One SIL and BIL gave me a gift certificate to Barnes and Noble (Yeah!) and my other SIL brought me a DVD of Terry Jones' Medieval Lives.  It is pretty fun.  He spends each episode focusing on one type of person and then using a mix of characters, animations and straightforward historical documentary narration, he tells the story of the lives of women, peasants, monks, etc.  He makes history very engaging and makes a point of bringing to light misperceptions of the time.

Marley is doing much better today.  Right about the same time my migraine kicked in, she perked up.  Her fever, although still present, started going down and she started bouncing around.  I had planned on taking her to the after hours medical office but it seemed clear she was on the road to recovery.  I always feel bad for Marley and Colin on holidays because there are usually no other kids.  She was invited to spend a night at a friend's and so she is getting to socialize and Paul, Colin and I are getting a very peaceful, bounce-free, screech-free evening!

Tomorrow we will all (the Teenager included) head out to a friend's house to visit for the day. They live about an hour away and we plan on hanging out all day and into the evening.  This family used to live two blocks away and I was very, very sad when they moved.  It will be nice to get away, leave the books behind and visit with good friends.

Well, I guess that is it for now.  Terry Jones is talking about the lives of medieval minstrals. Can't miss that!

27 down, 3 to go

A Decision Has Been Made: Spring Semester

As you know, I've been dithering about my schedule next semester.  I received some good opinions on both sides of the heavy load vs. really heavy load.  As I sat and let it all stew simmer, I could not get these thoughts out of my mind:

The picture of being free for the last few weeks of Marley's time in the K-3 multiage class.  She has been in this amazing environment for the last few years and I want to be there for the Lasts.  The last campout, the last field trip, the last author's tea.  If I am taking a research and methodology class in summer school, I won't be able to be there--not if I want to pass the class.

I waste more hours on any given day than there are in a day.  I know there is time in my life for this.  I've estimated that taking the extra class, along with doing the internship will be like taking 12 units of school.  Most of my friends in the program are working full time and taking six units. This is not climbing Mt. Everest.  It is more like having a full time job.  People do that every day and it is only for 16 weeks.  

Finally, I look to the summer and consider having 9-10 weeks off in between graduation and (fingers crossed) starting my teaching career as opposed to having 3-4 weeks off.

You see where this is going, don't you?  I am going to take the extra class.  I'm going to have to really look ahead to see what I can get accomplished over the winter break, including beginninga consistent exercise program.  It will take discipline. I made the decision yesterday after spending some time on the phone with a friend.  She knows me.  She knows my limitations.  That discussion was the little nudge that pushed me in the direction I had been leaning.

I can do this--for 16 weeks.  Just 16 weeks.

20 down, 10 to go

The Readers Have Spoken...

(edited to include a post link)

...but I still haven't made up my mind.

The poll results were pretty much split down the middle, so I guess at least that is validation that this isn't an easy decision to make.

While I was waiting to meet with my grad advisor, I ended up speaking with a professor who is going to be on my project committee.  She suggested taking the research class and using the key project for that class, a lit review, as my review for the project.

Then I met with my advisor who said that the type of review in that class isn't the type of review I need for my project and that the timing might not work.  The research class paper is due toward the end of the semester, but the lit review of my project will be due my mid-March.

See, even my professors can't agree!

I did talk more with professor number one and she did have a good idea for me for my tutoring class.  Instead of working with the wee ones (elementary), I can do an independent study version at a community college.  This would be in addition to the internship I am doing, but it would be more experience AND a professional reference.  The reference is important because I need four references to graduate, two professorial and two professional.  Because I don't currently work in the field, I am a little stymied in that area.  This will fulfill multiple obligations for me.

Thinking about doing work on two different community college campuses (it can't be at the same one) and writing my project has me reconsidering the extra class.  Professor One--who I tell you is so full of insight and behind-the-scenes information--told me she can get me into a cohort with the reading department.  A cohort is a group of teachers who are all going through the program together off site.  The class would be online, but it would be all reading students and taught by a teacher who works well with the reading department.  I think that might be nice.

Thank you all for your input.  It isn't possible to work ahead in the research class, but if I work ahead on the project during the winter break, it would make taking the extra class more possible.  I do need to balance how the family will be affected and not just my own desire to finish.  If I wait, it will only make seven weeks difference.  One week in between the end of the semester and the start of summer school and then six weeks of summer school.  I will finish the first week of July and still have about five weeks off before work begins.  

