Adrenalin-Induced Insomnia

For the last couple of years I've had trouble with sleeping through the night. Sometimes it's for pretty benign reasons. However, I think I can attribute most of it to grad school. When the pressure is on and I have an assignment due, it keeps me up at night. I usually fall asleep just fine but then wake up around 3 am, unable to get back to sleep until around 6 am. Anyone who's either got a job or kids to take care of or any other normal responsibilities understands that's just no good.

For months now, I haven't had any problems with it. I didn't really think about the fact that I wasn't having my wee hours-wake ups. And then the pressure to get going on my final push for grad school began. Guess what? More insomnia. It's so frustrating.

Today I worked for hours to get the product part of my project ready to email to my advisor. I finished and emailed it at 11:59 pm. (I'd originally promised it on Friday and then repromised it on Monday.) I was glad to get it turned in--just in the nick of time. I considered waiting to send it until tomorrow (TODAY actually) so that I could have someone look over it for me. But Nooooooo, I was getting to anxious to have it in my advisor's inbox. So I sent it.

I had to unwind for awhile so it was about 1 am before I headed off to bed. And then Marley had a nightmare. (Remind not to let her watch any Harry Potter movies for a long, long time.) I had just barely drifted off when she came in to tell me about her bad dream. (David Tennant as Barty Crouch, Jr. was the culprit.) Great. Now I was awake and trying to get back to sleep. What thoughts drifted in my head? A sudden realization that I maybe hadn't explained aspects of my project. Did I really turn in a curriculum handbook that didn't have all the information in the instructor notes? I think I did.

Crap.

Yes, I said CRAP on my blog.

Now I can't get back to sleep. It's 3 am. and I'm surfing the internet, playing Word Challenge on Facebook, exhausted as can be. Sleep just slithers right on by me.

So I reckoned, if I had to suffer through it, you might as well suffer reading about it.

I'm probably going to regret this when I get up--if I ever manage to get to sleep.

Sincerely,

Morose, possibly inept, seriously sleepy, Mary-LUE

A little gibberish...

Well, my most respected fellow blogger, Mel, left me a hint that it was time to get back to blogging. Lent was over a week ago.

I have no eloquent first-post-after-Lent prepared. It's late on Sunday evening. Little Dorrit is on the telly. Mr. Dorrit just told Amy that she couldn't go back to England with him because she wasn't yet presentable. I want to smack that man upside of his head! Poor Amy.

There were so many moments during Lent that I had things I wanted to blog about but now I don't remember them. Of course.

Except for the bit about chimpanzees.

(This may get a little too gruesome for some...)

I've developed something of a thing about chimpanzees. After that woman was attacked in Connecticut, I watched an interview with a couple who had suffered a similar attack in California a few years previous. The man lost the use of his hands and now wears a prosthetic nose. I later read that the woman in Connecticut had lost her hands and that her face was, um, completely disfigured.

So, I put one case together with another case and figured that this is what chimpanzees do when they attack. They destroy your face and hands. I don't even want to look at a chimpanzee now. What a horrible thing to happen to someone.

Anyway...

Life has been busy, busy, busy. I wish that I had pressed myself to focus more on the spiritual during Lent. I guess it was still something that I stuck to my decision not to blog or use Facebook or Twitter. I think I still missed out, though.

I've been interning at the local community college and really enjoying it. I've learned quite a bit, about teaching and being in a professional work environment. I hope to do some more work there next semester.

(Oh gosh. Little Dorrit is killing me. Mr. Dorrit is completely loony about any connections to his past. He doesn't know what to do with himself. Poor John Chivery is still sick with love for Amy. Oh, I hope this all has a happy ending.)

Well, I needed to get something down. Sorry it was so random and bizarre. Tomorrow I hope for a proper Sleeping with Bread post.

Quirks R Us

Tonight I made myself a cup of tea.  The the tea kettle started whistling.  As it did, I realized that I have developed this quirk in my tea making.

Some years ago, I read that when you make tea, it is supposed to be boiling water that you pour over your tea.  The same article said that Americans don't know how to make/serve tea.  The water is never hot enough.

Ever since then, I will not turn off my whistling kettle until my cup is warmed (a whole other quirk) and the tea bag in place.  If I haven't prepared the cup while the water is heating up, I just leave it whistling until I am good and ready.

