No NaBloPoMo for Me

I have participated in NaBloPoMo twice. It was always worth it, although I believe the resulting posts were not always all they could have been.

This year? I just can't do it. I have too much on my proverbial plate. However, I did think I would try to do something a little different. You see, I am trying something new. I am self-binding. And while that does conjure up an image for me that is less than pleasant, it is actually an attempt to create some space in my life... space that The Internet is taking up. The author of the article, Stop Your Search Engines, defines self-binding as...

"intentionally creating an obstacle to behavior I was helpless to control, much the way Ulysses lashed himself to his ship's mast to avoid succumbing to the Sirens' song..."

The Way We Live Now - Going Offline in Search of Freedom - NYTimes.com

(3 November 2009)

I've announced this on Twitter and Facebook so many of you will already know about this. However, here at Life, the Universe and Everything, I thought I might take some of my Internet-allowed time to share a little bit of my experience as I go along.

Regular readers (Hi there, all 5 of you!) will know that I am really, truly, FINALLY trying to write my masters' project. Life had thrown a few obstacles in my path. I have thrown a few obstacles in my path. But the countdown is on. I need to start knocking out chapters... like NOW, baby. But I am addicted to my social networking time. I had discussed this with my sister-in-law and when she read the article, she forwarded it to me. I don't have the right computer (a Mac) to install the program that it mentions, called Freedom, which lets you tell the computer when NOT to let you use the Internet. However, I do have a removable wireless card for my laptop, which is a long, embarrassing story of a woman who was so anxious to order her new computer that she accidentally deselected the internal wireless card during the ordering process.

The good news, though, is that allows me to hand over my wireless card to my husband at 10 a.m. and retrieve it from him at 8 p.m. These are somewhat random hours... it gives me time to do a little hanging out on Twitter with some of the bestest people ever in the morning and also attempts to make me available to my family for the afternoon and evening--without a laptop in between us.

Yesterday was Day One of my Ulysses-inspired experiment and things actually went very well. I did a little bit of writing on my project but the most beneficial aspect of it all was that I interacted with my family in a more meaningful way. It is really quite embarrassing to admit this but I am really glued to the computer for hours and hours a day. Homework was completed with less frustration and no raised voices... bedtime happened with less bother.... I felt better about myself to be honest. I did experience some anxiety about an hour or two before 8 p.m. but I think that was more due to worries about the writing process for my project than withdrawal from Web 2.0.

Over the next month, I am planning on giving updates... on my writing progress... on the dynamic at home... anything related to this bid at reclaiming space in my life. I'll see you around the 'verse... before 10 a.m. and after 8 p.m., Monday through Friday!

The Story of Mary and Mr. LUE

Once upon time there was a girl--who loved to read books--and a boy--who loved to play guitar.

They were both young and stupid and lived in So-So Cal.

They got together.

He played guitar. She read books.

They broke up.

He got a job. She dropped out of college.

They got together.

He played some more guitar and worked. She got a full-time job and read books.

They broke up.

He moved away to the land of 10 gallon hats. She kept working and moving from apartment to apartment to apartment. Her friends never wrote her address in their address books in ink.

They started talking about getting back together with the added idea of getting married.

He brought her a pretty sapphire ring. She moved to the land of 10 gallon hats.

They decided to get married by a local justice of the peace instead of having a wedding back in So-So Cal. There was no money and neither of them was interested in getting up in front of a bunch of people to say their vows.

They went back to So-So Cal for a wedding reception in her aunt’s backyard. Her mom’s friend made the cake. Her uncle’s Vo Tech high school class printed the invitations. Her family made the food.

While he moved up the professional electronics sales ladder, she completed her literary studies degree.

They got a dog who would give the cinematic dog, Marley, a run for his money. His name was Bob.

They moved back to So-So Cal.

They had a baby. She stayed at home. He traveled.

A bunch of other stuff happened. Some good. Some bad. Some happy. Some sad.

She worked at the church. He played guitar for the church.

Eight years later they had another baby.

More stuff happened. Some good. Some bad. Some happy. Some sad.

He is still working in the professional electronics industry and playing guitar. She went back to school to learn how to teach people to read.

What’s next? Who knows, but I bet there’ll be some guitar playing and reading going on.

A LUE Baby Story (for Subspace Beacon)

Once upon a time (16yrs, 5mos, 22days), in So-So California, a baby boy was born to Mary-LUE and her husband, Paul.  It was a long day of labor, induced around six in the morning and concluding around six that evening after 3 1/2 hours of pushing.  (Yes.  3 1/2.  Hours.)  Baby LUE was 8 lbs., 13 oz. with an alien-shaped head, red, irritated eyes, and the tiniest bit of blond fuzz on top of his head.  

Mary-LUE was exhausted.  Paul was exhausted.  Sister-in-law-LUE, who was also present for the birth, was exhausted.  Approximately 24 hours earlier, this episode of Murphy Brown was on tv:

Mary-LUE, Paul, and Sister-in-law-LUE sat together watching this episode laughing. A kind of hee, hee, haw, haw laugh that seemed to say, "This is so funny. Ha, Ha. This is so funny. I'm not nervous about tomorrow. Tomorrow's delivery will be nothing like this. Hee. Haw. Help me!"