So, at this point, I haven't officially decided but am not going to register for the class right now. If Professor One can get me into a cohort for the spring AND I make some good progress on my project in the meantime, maybe I will take the class.  By delaying, I'll have a better feel for how I am feeling physically, etc.

I was going to talk about other stuff today, but felt like I should follow up with the school thing.  I've been having some insomnia, which is a common occurrence during a certain time of the month.  I also have insomnia when there is anything on my mind.  This past week, the disharmonic convergence of both hormones and issues has kept me up some nights.  In the middle of the night, when I am tossing and turning, I am brilliantly eloquent and can think of all sorts of wonderful ways to communicate what I am thinking and feeling.  In the morning?  Not so much.

Will I ever end up writing about it?  I don't know.  I think I am feeling uncomfortable with some of the "discussions" going on in the blog'verse these days.  With all the talk about California and Proposition 8, there has been some language used that I am saddened about.  People are talking about hate and being clever and passionate and emphatic and talking about love and then going on to say that people who voted for Proposition 8 are hateful, unfeeling, unthinking, illogical people.  It is frustrating for me.  Regardless of your position on the issue of same sex marriage and homosexuality, dialog is not encouraged by painting a portrait of so many people with just a few broad strokes.  It does not do credit to either side--at least not to me.  I can only speak for myself.

I did have one very positive experience at one blog friend's place.  I took a chance and stated my thoughts on the issue and she responded wonderfully.  Did I change her mind?  I doubt it.  I wasn't really trying to.  I just wanted to share a different perspective.  Thankfully, she listened, asked some questions and then listened some more.  To my friend: Thank you.  I can't tell you how wonderful that was. 

My insomnia, though, is linked to more than just political issues.  It is also linked to past situations, unresolved relationships.  What the past and politics has in common for me though is the feelings that come up.  I feel silenced--by my own fears and desire to avoid conflict, by the knowledge that sometimes speaking up is not the right thing to do, by my belief that sometimes it just won't do any good.

Can you believe that the personal part of all this is coming up because of Facebook? I keep getting these "You might know so-and-so" messages.  So-and-so's I have issues with.  So-and-so's I never got to have my say with.  I am also reading parts of conversations between people I know and the people they know.  Sometimes those wall-to-wall conversations talk about things that make me angry--or sad--or whatever.  These people are not doing anything wrong. Because of Facebook's open forum, I am eavesdropping in a way.  It has just made me realize how much I have just moved on without thoroughly processing.  There will never be perfect understanding and reconciliation, but I have a responsibility to myself to deal with my feelings. (Kind of sucks, but that's the way it is.)

On a more positive note, here is one man's blog project that I appreciate:

from52to48withlove 

Until tomorrow,

12 down, 18 to go

I Need Some Opinions

Originally, I was supposed to be taking 8 units this semester.  One class, a research and methodology class, was full and hard as I tried, I could not get in.  It is offered through the Elementary Education department and is a core class.  That department is much bigger than the Reading department, you can always get into a Reading department class.

After much wringing of hands and excessive talking about it, I decided that I would wait until summer school to take the class.  In the spring, I would be taking my Master's Project (the equivalent of a thesis but with a "product" instead of a research question), and doing an internship at the local community college along with a four unit internship.  Even with taking the class in summer school, I would be allowed to walk in the May '08 graduation ceremonies and, as long as I finish the class successfully, I could get hired for the Fall '09 semester.

It was all settled and decided in my mind... until last night.  After class, some of us were discussing what to take next semester.  The subject of the research class came up.  Everyone I know in the program took it in summer school.  Everyone I know hated the class.  It is a lot of reading and writing (research!) and deals with quantitative versus qualitative research, something about P values and N values and all sorts of stuff.  So... my original plan to take the class during a regular semester was to stretch out all the work over 15 weeks instead of doing it in 6 weeks.

So now... I  don't know, I'm wondering whether it is better to:

1. Take the class, carry 8 units, pay more money and have a pretty heavy load.  The Master's Project is 1 unit, but more than 1 unit worth of work.  I will be writing a literature review that will be anywhere from 15 to 50 pages long in addition to refining the project and finalizing all the details.  (Guess what?  The project involves blogging!!!!)  Added to the workload will be approximately 5 to 7 hours per week of an internship at the local communit college working in a reading development class.