Now, I know perfectly well that 30 to 60 seconds is not likely to make a difference in the tea. But if I turn it off before the cup is ready, the water won't actually be boiling.  

That's just silly.

What about you?  Care to share a quirk or two?

Sunday Evening Musings

10:37 p.m.

Oy! My back hurts.  I get down and dirty with the housecleaning and dinner making and laundry doing so seldomly that I forget that it is all hard work.  Work makes my back hurt.

About five years ago, Paul and I had a floor refinsher come in and repair and refinish the hard wood floors in our living room and dining room.  (Yes, we rent but it was worth the expense.)  The man we hired was 800 years old... okay, maybe not 800, but he had his contractor's license awarded to him in the late 40's.  FORTIES, the WWII Forties.  

There is a point to this story, albeit an unnecessary one.

So, this ancient floor man, when he got up off of his knees, made a groaning sound like you would not believe.  There is no combination of letters that can represent the sound this man made. It may be a wee bit of exaggeration on my part, but I feel like that groan sounded!  (Pity me, please.)

But enough of my aching back.

It does feel good to get something accomplished.  This is the most productive I've been in a long time. I've had a proper dinner on the table three nights in a row, which, for me, is a major accomplishment.  Marley will actually have a week's work of clean clothes in her dresser when she wakes up tomorrow!  Paul and I have even made a plan for Christmas, when to get out the tree, put up the lights, etc.  (Of course, making a plan and the following it are two very different things.)

In other news, this was the last Sunday that my church held services in their current location. Next week, we meet in a shiny, new, cosier auditorium.  I'm looking forward to it even though I will be working in the nursery and will miss the service.  Still, I'll be in the new nursery.  I hope that everything for the move goes smoothly.  I am actually planning on pitching in with the move (more aching back) unless my school work is screaming at me too much.  

Let's see, what else was I going to tell you?  Oh!  I have been a very bad blog reader this past week or so. I haven't been as good at coming by and worse at commenting with the exception of a few episodes of commentolalia (my term for a comment that just won't shut up.)  I apologize if I have neglected anyone.  I can't even blame it all on school. I think I've just been a one part hormonal, one part introspective and two parts tired.  I was so bad I didn't even comment on the Sleeping with Bread posts linked up at the SWB blog.  That is bad.  Very bad.

I won't promise to be better this week.  It is a holiday week, I do have a lot of school to get done over the break, I am trying to keep my dinner on the table streak going...  Hopefully, though, I will get on over to demonstrate my mad commenting skills.  If you're lucky...  (kidding... just kidding!)

Off to fold that last load of laundry (not the last load to be finished... just the last load to be processed for the day... I have at least five more loads to go!)

Night-night!

23 down, 7 to go (one more week!)

Bonus Post: A LUE Rant

I grew up in the good old days.  Get that?  The. Good. Old. Days.

What were the good old days you might ask?

The days when you put TWO SPACES between sentences when you typed them on a typewriter on a word processor.

Sometime in the last year, Blogger has decided to go all one-space on me.  Which is fine.  Except it is not fine because I keep getting these off-kilter lines in my published posts. (Do you see that?) And because it is one of about, oh let's say, TWO things that I am obssessive about, I have to go back and fix them and then republish.  I have to.

Arghhh!!!  How am I supposed to work against years and years of punctuation indoctrination?

What's next?  no capitals at the beginning of sentences?  anything goes sentence enders; are we to become an ee cummings world/

The madness has got to stop.

The Readers Have Spoken...

(edited to include a post link)

...but I still haven't made up my mind.

The poll results were pretty much split down the middle, so I guess at least that is validation that this isn't an easy decision to make.

While I was waiting to meet with my grad advisor, I ended up speaking with a professor who is going to be on my project committee.  She suggested taking the research class and using the key project for that class, a lit review, as my review for the project.

Then I met with my advisor who said that the type of review in that class isn't the type of review I need for my project and that the timing might not work.  The research class paper is due toward the end of the semester, but the lit review of my project will be due my mid-March.

See, even my professors can't agree!