Well, Mary-LUE's labor was not a pretty site.  It would have been a lot funnier if Diane English would have written it, but like Murphy Brown's labor and delivery, there was lots of pain, lots of people trying to help, a time when Mary-LUE didn't think she could do it, and then this:

(Teen-LUE facsimile)

Well, actually, first there was this:

And the LUE family lived happily ever after... until the next delivery 7 years, 52 weeks later. But that's a story for another day.

Historical Note: The same day that Baby-LUE was born, Murphy Brown made headlines when Dan Quayle criticized her for promoting unwed motherhood.

5 down, 25 to go

A Migraine Primer

M is for Mental Tasks, as in difficulty performing

I is for Irritability, as in my family is on the receiving end of

G is for Gastric Stasis (yes, a real term), my tummy shuts down

R is for Rabbit Hole, as in rumor has it Lewis Carroll had migraines and pasages in Alice in Wonderland describe them

A is for Aura and Appetite, as in lack of

I is for d-I-zzy, as in. . . Wait!  that doesn't work. Oh yeah!  Go back to M is for Mental Tasks, as in difficulty performing

N is for Nausea, as in "at least I'm not vomiting"

E is for Energy, as in I have no energy

S is for Suck.  Migraines suck!

Sleeping with Bread: Glass Half Full or Half Empty?

You know that old story about the pessimist child and the optimist child who are presented with a room full of manure? The optimist child just knows that given that big pile there's a pony in there somewhere.



Well, I've been thinking about doing a Sleeping with Bread post for quite awhile now but have struggled with what to say. There's the potential for me to dwell on the big pile right now but I know that there's a pony in there somewhere. A pony covered in something smelly, maybe, but a pony nonetheless.

Without further adieu...

So far this year, what has left you feeling like your glass is half empty?

I feel like I am looking at a system-wide failure right now. Physically, I haven't exercised in months and months. School was so time and energy consuming AND I didn't have someone to exercise with due to conflicting schedules. Combined with my sleep apnea therapy not working out for months and I am something of a wreck. I've gained quite a bit of weight since December and I just don't feel good about how I feel or how I look. Blech!

Spiritually, I am in the same boat. I have not paid attention to my spiritual formation and it shows. Maybe not to the general onlooker, but it shows to me and I feel somewhat paralyzed to address the issue.

In regards to relationships, I am a weak participant on almost every level. I've become somewhat isolated due to my lack of energy and time. Although I have more time now that school is out, I am such a sloth that I am not making much effort to connect with people.

(Are you getting sick of this whining yet? I promise I am going to move on to more positive stuff soon!)

My dad died this year. It is a situation and history so complex that a Gordian Knot is the best metaphor to describe it. The story continues to add to its complexity with the administration, or rather, attempted administration of the trust. Additionally, this summer, I have been dealing with other family issues. Junk from the past. Nothing new going on--just reminders of what has been.

Finally, we've been dealing with some issues with my son's jaw. It started locking up and wouldn't you know it, he is one of less than 5 percent of people who complete orthodontic work with potential TMJ problems. It just kills me that he has to deal with this and until we know for sure (and it is very likely) that he won't need surgical intervention, I'm not going to be at ease.

I was talking with a friend the other day about all of this and I remembered the Undertoad from The World According to Garp. All of this stuff combined makes me feel like the Undertoad is there, lurking in the waves, waiting for me.

Okay, finally...

What in the last year has left you feeling like your glass is half full?


Paul has been incredibly patient and understanding through the whole "year of getting used to grad school." He values, I think, what I am doing and what it means to me and how it can benefit our family.


Colin has been a pleasure this year. Of course, he is a teenager, so we're not talking perfection here. Beyond some stereotypical conflicts with grades, sibling interaction and what not, I have been very proud to see how he has been handling himself. He's been great about his license and is taking the privilege of driving very seriously. We've had some conversations about Life, the Universe and Everything and I have to say, he has impressed me with his insights and outlook. There are definitely some areas in which he is farther along at 16 than I was. He's a kid who inspires trust.


Marley is growing up. I love watching her change as her body and mind continue to grow. She is back in gymnastics and I get such a kick out of what she can do. She has had the opportunity this summer to meet family who are about her age and spend lots of time with friends. She is eager to enjoy her life and although that can be exhausting for Paul and I at times, I love her joie de vivre.


School has gone well. I've learned a lot and met a lot of great people. I went into this program with an idea that I would enjoy and am thrilled to find that I not only enjoy it, I think I am going to be good at it... once I am finished. I still have a year to go and I won't finish in May 09 as I planned. Instead, due to a scheduling problem with some classes, I will finish in July 09. No worries. I may not get to walk for commencement but I will get to look for work for the fall.

So, while there is lots of stuff which is weighing me down somewhat, there is still so much to be grateful for. And... so much of this stuff is within my power to change. I can exercise, I can pay attention to my spiritual formation, etc. If I can work on some of those changes, the balance can be shifted significantly and I won't be look at a glass half full OR empty, but a glass that is simply full and overflowing.

Let's Catch Up... (Now with Earthquake Update!)

We interrupt this meme to let you know that the LUE household did indeed feel the recent 5.4 earthquake located in Chino Hills, California (approximately 20 miles away). The LUE house did some rockin' and a rollin' but sustained no damage. A good time was had by Marley-LUE and her friend. Mary-LUE retained her composure very well considering her strong fear of those danged things. We hope that there is no serious damage or injuries. We now return you to our regularly scheduled meme:

Alpha DogMa tagged me for a meme. Here's the deal...