OR,

2. Wait until summer school to take the class and just suffer through the six weeks of research and methodology hell.

Part of me is really liking the idea of just being done in May.  Completely done.  Finito.  Another part of me is thinking that I have been struggling with my work load this semester due to the reasons I've been moaning and groaning about for the last few months:  sleep issues, poor diet, no exercise, weight gain, yada, yada, yada.  

Will I be able to pull it together to manage the heavier workload?

HOWEVER, if I do manage it, I will be finished and not have to spend six weeks, from mid-May to July slaving over a computer, reading research studies until my eyes pop out and writing multiple papers.  I'll have from mid-May to August free of school to collapse, relax, hang out with the family, do cartwheels, whatever until it is time to start teaching for the fall semester.

What do you guys think?  I put a poll up in the sidebar.  It is just for today and part of tomorrow.  I meet with my grad advisor tomorrow and I think I will make my final decision after talking to her.  So, go vote in my poll and leave me some comments if you need to elaborate on what you think I should do and why.

Thanks!  The next few months of my family's life will be affected by the click of your mouse!

11 down, 19 to go

Six More Things

Mel over at Mel's Dream has tagged me for a meme.  

Here are the rules:

1. Link to the person who tagged you 
2. Post the rules on your blog 
3. Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself 
4. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs 
5. Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on his/her website

This might be a little tough since I just posted 100 things about me, but I'll go for some of the quirks that make me so unique.

1.  In the tradition of my grandmother, I am quite adept at picking things up with my toes.  I also can pinch people with my toes.  

2.  I tend to walk downstairs sideways.  Paul thinks this is pretty amusing.  I think it keeps me from pitching forward on the steps.  It's a survival strategy.

3.  My laugh is loud--very loud.  It is distinctive.  I once had two friends spend way more time than I thought necessary trying to spell the sound of my laugh.  

4.  I am claustrophobic.  When Marley was about three years old, she got stuck in one of the tubes at a local McDonald's play lands.  I could not go up the tube to get her.  I tried, but I did not succeed.  Enter my friend, about 7 months pregnant.  I sent her in to try--my pregnant friend.  Eventually an employee needed to come to help out.  I don't think that mothering instinct conquered that day.  Claustrophobia won.

5.  I am a little funny about the texture of foods.  I don't eat raisins or any food with a raisin-y texture.  I don't like canned or marinated fruit, fruit pies, candied fruit.  Blech, blech, blech.  Tapioca?  Can't do it.  Boba drinks?  Who drinks tapioca?  Quadruple blech.

6.  I have a blue mark on my right shoulder courtesy of my sister, who chose to stab me with a pencil when she was three.  Thanks sis.

Well, do you think I am too quirky?  

Now, let's see... who to tag... who to tag:

Jessi at Muthering Heights.  I love the name of her blog and her tagline: Muthering Heights and Other Senseless Sensibility.  It is awesome.  I'd love to know six habits/quirks about her.

Terri B at Tip of the Iceberg.  She's been somewhat absent from the 'verse for a while, but hopefully she'll be able to come out and play.

Mama2lilly at Michelle had a little LAM.  As if she doesn't have enough to do, parenting a toddler, working, and being pregnant with Baby #2... surely this won't take too much of her time.

EnnuiHerself at my secret ennui.  I love her outlook on life and would love to know more about this Science Gal.

Aliki of World of One Thousand Different Things.  I know about her life as a mother, daughter, granddaughter, teacher.  Let's find out what makes her quirky.

Meredith at Poppy Fields is living the expat life in Provence.  Maybe her six things might be habits of culture or language.

Thanks, Mel, for giving me something to post about on this, the 9th day of NaBloPoMo!

9 down, 21 to go

100 Things: An Update

This may be considered cheating, but for tonight's NaBloPoMo post, I am bringing out my 100 Things post from a couple of years ago.  I am making a few updates and will provide a little commentary, thus qualifying this as a new post and not just a republish.

Without further adieu, Mary-LUE's 100 Things about me list.  (In case you are newish to the blogosphere, these lists were quite popular a couple of years ago.)  Changes from the old list will be marked in bold print.