I did talk more with professor number one and she did have a good idea for me for my tutoring class.  Instead of working with the wee ones (elementary), I can do an independent study version at a community college.  This would be in addition to the internship I am doing, but it would be more experience AND a professional reference.  The reference is important because I need four references to graduate, two professorial and two professional.  Because I don't currently work in the field, I am a little stymied in that area.  This will fulfill multiple obligations for me.

Thinking about doing work on two different community college campuses (it can't be at the same one) and writing my project has me reconsidering the extra class.  Professor One--who I tell you is so full of insight and behind-the-scenes information--told me she can get me into a cohort with the reading department.  A cohort is a group of teachers who are all going through the program together off site.  The class would be online, but it would be all reading students and taught by a teacher who works well with the reading department.  I think that might be nice.

Thank you all for your input.  It isn't possible to work ahead in the research class, but if I work ahead on the project during the winter break, it would make taking the extra class more possible.  I do need to balance how the family will be affected and not just my own desire to finish.  If I wait, it will only make seven weeks difference.  One week in between the end of the semester and the start of summer school and then six weeks of summer school.  I will finish the first week of July and still have about five weeks off before work begins.  

So, at this point, I haven't officially decided but am not going to register for the class right now. If Professor One can get me into a cohort for the spring AND I make some good progress on my project in the meantime, maybe I will take the class.  By delaying, I'll have a better feel for how I am feeling physically, etc.

I was going to talk about other stuff today, but felt like I should follow up with the school thing.  I've been having some insomnia, which is a common occurrence during a certain time of the month.  I also have insomnia when there is anything on my mind.  This past week, the disharmonic convergence of both hormones and issues has kept me up some nights.  In the middle of the night, when I am tossing and turning, I am brilliantly eloquent and can think of all sorts of wonderful ways to communicate what I am thinking and feeling.  In the morning?  Not so much.

Will I ever end up writing about it?  I don't know.  I think I am feeling uncomfortable with some of the "discussions" going on in the blog'verse these days.  With all the talk about California and Proposition 8, there has been some language used that I am saddened about.  People are talking about hate and being clever and passionate and emphatic and talking about love and then going on to say that people who voted for Proposition 8 are hateful, unfeeling, unthinking, illogical people.  It is frustrating for me.  Regardless of your position on the issue of same sex marriage and homosexuality, dialog is not encouraged by painting a portrait of so many people with just a few broad strokes.  It does not do credit to either side--at least not to me.  I can only speak for myself.

I did have one very positive experience at one blog friend's place.  I took a chance and stated my thoughts on the issue and she responded wonderfully.  Did I change her mind?  I doubt it.  I wasn't really trying to.  I just wanted to share a different perspective.  Thankfully, she listened, asked some questions and then listened some more.  To my friend: Thank you.  I can't tell you how wonderful that was. 

My insomnia, though, is linked to more than just political issues.  It is also linked to past situations, unresolved relationships.  What the past and politics has in common for me though is the feelings that come up.  I feel silenced--by my own fears and desire to avoid conflict, by the knowledge that sometimes speaking up is not the right thing to do, by my belief that sometimes it just won't do any good.

Can you believe that the personal part of all this is coming up because of Facebook? I keep getting these "You might know so-and-so" messages.  So-and-so's I have issues with.  So-and-so's I never got to have my say with.  I am also reading parts of conversations between people I know and the people they know.  Sometimes those wall-to-wall conversations talk about things that make me angry--or sad--or whatever.  These people are not doing anything wrong. Because of Facebook's open forum, I am eavesdropping in a way.  It has just made me realize how much I have just moved on without thoroughly processing.  There will never be perfect understanding and reconciliation, but I have a responsibility to myself to deal with my feelings. (Kind of sucks, but that's the way it is.)

On a more positive note, here is one man's blog project that I appreciate:

from52to48withlove 

Until tomorrow,

12 down, 18 to go

Saturday Miscellany

One day in November...  ONE day in November, I will post something thought-provoking and extremely well-written.

This is not that day.  (I think that's a quote from a movie, but I can't remember which.  Any ideas? Ooo, I remember now.  Aragon makes a speech before the big battle in The Return of the King.)

Today, I have one hour and one minute to get my post in.  I've been procrastinating.  Well, not really procrastinating.  Procrastinating is what I do every day when I manage to put off school work.  I am like the proverbial teen who keeps getting reminded by her mother to clean up her room.  