Think back on the last 15 years of your life. What would you tell someone that you hadn’t seen or talked to for 15 years? How would you sum up your life? You get 10 bullet points. A list of 10 things to summarize about you. At the end of your list, tag 5 more people and send on the love…

I've been thinking on this for a few days now and finally, tonight, here is my list. I kind of had a friend in mind when I wrote this. Back in my Dallas days, I knew a woman named Linda. She is a comedian and a film maker. We kept in touch a little after I moved to California but haven't spoken in years. Whenever I think about her, I smile. She was funny, warm, creative, kind. Like no one else.

I googled her yesterday. I can't remember what made me think about her... anyway... I came across a couple of clips that I think you should go check out when you are finished. (I'll link the clips at the end of this post.) I think you will laugh and see a little bit of the woman I knew.

And so, Linda, it has been a long time. Here's a little of what I've been up to in the last 15 years:

1. Added a second kid to the family. The kids are eight years apart—rather, 7 years and 49 weeks, to the day. Colin is 16 and Marley 8. They would crack you up.

2. Celebrated 20 years of marriage—mind-boggling, not because I’m surprised by it, but just because I cannot believe that much time has gone by.

3. Started grad school—blah, blah, blah, Reading Education Master's, blah, blah, blah, focus on postsecondary developmental reading, blah, blah, blah. (Anyone reading this blog is probably sick of hearing about it, but for the person who I haven’t spoken to in forever, this is news.)

4. Went to the Van Gogh exhibit at the LACMA of art twice. To die for.

5. Sadly, experienced the death of one brother, one grandmother, one aunt, one uncle, and one father.

6. Was part of a church planting team and part of the leadership of that church for close to 10 years—still attend but just are not as involved in leadership.

7. Started blogging!!!!! Even though I am a sad sack blogger at best these days, this was a big deal in writing for me, opening a new community to me, etc.

8. (For Alpha DogMa), attended one Star Trek convention and am working on some day attending ComicCon—Joss Whedon rocks!

9. Didn’t go to New York City (yet), didn’t go to Ireland (yet), didn’t go to England (yet), didn’t go to Greece (yet), and finally, didn’t go to Italy (yet).

10. Became more myself, yet completely changed. I think people who knew me then would say I am much the same: talkative, outgoing, a good friend, etc. But I am also free of some emotional burdens and saddled with others. I am forever changed by the experience of being a parent—those kids will get to you every time. I am 20 years into marriage and would not give up the things I’ve learned in that time to be 20 years old again. I have seen people at their best and people at their not so best. I have developed relationships that I think I will treasure forever and let go of relationships that were unhealthy. I may not have “done” that may things in the last 15 years, but I have spent time doing what I love best, being with people.

So, it is my turn to tag. (Wow, I haven't done this in a looooong time.) Okay. I tag Michelle, TerriB (I know you are on a break, but this can wait until you are back in the 'verse.), Maddy, Riley, and Meredith.

And here are the clips for you to watch:

Adopted and Ten Year Old Dog
(The second video may work best in Explorer.)

Cue Also Sprach Zarathustra...

How's that for a reference? Am I erudite or what?

Actually, I had to call my husband in and ask him, "Is there a name for that music from 2001 Space Odyssey? Not the Blue Danube 'duh duh duh DUH DUH-DUH-DUH' one. The dum, dum, dum, DUMDUM!!!!! one."

Without a moment's hesitation, he said, "Yes. Also sprach zarathustra."

I am duly impressed.

So here I am. My online final was finished around 1:30 p.m. I was less than pleased with it. Not because I don't think I did well. No, my study guide said that we would have 45-50 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer. My actual final had 4 multiple choice questions, 2 matching, and 4 essays. Arghhh!!!! I don't like surprises with school--unless of course, it is, "Surprise! You don't have to take the test!"

I am now beginning Mission-Make-Up-For-Months-Of-Neglect. I took Marley and her friend to the local craft store and bought hats and tote bags and fabric paint. I had iron-on transfers at home, took a picture of the girls, made an iron-on transfer, and then let them decorate with the fabric paint.



You can't see the cute picture, which is on the other side of the tote bag. The girls are thrilled. (I'm glad neatness doesn't count in homemade projects!)

For He Who Wishes Not To Be Named, it was as simple as letting him and his friends light illegal fireworks in the backyard tonight. Our town has a No Fireworks policy.

For myself, well, what I should be doing is going out for a walk. I haven't exercised in months and, oh! do I feel it! I should also be eating better, using my CPAP machine, taking my vitamins, cleaning the house, spending time with my husband. The list. It goes on and on.

But at least I'm blogging, right? Blogging is very, very important. For the next few weeks (see ticker below), I am hoping to write every few days and visit others daily. We will be going on vacation in a few days, but we will have two laptops with us. (I know, I know. What an extravagance!) We even have Verizon wireless and so I can blog from the interstate if I want. Blogging from the interstate may not consist of more than "I hate traveling. I'm hot! My kids are fighting! When are we going to get there?!!!" I'll try not to do that to y'all.