1. I am terrified of earthquakes, tornadoes, any other natural disaster or any man-made disaster.
2. I am afraid to fly but will do it. (The last couple of trips, Xanax has been my flying companion.)
3. I am left-handed. Go southpaws!
4. I am a child of divorce.
5. I grew up watching soap operas with my grandma: Ryan's Hope, All My Children, As the World Turns, The Guiding Light.
6. I grew up reading Harlequin Romances. Sometimes they were the only thing around to read. My mom, grandma and aunts used to show up for family gatherings with grocery bags full of them to swap.
7. I love sci-fi but would probably be considered a lightweight by real sci-fi fans.
8. I love to read.
9. I am 43 (blech!) years old.  Soon to be 44 (gulp!).  I find that this journey into my mid-40s is not all that exciting.  
10. I was born on Thanksgiving Day 1964.
11. I was born in Oklahoma but raised in California.
12. I have two kids.
13. I have one husband, that is, I'm still on my first!
14. I received a BA in Literary Studies in 1990.  (Lord willing, I'll receive my M.S. in 2009.)
15. I am a complete and utter slob. Really. Fortunately, my friends love me anyway.
16. I am a moderate extravert.
17. I am intuitive.
18. I am more of a feeler than a thinker, but just barely.
19. I am very, very unstructured.
20. If I had to pick a pretend celebrity boyfriend, it would have to be either Daniel Day Lewis or Gabriel Byrne. Hugh Laurie (House era) would do in a pinch.  (I've reached a stage in my life where I don't think I want to "date" one celebrity.  I think I'd like to keep my options open.)
21. I was once dubbed "the Sage" by a man who later refused to listen to any wisdom I had to share with him.
22. I am a very good friend.
23. I am a former idealist.
24. I am a reluctant pragmatist.
25. I loved drawing when I was younger.
26. My career as an actress was killed before it began by a high school drama teacher who described me as mousy.
27. I use more words in a day than the average person.
28. I am a backwards perfectionist. If I'm not sure I can do something, I'd rather not try it at all than try and fail. How sad is that?
29. I have the best friends a person could have.
30. I am too much of a generalist for this list-making to come easily.
31. I felt homely as a child.
32. I felt invisible as a teenager.
33. I got along better with guys than girls until I was a "grup."
34. I know where the word grup comes from. Do you?
35. I knew Rock Hudson was gay years and years before it came out in the news. My source? My mom and grandma. Don't ask me how they knew.
36. I think Martin Short's impersonation of Montgomery Clift in the movie Cross My Heart is one of the funniest moments ever.
37. I love old movies.
38. I tend to think in metaphors.
39. I never lived with my father.
40. I have a half-brother I've never met just met this year.
41. I had one brother who died of ALS.
42. I have one sister.
43. I love dogs.
44. I am making do with two guinea pigs living without... for now.
45. I am married to a guitar guy.
46. As a child, I used to have nightmares about the sun going out.
47. As a child, I was allowed to watch too many episodes of The Outer Limits, The Night Gallery and The Sixth Sense.
48. I am related to two 30's era criminals on my mother's side.
49. I am related to famous Civil War era outlaws on my father's side.
50. I can't believe I'm only up to 50 on this list.
51. I watch too much TV.
52. I am now on the computer too much. Thank you blogosphere.
53. I love giving presents.
54. I think I am a hard person to buy for.
55. When inspiration strikes, I give the best presents.
56. When I am not inspired: gift cards or candles.
57. I have come a long way, baby, but am still too insecure.
58. I yell at my kids too much--but not as much as I used to.
59. My kids yell at me too much--but not as much as they used to.
60. I do not like being the center of attention.
61. I used to cry whenever poignant dad moments were shown on TV or in a movie.
62. My grandpa died in 1990; my brother died in 1995; my grandma died in 1996; my aunt died in 1999; my uncle died in 2004.
63. I think death sucks.
64. I am more like the grasshopper than the ant.
65. I like it to be between 65 and 78 degrees. Any cooler or hotter and I am cranky!
66. I am beginning to go gray.
67. I had way too many sunburns as a child, blisters and all, to not think about the possibility of skin cancer.  (Since writing this two years ago, my dermatologist has made his opinion clear: check ups every three months and cover myself head to toe when I go out.)
68. My son (a rabid teenager) when asked to contribute to this list said that I am a control freak, communist, Nazi, social-life killer who is trying to starve him to death. (I love you, too, honey.)  (I'm too smart to ask him this question again!)
69. I think being a mom is the hardest thing I have ever done or ever will do.
70. I didn't marry a "father type." Thank God.
71. I'm not good with money.
72. My husband would be good with money if he weren't married to me.
73. I used to have excellent grammar skills. Ah, the good old days.
74. I love stories.
75. I know have forgotten what persiflage means.  I'll have to go look it up on one of my favorite websites:  Dictionary.com.
76. I have jokingly considered getting a tatto but probably never will.
77. I love Fred Astaire's version of "The Way You Look Tonight."
78. I can't understand when people read only non-fiction. How is that possible?
79. I have a problem with my pride.
80. Vulnerability is not my strong suit.
81. It took getting married for me to be able to deal with a lot of the emotional baggage in my life. Poor Paul!
82. I like having painted toenails.
83. I hate having painted fingernails.
84. I almost never have all my bases covered, cosmetically speaking. I never make it out the door with lipstick, earrings, etc. I am just not good at doing the "girl" thing.
85. Oh wait. I had a good one but I forgot it. I guess I'm more absent-minded than I used to be.
86. I am currently wondering how people do these lists.
87. I hate conflict and will avoid it whenver possible.
88. I'm not good at finishing things I've started. . . but I will finish this list.
89. I have a deep rebellious streak.
90. I have zero athletic ability.
91. I tell the same stories over and over again.
92. I am a Christian. (Should I have mentioned that sooner?)
93. My favorite worship songs were written by my husband and my friend, Tamila.
94. I cannot stand John Lennon's song Imagine. I think it has the stupidest lyrics EVER.
95. If I go to a sad movie with people, I might shed a few tears. If I go alone, I will really cry. Exception: Winona Ryder version of Little Women. I went with a bunch of women to go see that and when Beth died, I sobbed.
96. I like the idea of gardening but not the real work of it.
97. I don't know what I want to be when I grow up.
98. Chocolate is a necessity, not an option.
99. There can never be enough ice in my soda.
100. I am newly addicted a veteran addict of the sci-fi show Firefly.