"I know, Mom!  I've got plenty of time.  I'll get it done.  Gosh, get off my back!"  

Only I'm both the teenager AND the mom.  I think the mom needs to get crackin' with the corporal punishment.  The teenager is out of control.

ANYWAY...

The reason this post isn't officially procrastinated is because I was actually doing worthwhile things (most of the time).  Marley and I ate breakfast with Paul--he did a lovely job of fetching chicken-fried steak, hash browns, and sourdough toast--and we watched the first episode of Crusoe online.  Later, I took her to gymnastics, took her to Target to buy Disney's Scene It 2, fetched dinner, played Scene It, and cuddled on the couch while waiting for Daddy to come home.

Marley has been very affectionate lately and has wanted me more than Paul.  Mommy is better at going to gymnastics (because she knows what is going on). Mommy is better at reading prayers (who knows why).  It is really quite nice, except when her internal settings have been turned to "Ricochet Off the Walls and Be Very, Very Loud for Hours at a Time."  Paul and I should record it sometime because it is quite the sight (and sound).  

In other Saturday news:

1. Colin received his first offer for a platinum Visa today.  Seriously.  What list is he on that doesn't recognize he is a junior in high school?  I feel like having Paul call up and pretend to be Colin to see if he would actually get the pre-approved card.  Of course, the worst insult would be if he got a higher credit balance than Paul and I have!
2. I've been Facebooking a lot lately.  I'd had an account for ages and then some friends started.  Now, you can find practically hourly updates from me.  I noticed something in the last few days, though and I have some advice for single people.  Don't put your relationship status on Facebook.  Twice in the last few days, I have gotten the update--noted with a little, pink, broken heart--that So-n-So is no longer in a relationship.  I don't know, I just think that is sad.  As much as I run on and on online, I'm not sure that I would want people to find out about a break up that way.  I guess that is one more reason for Paul and I to never get a divorce--so I won't have to change my marital status on Facebook.  (Got that, Paul?  No divorce--if only for that reason.)
3. That Crusoe show is pretty awesome.  I wonder about myself sometimes.  I think I am one part teenage boy.  I love sci-fi and comic book heroes, and now, Crusoe.  Of course, I'm wondering if the actual demographic for that show isn't actually middle-aged men.  I say that because while watching the show online, the one commercial repeated during the playback was for Viagra.  "Help this couple find their way to happiness."  I think I'll let that couple find their own way to happiness.
4. I'm still conducting my Twitter experiment.  The good thing is, it allows for a different glimpse of my blogging friends.  The bad news is, the "conversations" are very disjointed.  There is some back and forth, but it is just a little strange.  I don't know.  I'll keep at it for a couple more weeks and see what happens.
5. I spent some time watching clips of one of my new favorite shows: The Chocolate News.  David Alan Grier is simply a genious.  I've always enjoyed him, especially in his collaborations with Bonnie Hunt.  On the premier episode, he did an impersonation of Maya Angelou that makes me laugh whenever I think about it.  In fact, I saw Maya Angelou being interviewed a few days later and I burst out laughing.  It is on Comedy Central and has that cable edge, so if you watch it, keep the kids out of the room.  I can guarantee you something inappropriate for children will pop up.
   

Well, 30 minutes to spare!  Goodnight everybody!

8 down, 22 to go

100 Things: An Update

This may be considered cheating, but for tonight's NaBloPoMo post, I am bringing out my 100 Things post from a couple of years ago.  I am making a few updates and will provide a little commentary, thus qualifying this as a new post and not just a republish.

Without further adieu, Mary-LUE's 100 Things about me list.  (In case you are newish to the blogosphere, these lists were quite popular a couple of years ago.)  Changes from the old list will be marked in bold print.