So. I'll be back in the next few days. Officially, my first post back was to be dedicated to atypical. I don't know if this one qualifies. It is such a ramble. I'll keep working on it.

In the meantime, come and by and say hello. Let me know how you've been, what's new, etc. I can't promise I'll be going back and reading too many old posts, but I'll try to keep up from here.

Love you all. Missed you all!

Mary-LUE

Things I might be writing about in the next few weeks:

My Stellar Academic Career
Vacation, OK and TX style
Family News: long, lost family, drama with a trust -- STAY TUNED!
What I'm (not) reading
The Artichoke of Great Neglect
A New Car!!!!
Spiritual Life, What Spiritual Life?

Bullet Points

Mammogram today. . . Ouch!

Left my carpool kid at school today. . . D'oh!

Continued research on the positive and negative impact of California's Proposition 227 which made bilingual education illegal. . . Yawn!

Lessons from Teaching Reading to Elementary School Students - A quiz for you all:

What's a diphthong?

What's a schwa?

What is the Control R?

What is a digraph and what makes it regular or variant?

I guess that's it for now.


P.S. In response to request to see me in a blue M&M suit. . . It's coming, pinky swear!

Ground Control to Major Tom...

commencing countdown, engines on...

I don't know why but this song popped into my head as I decided to do a quick post in the midst of two online class assignments.

I guess there is only so much analysis of the sociocultural context of literacy and learning using J.P. Gee's six contexts (cognitive, social, cultural, historical, institutional, linguistic) in regards to African American students and Chinese American students that a girl can do. . .

on Valentine's day!

And I still have the 30-year journey of literacy from a linguistic, psycholinguistic, cognitive psychology, and sociolinguistic perspectives.

Woo woo!

I do know more than I ever thought I would about the morphosyllabic nature of the Chinese writing system (not a logographic one as is commonly thought) and how it differs significantly from our phonemic alphabetic one.

I also know that the Chinese language is congruent with the Base 10 mathmatic system and that English is not.

I should probably stop before you all die of excitement and interest, shouldn't I?

At the risk of sounding like The Boy Who Cried Wolf, I am fairly scared over the amount of work I will have to do this semester. It will be much worse than last semester. Truly. Of course, in the face of so much reading, analysis, research preparation, etc., what am I spending too much time doing? Reading for pleasure.

I am procrastinator extraordinaire. I could compete in the Olympics of Procrastination and Time Wasting. I would win every gold medal.

Oh well, Marley is dressed up as a giant blue M & M and is bouncing off the walls. Paul is making dinner and Colin is making brownies. And the literacy journey awaits.

I just wanted to say hello.

Hello!

A Pox Upon My House and a Quiz Answer Revealed

Be it a Shakespearean character, Karma or just plain bad luck, my house has been stricken...


Monday night I got a migraine and yesterday I was nursing a migraine hangover most of the day.


I was stressing a little about dealing with my first day of the semester when I heard my son walk in (two hours before school was due to let out). He had called Paul while Paul was out running errands.


He was shivering and pale, complaining about a stomachache. I sent him to bed.


Great. Migraine hangover, sick kid and Paul was packing for an early evening flight.


I made it to school and survived just fine. Paul's parents came over to stay with the kids.


After classes, I took Colin's temp and then decided to take Marley's, just in case. It was 99.9. I talked myself into believing it was a fluke.


And now, it is 3something in the morning, Colin just finished throwing up, he's shivering again and I take Marley's temperature again. 102.something.


Crap.


Welcome to the Spring Semester.



****************************************************



Many of you rightly guessed that I am the Mrs. Bennet of parental driving instruction. Some of you were kind and guessed more charitable answers. Alpha DogMa was creative and thought outside of the box--Miss Daisy was not a choice. Gratefully, no one suggested Nurse Ratched.



I don't know exactly what I thought I would be like, but I wasn't expecting to have fits of hysterical giggling as every muscle in the right side of my body clenched itself into multiple balls of clenchisity.



Seriously. I am ridiculous. Well, I'm less ridiculous about it now that I've had a little experience.



Fortunately, my son has taken this with an inexplicable and uncustomary amount of good humor and grace. He must really, really, really want to drive.



******************************************************



A note about the quiz. I got the idea for the quiz post and told Colin about it. He looked at me and then proceeded to inform me that it was the most literature-nerdy stupidness he had ever heard of.


To me, that sounds like a compliment!

Year End Contemplations - Of a Mostly Bookish Nature

I will probably do a proper year-end Sleeping with Bread post sometime in the next few days; however, I thought I'd get the blog-posting juices flowing with some meandering thoughts. Maybe if I just start writing, without worrying about creativity and cleverness, something creative and clever will start coming out eventually!

First things first... some sidebar info:

New Scenic View - a little British Comic Relief wit Catherine Tate and David Tennant.

A New Quote - from atypical brat's progeny

I also just updated my sidebar with books I've been reading. It looks like I finished about 28 books for the year. I suspect that is a middling average number. I look at the list and some of the books seem like they were read ages ago. I see that I read fewer and fewer books toward the end of the year. (School of course). I can see that the last few books of this year have been what my husband might call "light and fluffy." (You have to hear him say light and fluffy in his silly accented way to get the full impact.) In general, I have been all about romance and period dramas, not just in books, in viewing as well--from two versions of Pride and Prejudice, two versions of Jane Eyre (I don't care what anyone else says, Charlotte Gainsbourg is a stellar Jane and William Hurt, although physically not the type and a wee bit too long in the tooth, a heavyweight contender for Rochester.), Wives and Daughters, North and South, and moving into the 20th century, but still a period drama, Foyle's War. I'm just finished with Series 2. Thanks goodness for Netflix. I love Michael Kitchen.