As I did the first time I published this list.  I make this offer:  if you have any questions or want me to elaborate on any item on this list, let me know.  (It will give me more posts for NaBloPoMo!)

7 down, 23 to go

Down the Rabbit Hole

First Blogger, then occasional flirtings with MySpace.  A renewed relationship with Facebook.  And now?  Now I'm checkin' out Twitter.  I might as well just get in line to have my consciousness transferred to the web.  

I'm a hopeless case.

If you are a hopeless case... or at least a Twitter user, click on my Twitter badge and connect with me.  Right now it's just me!

100 things

Posting lists of 100 random things about you seems to be the very bloggy thing to do. Inspired by my friend, chickenone of ky coop cast and her recent most excellent list, I present to you my list of 100 things you may or may not be interested in knowing about me.

1. I am terrified of earthquakes, tornadoes, any other natural disaster or any man-made disaster.
2. I am afraid to fly but will do it. (The last couple of trips, Xanax has been my flying companion.)
3. I am left-handed. Go southpaws!
4. I am a child of divorce.
5. I grew up watching soap operas with my grandma: Ryan's Hope, All My Children, As the World Turns, The Guiding Light.
6. I grew up reading Harlequin Romances. Sometimes they were the only thing around to read. My mom, grandma and aunts used to show up for family gatherings with grocery bags full of them to swap.
7. I love sci-fi but would probably be considered a lightweight by real sci-fi fans.
8. I love to read.
9. I am 43 (blech!) years old.
10. I was born on Thanksgiving Day 1964.
11. I was born in Oklahoma but raised in California.
12. I have two kids.
13. I have one husband, that is, I'm still on my first!
14. I received a BA in Literary Studies in 1990.
15. I am a complete and utter slob. Really. Fortunately, my friends love me anyway.
16. I am a moderate extravert.
17. I am intuitive.
18. I am more of a feeler than a thinker, but just barely.
19. I am very, very unstructured.
20. If I had to pick a pretend celebrity boyfriend, it would have to be either Daniel Day Lewis or Garbriel Byrne. Hugh Laurie (House era) would do in a pinch.
21. I was once dubbed "the Sage" by a man who later refused to listen to any wisdom I had to share with him.
22. I am a very good friend.
23. I am a former idealist.
24. I am a reluctant pragmatist.
25. I loved drawing when I was younger.
26. My career as an actress was killed before it began by a high school drama teacher who described me as mousy.
27. I use more words in a day than the average person.
28. I am a backwards perfectionist. If I'm not sure I can do something, I'd rather not try it at all than try and fail. How sad is that?
29. I have the best friends a person could have.
30. I am too much of a generalist for this list-making to come easily.
31. I felt homely as a child.
32. I felt invisible as a teenager.
33. I got along better with guys than girls until I was a "g'rup."
34. I know where the word g'rup comes from. Do you?
35. I knew Rock Hudson was gay years and years before it came out in the news. My source? My mom and grandma. Don't ask me how they knew.
36. I think Martin Short's impersonation of Montgomery Clift in the movie Cross My Heart is one of the funniest moments ever.
37. I love old movies.
38. I tend to think in metaphors.
39. I never lived with my father.
40. I have a half-brother I met for the first time this year.
41. I had one brother who died of ALS.
42. I have one sister.
43. I love dogs.
44. I am no longer making do with two guinea pigs.  Now I am just doing without.  Some day, though.  Some day.
45. I am married to a guitar guy.
46. As a child, I used to have nightmares about the sun going out.
47. As a child, I was allowed to watch too many episodes of The Outer Limits, The Night Gallery and The Sixth Sense.