1. I am terrified of earthquakes, tornadoes, any other natural disaster or any man-made disaster.
2. I am afraid to fly but will do it. (The last couple of trips, Xanax has been my flying companion.)
3. I am left-handed. Go southpaws!
4. I am a child of divorce.
5. I grew up watching soap operas with my grandma: Ryan's Hope, All My Children, As the World Turns, The Guiding Light.
6. I grew up reading Harlequin Romances. Sometimes they were the only thing around to read. My mom, grandma and aunts used to show up for family gatherings with grocery bags full of them to swap.
7. I love sci-fi but would probably be considered a lightweight by real sci-fi fans.
8. I love to read.
9. I am 43 (blech!) years old.  Soon to be 44 (gulp!).  I find that this journey into my mid-40s is not all that exciting.  
10. I was born on Thanksgiving Day 1964.
11. I was born in Oklahoma but raised in California.
12. I have two kids.
13. I have one husband, that is, I'm still on my first!
14. I received a BA in Literary Studies in 1990.  (Lord willing, I'll receive my M.S. in 2009.)
15. I am a complete and utter slob. Really. Fortunately, my friends love me anyway.
16. I am a moderate extravert.
17. I am intuitive.
18. I am more of a feeler than a thinker, but just barely.
19. I am very, very unstructured.
20. If I had to pick a pretend celebrity boyfriend, it would have to be either Daniel Day Lewis or Gabriel Byrne. Hugh Laurie (House era) would do in a pinch.  (I've reached a stage in my life where I don't think I want to "date" one celebrity.  I think I'd like to keep my options open.)
21. I was once dubbed "the Sage" by a man who later refused to listen to any wisdom I had to share with him.
22. I am a very good friend.
23. I am a former idealist.
24. I am a reluctant pragmatist.
25. I loved drawing when I was younger.
26. My career as an actress was killed before it began by a high school drama teacher who described me as mousy.
27. I use more words in a day than the average person.
28. I am a backwards perfectionist. If I'm not sure I can do something, I'd rather not try it at all than try and fail. How sad is that?
29. I have the best friends a person could have.
30. I am too much of a generalist for this list-making to come easily.
31. I felt homely as a child.
32. I felt invisible as a teenager.
33. I got along better with guys than girls until I was a "grup."
34. I know where the word grup comes from. Do you?
35. I knew Rock Hudson was gay years and years before it came out in the news. My source? My mom and grandma. Don't ask me how they knew.
36. I think Martin Short's impersonation of Montgomery Clift in the movie Cross My Heart is one of the funniest moments ever.
37. I love old movies.
38. I tend to think in metaphors.
39. I never lived with my father.
40. I have a half-brother I've never met just met this year.
41. I had one brother who died of ALS.
42. I have one sister.
43. I love dogs.
44. I am making do with two guinea pigs living without... for now.
45. I am married to a guitar guy.
46. As a child, I used to have nightmares about the sun going out.
47. As a child, I was allowed to watch too many episodes of The Outer Limits, The Night Gallery and The Sixth Sense.
48. I am related to two 30's era criminals on my mother's side.
49. I am related to famous Civil War era outlaws on my father's side.
50. I can't believe I'm only up to 50 on this list.
51. I watch too much TV.
52. I am now on the computer too much. Thank you blogosphere.
53. I love giving presents.
54. I think I am a hard person to buy for.
55. When inspiration strikes, I give the best presents.
56. When I am not inspired: gift cards or candles.
57. I have come a long way, baby, but am still too insecure.
58. I yell at my kids too much--but not as much as I used to.
59. My kids yell at me too much--but not as much as they used to.
60. I do not like being the center of attention.
61. I used to cry whenever poignant dad moments were shown on TV or in a movie.
62. My grandpa died in 1990; my brother died in 1995; my grandma died in 1996; my aunt died in 1999; my uncle died in 2004.
63. I think death sucks.
64. I am more like the grasshopper than the ant.
65. I like it to be between 65 and 78 degrees. Any cooler or hotter and I am cranky!
66. I am beginning to go gray.
67. I had way too many sunburns as a child, blisters and all, to not think about the possibility of skin cancer.  (Since writing this two years ago, my dermatologist has made his opinion clear: check ups every three months and cover myself head to toe when I go out.)
68. My son (a rabid teenager) when asked to contribute to this list said that I am a control freak, communist, Nazi, social-life killer who is trying to starve him to death. (I love you, too, honey.)  (I'm too smart to ask him this question again!)
69. I think being a mom is the hardest thing I have ever done or ever will do.
70. I didn't marry a "father type." Thank God.
71. I'm not good with money.
72. My husband would be good with money if he weren't married to me.
73. I used to have excellent grammar skills. Ah, the good old days.
74. I love stories.
75. I know have forgotten what persiflage means.  I'll have to go look it up on one of my favorite websites:  Dictionary.com.
76. I have jokingly considered getting a tatto but probably never will.
77. I love Fred Astaire's version of "The Way You Look Tonight."
78. I can't understand when people read only non-fiction. How is that possible?
79. I have a problem with my pride.
80. Vulnerability is not my strong suit.
81. It took getting married for me to be able to deal with a lot of the emotional baggage in my life. Poor Paul!
82. I like having painted toenails.
83. I hate having painted fingernails.
84. I almost never have all my bases covered, cosmetically speaking. I never make it out the door with lipstick, earrings, etc. I am just not good at doing the "girl" thing.
85. Oh wait. I had a good one but I forgot it. I guess I'm more absent-minded than I used to be.
86. I am currently wondering how people do these lists.
87. I hate conflict and will avoid it whenver possible.
88. I'm not good at finishing things I've started. . . but I will finish this list.
89. I have a deep rebellious streak.
90. I have zero athletic ability.
91. I tell the same stories over and over again.
92. I am a Christian. (Should I have mentioned that sooner?)
93. My favorite worship songs were written by my husband and my friend, Tamila.
94. I cannot stand John Lennon's song Imagine. I think it has the stupidest lyrics EVER.
95. If I go to a sad movie with people, I might shed a few tears. If I go alone, I will really cry. Exception: Winona Ryder version of Little Women. I went with a bunch of women to go see that and when Beth died, I sobbed.
96. I like the idea of gardening but not the real work of it.
97. I don't know what I want to be when I grow up.
98. Chocolate is a necessity, not an option.
99. There can never be enough ice in my soda.
100. I am newly addicted a veteran addict of the sci-fi show Firefly.