As the year ended, I also got sucked into the vortex of some 19th century inspired fan fiction. (Imagine me cringing a little here as I write this.) It has been a lot of fun. There is a lot of really bad stuff out there. Many uses of the words frisson, tendrils, ministrations, ambit, etc. Some of it has been quite nice, though. It has been a way of staying in a well-loved story and imagining what happened next to Jane and Rochester or Margaret and John. Through the fan fiction board, I also became acquainted with a fan fic writer who ended up getting a publishing contract. Two of her books have been published so far. You'll notice More Than Love Letters in my sidebar by Rosy Thornton. I haven't read her second book yet, but MTLL was a fun romantic comedy written in the form of emails, meeting minutes, etc. There are some laugh-out-loud moments and I actually got a little teary at the end. Rosy and I have engaged in a little of our own email correspondence and it has been a treat to e-meet an author. (Hi Rosy!)

Back to books... I realized as I was looking over the book list that there are many books which I have bought this year but have not yet read. I think in 2008, I will convert my book list to show books bought AND read--that will be interesting.

Well, this post is getting long. There is more to contemplate than my reading habits for the year. I find that Christmas and New Year is a time I spend thinking about my Uncle L.T. I also made some resolutions for myself last year. Resolutions I failed at meeting. Utterly failed at meeting. But I also experienced a lot I didn't expect to. There is definitely alot of yeast for that Sleeping with Bread post I have rising, ready to bake.


Well, this post did some meandering but I don't see much in the way of creative or cliver--maybe next time! ;)

November update with lots of () and ...

Wow! I can't believe I haven't posted since the day after Halloween! I think that is definitely the longest bit of time between posts on this blog. I am a little chagrined to think of all the time I spent bemoaning how little time I would have for blogging when I started school. I actually managed somewhat nicely until November. Multiple papers, out-of-town visitors, etc. conspired to finally knock the wind out of my blogging sails. My Google reader regulary informs me there are as many as 180 posts to read. 180 posts??!!!! I periodically hit "Mark All As Read" and move on.

School is slowing down though. I have: one paper to write this week (reporting on my teaching of a reading comprehension strategy to three students); one Power Point presentation showing a lesson plan which incorporates technology in the classroom (Guess what? My lesson involves blogging!); four chapters from my content area literacy book; and, one online response project. That's it. After those few assignments I will have completed my first semester of grad school. Yeah me! (And, of course, yeah! Paul, Marley and Colin for having to live through it!)

Marley Update: I've had many people ask my about Marley. I pretty much left everyone with a Strep Throat cliff hanger. She perked up within a couple of days of being on her antibiotics and has been fine ever since. I has some apprehension because about day 7 of her medication she went on strike and refused to take the pills. We got one or two more in her after that and I intended to call the doctor to either get his okay to stop or a prescription for some liquid meds to finish her out. Of course, I became distracted and never got that call made. She hasn't had a relapse and it has been a few weeks, so I think we are out of the woods on this one.

Other than that, life is, you know, what you might expect. Paul is gearing up to hit the road after being home for weeks (lovely, lovely weeks). Colin prepares for his driver's license permit and behind-the-wheel driver's education. (Theoretically I am happy for him and ready for him to drive. Seeing as how he has not actually driven a car yet, it remains to be seen if my theoretical acceptance will translate into actual acceptance that my baby...sniff... boy... sniff... is DRIVING!!!!

Oh yes, life-wise, tomorrow, 11/26, is my birthday. 43. In spite of all the good things going on in my life, I face 43 with less enthusiam than 42. I can't say why. I know I've enjoyed being an age that equates to the Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything. What does a has-been Ultimate Answer do when she leaves that magical number behind? I guess we'll find out this year.

There is so much more to blog...

• I never got to finishing BubandPie's tag of five influential books...
• I've been on a period costume drama DVD binge: both Pride and Prejudices (Firth vs. MacFadyen: I have my definitive fave, but at the risk of an all out Darcy War, I will remain silent as to my preference), Wives and Daughters, North and South (again!)...
• I've also been reading all those books (as ebooks of all things).
• School! I've learned so much about content area literacy and adult developmental education. I am enjoying what I'm learning and am excited to share some of it here...
• Sleeping with Bread. I've not baked my bread of gratitude here for such a long time, yet there is so much to be thankful for...
• In January, Paul and I will celebrate 20 years of marriage... so much to blog about that!

I've missed the companionship I get in the blogosphere. I wish I could have kept up with everyone and kept everyone up-to-speed. But well, isn't there some saying about wishes?

School is winding down... I'll get back in the swing of things. At least until January 18th when my spring semester starts and I am taking 9 units. (9? Oy!)