48. I am related to two 30's era criminals on my mother's side.
49. I am related to famous post-Civil War era outlaws on my father's side.
50. I can't believe I'm only up to 50 on this list.
51. I watch too much TV.
52. I am now on the computer too much. Thank you blogosphere.
53. I love giving presents.
54. I think I am a hard person to buy for.
55. When inspiration strikes, I give the best presents.
56. When I am not inspired: gift cards or candles.
57. I have come a long way, baby, but am still too insecure.
58. I yell at my kids too much.  (Actually, not so much anymore)
59. My kids yell at me too much.  (Ditto)
60. I do not like being the center of attention.
61. I used to cry whenever poignant dad moments were shown on TV or in a movie.
62. My grandpa died in 1990; my brother died in 1995; my grandma died in 1996; my aunt died in 1999; my uncle died in 2004.
63. I think death sucks.
64. I am more like the grasshopper than the ant.
65. I like it to be between 65 and 78 degrees. Any cooler or hotter and I am cranky!
66. I am beginning to go gray.
67. I had way too many sunburns as a child, blisters and all, to not think about the possibility of skin cancer.  My dermatologist would agree.  He wants me in for checks every three months and he thinks I should be covered head to toe every time I go out.
68. My son (a rabid teenager) when asked to contribute to this list said that I am a control freak, communist, Nazi, social-life killer who is trying to starve him to death. (I love you, too, honey.)
69. I think being a mom is the hardest thing I have ever done or ever will do.
70. I didn't marry a "father type." Thank God.
71. I'm not good with money.
72. My husband would be good with money if he weren't married to me.
73. I used to have excellent grammar skills. Ah, the good old days.
74. I love stories.
75. I know what persiflage means.  (Um, not so much now.  I'll have to go look that up.)
76. I have jokingly considered getting a tatto but probably never will.
77. I love Fred Astaire's version of "The Way You Look Tonight."
78. I can't understand when people read only non-fiction. How is that possible?
79. I have a problem with my pride.
80. Vulnerability is not my strong suit.
81. It took getting married for me to be able to deal with a lot of the emotional baggage in my life. Poor Paul!
82. I like having painted toenails.
83. I hate having painted fingernails.
84. I almost never have all my bases covered, cosmetically speaking. I never make it out the door with lipstick, earrings, etc. I am just not good at doing the "girl" thing.
85. Oh wait. I had a good one but I forgot it. I guess I'm more absent-minded than I used to be.
86. I am currently wondering how people do these lists.
87. I hate conflict and will avoid it whenver possible.
88. I'm not good at finishing things I've started. . . but I will finish this list.
89. I have a deep rebellious streak.
90. I have zero athletic ability.
91. I tell the same stories over and over again.
92. I am a Christian. (Should I have mentioned that sooner?)
93. My favorite worship songs were written by my husband and my friend, Tamila.
94. I cannot stand John Lennon's song Imagine. I think it has the stupidest lyrics EVER.
95. If I go to a sad movie with people, I might shed a few tears. If I go alone, I will really cry. Exception: Winona Ryder version of Little Women. I went with a bunch of women to go see that and when Beth died, I sobbed.
96. I like the idea of gardening but not the real work of it.
97. I don't know what I want to be when I grow up.
98. Chocolate is a necessity, not an option.
99. There can never be enough ice in my soda.
100. I am newly a veteran addict of the sci-fi show Firefly.  I do my best to lure others to my addiction.

So, if you know me, how much of this list did you already know? If you don't know me and want me to explain anything on the list, give me a holler. . . I'll do my best to explain.