In the meantime, I leave you with this poem... just because I like it:

There Is A River by S.A. Griffen

there is a cheerful ignorance

a chance meeting and

luck like gold that cannot be

mined or stolen
a common atom
a dance
and stars that trick the

water with their

certain magic
do not wash your wars in it

take your holy rituals to the

precious fountains built by your

agencies of fear
press your

wine from the fallout

and drink victory
for yes
there is a river

a giving river that will

sing you safely
a river of

light
final

fast

and

free
where you can

disrobe

and leave your casual sadness

walking sideways at the

shore
meet me there

whoever you are

and we will agree to

swim it

together

Sleeping with What?

For those of you who are newish to my little universe, I have a meme that I started called Sleeping with Bread. Examining that which gives me consolation and that which causes me desolation is one way to keep me grounded and grateful. I actually set up a blog dedicated to linking up other Sleeping with Bread posts. This summer I took a little sabbatical from my weekly baking. For an extremely unstructured person, I was feeling a little burned out--not on the exercise but on the weekly execution of it. It is time to get back in the habit, though. A few new people have started participating and while my schedule is crazy right now, I think it is healthy for me to take the time to reflect, even when I feel I don't have the time--especially then.

So, this week, I look back and consider when I felt the most fragmented and when I felt the most whole.

Feeling Fragmented

This is easy. How about every day of the week? The weight of a lot of new responsibilities has been weighing on me heavily and evidencing itself in a nervous stomach, irritability and mixing up my words. I'm letting things get to me that I shouldn't and I'm not opening myself up to things that I should. It sucks.

Feeling Whole

Two things stand out to me from this past week. One, I felt most whole when I finally sent myself to my room to spend some time with God. I indulged in two books, Celtic Daily Prayer and Sacred Space. I journaled my responses (in a journal that hadn't been touched in too, too long). I breathed in. I exhaled out. I set aside the worries of my days and acknowledged that I was allowing my fragmented feelings to take control and let in other feelings of anger and bitterness. I asked God for his help. (What a novel concept!) Now, I just have to accept it.

The second thing is a simple one. I took my son and three of his friends to go swimming at the university pool. Our family went several times this summer and Colin was looking forward to sharing the experience with his friends. (The big appeal is the diving pool with two regular diving boards and one high dive.) He'd tried to work things out a few times but I was too busy with unexpected things which came up. I felt whole because I was getting a chance to give my son something he wanted and because of the joy I felt in just watching these adolescent boys go crazy in that pool. Front flips, back flips, cannonballs. They did it all--over and over again. The in-the-moment joy they experienced transmitted itself to me. My heart felt lifted and lightweight.

If you are interested in finding out more about Sleeping with Bread, you can go to the SWB blog or check out Sleeping with Bread: Holding What Gives You Life. There is also an excellent version for children called Making Heart-bread. What I especially love about the children's version is that I think it is also an excellent tool for helping children learn to recognized their emotions.

Sleeping with Bread is a Christian exercise but it isn't Christian only. I encourage you to try it. I think you'll like it.

A brief update... just in case you were wondering.

Not good: Humidity making the temperature feel 5 - 10 degrees hotter than it really is.

It could be worse: It is only in the 80s with a "RealFeel" in the low 90s. A few days ago, it was 105 pickin' degrees with a RealFeel of who-cares-anymore.

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Not good: Stubbed my toe. Ouch! Ouchity-ouch-ouch!

It is worse: It is the same toe I stubbed, broke, whatever last Spring. The one that hurts for weeks and weeks and still hurts on occasion if I wear the wrong shoes.

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Not good: Tomorrow is Thursday. THURSDAY! Thursday is my long, long day. I spend it trying to get things accomplished, like reading chapters on Content Area Literacy and the APA Publication Manual, before 3:30 when I head over to school for 5 to 6 hours of classes. I come home exhausted but hyper and hungry.

It could be worse: I turned into loner-Grad-school-chick tonight and blasted through almost all of my reading and some miscellaneous assignments. Tomorrow I just have to get my work done at the church office, read one chapter on study skills (a timely chapter, I have to say), and prepare a mini-class for Marley's class on poetry recitation. Really, it could be worse.

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Good: My husband is in town. He installed the small window unit-air conditioner in our bedroom so I can sleep. He took care of everything from 4:00 p.m. on tonight, including getting a grande, decaf mocha. Ahhhh. Yummy.

It could be better: Where's my maid? I need a maid. There is shrapnel from Point A to Point B in this house, worse than usual, and I just can't do anything about it. Too hot. Too busy. Too much in need of temporary vegetative state.

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Eh, not so great: I've been too busy to comment on blogs the last few days. I feel like I'm missing out. I've read a few posts, but not too many. I don't like that my time is so tight and my energy for even reading blogs is so low right now.

It could be worse: Once things cool off and the school routine gets going, I'm sure it will be better. I know that my class work will intensify but I'll manage. And you guys aren't going anywhere, right? You'll still be waiting for me when I have a few moments to visit, right?

Hello?

Hello?

Anybody there?

Because of Riley

Riley over at All Rileyed Up posted some personality tests results recently. I already know I'm an ENFP (just like her) but I did do the Multiple Intelligences test. It is totally correct I think, but I was surprised because at some point I had started to think of my self as a visual learner. This was because of a tendency I noticed to communicate and see things in my mind in metaphors. It's like this... Maybe that has more to do with my not being very detail-oriented. My intuitive perceiving nature has a hard time explaining how I know what I know. Any Myers-Briggs specialist out there to confirm or deny this?





I also took the Book Quiz that Riley referenced. I didn't like any of the books it said I was (not the books really, just the comparison). I am so not Ulysses! I am not Confessions of St. Augustine. A Prayer for Owen Meany? Eh, maybe-ish. And Watership Down? I'd like to be, but I don't think that's me either. I went on to try the State Quiz (Nevada), the University Quiz (Case Western) and the 2008 Presidential Candidate Quiz (Dodd-Kerry). None of these fit. I'll just have to stick with the Myers-Briggs.

What a week!

Life has gone from zero to 60 in just a few days. (I may be repeating myself here.) We were dealing with soccer practice which wasn't too bad, just two times a week. I was preparing myself mentally for school to begin when word came that our business manager at church had resigned. Could I give a few hours per week to do the deposits, accounts payable, etc. We are a small church and not having these things done in a timely manner would be a disaster. I have covered for this area in the past--two years ago--and so the leadership asked if I was available. I thought I could give 5 - 10 hours per week, but of course, the first week or two took longer. Following all the minutiae of processing checks, entering them into the finance software, etc., take some getting used to.

This week, I attended my first Master's classes. I was a little nerve-wracked about that, which was intensified by my commitment to helping out at church. I'm not very good at having too much schedule to deal with. However, while I was somewhat anxious, I was also certain that I could manage it for a few weeks. One of my classes is only five weeks long and my hope is that the position will be filled with a new, full-time employee in about the same amount of time. (Let me add here that the church is compensating me for my time.)

All of this was further complicated by an issue I was having regarding Marley. She was going to go with her grandparents on a trip. I should have been more than happy for her to go. She's gone with them before; she would have had fun; I am always more than happy to dump share my children with others. Always. I had an uneasy feeling about it which I couldn't shake. I tried to dismiss it. I said she could go. As it got closer to her leaving, I had to sit down and spend some time in prayer and meditation.

During that time, what came to me was this: maybe I was feeling this way because of so many new obligations that were coming my way--maybe not. I spent time examining the anxiety I was having about school and work. I ended up admitting to God that I just didn't know what to do about Marley and the trip. I asked for help. Should she go or should she stay. As I said that prayer, a feeling washed over my heart. That may sound weird but that is exactly what happened. I realized that when I thought about work or school, my anxiety rested in my gut. When I thought about Marley going on the trip, I was feeling something in my heart.

I walked out of my bedroom and went to talk to Paul. I started crying. I can't really explain why. While he wasn't having the same sense that I was, he completely supported me. I spoke to a couple of other moms and the consensus was the same: listen to my heart. So we did. Marley stayed home. I want to explain that I wasn't having any sort of premonition. There was no specific fear that something would happen to her. It was just an overwhelming sense that she shouldn't go.

All of this has left me a little exhausted this week. I am grateful, though, for friends to talk to about it and to Paul for accepting what I was feeling. Marley's grandparents were very accepting when we said she wasn't going. We never really had to explain why. So, whether it was just some sort of emotional overload or some sort of guiding from God, I am at peace with it all. Further, I was able t get everything I needed to get done for work in about 10 hours this week and after my first round of classes, I think I can do it. The work schedule will be heavy, but not too hard. The "graduate level" writing that I was stressing about is not going to be an issue. They want plain, straightforward writing with good content and decent grammar. I can do that.

I feel like I just crossed Niagara Falls on a tightrope. It was scary. I was wobbly but I didn't fall. Whew!

A Walk Down Memory Lane

I've been frantically looking through boxes hoping to find my marriage certificate or my social security card. Arghh!!! I know they're somewhere. It's a long story but I went looking for both of them today in the place they should've been and they weren't there.

As is the usual case when I am poking around the pictures, I am hit with wave after wave of nostalgia. Since I've been struck with it, I thought I'd share it with you all.

Whoa baby! I think I was near to bursting in this shot.
This picture was taken by the massage therapist who kept
me going during my pregnancy. Unfortunately, I can't remember
how far along I was. Far enough by the looks of that belly.

Would you look at my perfect days-old baby girl?
How much better could it get?

You might think this is pureed peas all over Marley's face.
You'd be half right. This is pureed peas after she'd thrown them up...
all over the place. At least she's happy!

Here I am around 8 months old, I think.
Um... more chubby than cute.
Cool hood ornament.

A Walk Down Memory Lane, Part 2

Also found in my mad scramble for my marriage certificate and Social Security card...

the best Mother's Day card I ever received... EVER!

Front of the card:



Back of the card:



Pretty funny, eh?

The Total Perspective Vortex

Apparently it really is "Geek Week" here at Life, the Universe and Everything as evidenced by this post in which I quote Wikipedia* on information pertaining to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy as it relates to a recent incident in my life.

The Total Perspective Vortex, in the fictional world of Douglas Adams's The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, is the most horrible torture device to which a sentient being can be subjected. Located on Frogstar World B, it shows its victim the entire unimaginable infinity of the universe with a very tiny marker that says "You Are Here" which points to a microscopic dot on a microscopic dot.

I got a little blog'verse style taste of the Total Perspective Vortex this weekend. I received the following comment on my For Maddy post from Nicki Mann:

Hey! I am in the same room with you at Blogher... the one about exclusion/inclusion. Great question you asked... I think thats the kind of thing everyone would want to ask but didn't want to be the person to say it! :D

Well, obviously it was a mistake since I was on my couch at home and not in Chicago with the BlogHer crowd. I emailed her back and apparently there was a woman in the inclusion/exclusion panel discussion who has a blog named Life, the Universe and Everything. She said something Nicki thought was interesting and she googled her blog. My profile picture was apparently a close enough match that she thought she'd arrived at the right LUE.

I decided to use Technorati to search for this woman's blog, this woman who looked somewhat like me and had chosen the same title for her blog. Quite a few results turned up.

I stopped counting after 20.

I guess I don't feel so clever and unique after all.

Sigh.

Oh well, at least I have the coolest looking blog** named Life, the Universe and Everything.



"Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject, so you know you are getting the best possible information." Michael Scott, Dunder Mifflen, Scranton, PA

**Coolest looking blog design influenced by the work of Douglas Adams is courtesy of Izzy of Izzy Design and Graphics.


P.S. I have finally gotten around to putting up my Rocking Girl Blogger award. It is very pink, you can't miss it. Snoskred of Life in the Country very graciously awarded it to me a couple of weeks ago. Thanks Snoskred! I'm supposed to pay it forward and will do so sometime this week or the next.

For Maddy

Yesterday in a comment from my Sunday post, It is Finished, Maddy (McEwen of Whitterer on Autism) asked me and I quote:

Well something is seriously wrong with the timing here, because that post was on Sunday, and you'd finished........now it is Thursday......what on earth [and I use the term advisedly as I see your space scene in the background] have you been doing!
Cheers!

I guess I haven't been posting fast enough for her!

Well, let me try this in a format I haven't used in quite a while. Since finishing HP7, here is my...

Life

• Soccer Camp for Marley
• Washing Marley's soccer clothes every night
• Dealing with very tired Marley's mood swings
• Reading another Neil Gaiman book: Anansi Boys
• Watching Dead Like Me, Season One, Disc Two
• A Trip to Sam's Club during which I purchased approximately a gazillion gallons of beverages
• A Play date with Sheila and her kids at their house
• Complete malfunctioning of schedule on Wednesday combined with a very hot day and extreme tiredness due to OSA (obstructive sleep apnea)
• Desperation at unsuccessful OSA treatment (CPAP therapy) leading to desperate measures.
• Success! OSA desperate measures (which might be a wee exaggeration) leads to two full nights of treatment!
• Watching Damages on FX. Wow! Glenn Close amazes me and looks fabulous. IMDB'd the actress who play Ellen, Rose Byrne, as she looks very familiar. Oh yes! She was great in I Capture the Castle.
• My son informing me that hates me and is never going to respect me. Never. Ever. He means it. (He's fifteen. Need I say more?)
  

the Universe

The world wide web is a fascinating place. It is a virtual metropolis with a business district (such as finance and computer sites), a shopping mall (Amazon.com anyone?), suburban neighborhoods (Mommyblogger Heights, Political Pundit Point, etc.) and that part of town, the seedy area that you try to ignore: Spam Alley.

Every couple of days I have to make a trip to that seedy part of my internet town. Important things find their way there such as legitimate emails with attachments and my Netflix notifications. You can always find what you expect to find: promises of sex and money. In the last few days and weeks, I've noticed a steady stream of Spam directed to appeal to to a different need: friendship.

Fake emails from Blue Mountain, Hallmark and other e-card companies arrive, probably 5 - 10 a day. You've received an e-greeting from a "Friend," a "Neighbor," a "Family Member." My favorite? You've received an e-greeting from a "Worshipper." I have to admit to being curious about that one. Is it a fellow believer in Christ or my own personal worshipper, my status as Mary, Queen of the Universe made official when I wasn't looking?

Ultimately, any one of these Spam emails is designed to play on a person's desire to fill a hole in their soul, a hole which will be filled "if only." If only I can have incredible sex, if only I can get rich quick, if only I had someone who cared about me enough to send me an e-card. These if onlys are sad to me--not because I'm above them, but because I understand them.

(For an enlightening lesson on scammers who use the internet, check out this post by Snoskred. I read it right after hearing about two or three people who've fallen prey to this kind of scheme.)

Everything

I promised over a year ago to post a picture of me wearing my CPAP mask. After all, I showed pictures of me all wired up for my sleep study, why not show me in the mask. Well, I just never got around to it and it is one thing to show yourself wired up from head to toe, it is another (at least in my mind) to show a picture of yourself with something up your nose! Since I am so excited about my CPAP miracle from the last two days, I'm going to throw vanity and caution to the wind and show you a picture of me in my nighttime face garb AND explain the miracle desperate measure.

Are you ready?

Really?

(Why do I feel the same as I might if I were about to bungee jump off a bridge?)

Okay, one, two three... JUMP!


And the miracle measure? This is it:

Two little pieces of medical tape strategically placed on the side straps. Two. little. pieces. Somehow, these little wonders keep me from taking off the mask and turning off the alarm in my sleep. Go figure. Either way, I'm thrilled and hope that my good sleep continues.

If you've got oodles of spare time on your hands are are interested in reading Mary-LUE's Saga of Sleep Apnea, click here, here and here.

So, what about you guys? What have you been up to?