As I did the first time I published this list.  I make this offer:  if you have any questions or want me to elaborate on any item on this list, let me know.  (It will give me more posts for NaBloPoMo!)

7 down, 23 to go

Sunday

Two years ago, when I participated in NaBloPoMo, one "rule" I had was not to write posts obsessing about Nablopomo and going on and on about what I should write.

I'd like to keep that rule again this time.  After tonight. ;)

It has been a busy day--well, sort of.  Even with the blessing of an extra hour of sleep, I stayed up too late.  The day included working in the nursery, lunch out with some friends, avoiding school work, actually doing school work, reading with Marley, surviving Marley ricocheting off the walls for about 90 minutes before her bedtime, more school work.

Now my head is aching a little, I'm a little stuffed up from allergies, and I have one hour and 21 minutes to write a post.  Which I can do.  Whether or not it will be any good is another story.  I headed over to a couple of meme directories to look for something.  Those saved me during my last NaBloPoMo.  Nothing caught my interest tonight, though.

(Subspace Beacon may be regretting her "Yeah, 30 days of Mary" comment from yesterday!)

So, here I lay (in bed) with nothing to "talk" about, except a few impressions of my day...

...working in the nursery.  There were three babies today.  One little girl with cheeks and thighs like you would not believe.  One little boy who is normally our sympathetic cryer.  If you are crying, he's right there with you. Thankfully, he did not join in today with our one little one who was not happy to be with us.  Sometimes I am wiped out after 90 minutes in the nursery but I usually love hanging out with the wee ones.  I am also grateful for being past the stage where mine are that tiny!

...listening to Marley and her friends play.  After church we brought home Marley's BFF and her sister.  It isn't uncommon for us to have the sister over, but not as a "play date."  I was shocked when all three girls lined up in front of me and asked to come over.  They have a history of fractious behavior when it is the three of them.  They did so well, though.  I was pleased--shocked, but pleased.  I heard a few tussles, but they managed to work it out between them.  How awesome is that?  All those years of parental lectures paying off!

...getting a phone call from a long, lost friend.  I had a friend from elementary school through high school and a little beyond.  We lost touch with each other, but I've always kept an eye out for her on Classmates.com and now on Facebook.  I just checked for her a couple of weeks ago and she still wasn't there.  Last week, I checked again and there she was!  I added her as a friend and we emailed each other.  This afternoon as I was pretending to study, she called.  It has been over 20 years since we had talked, so we had plenty to catch up on.  It was great.  I look forward to talking with her again.

...sharing books and DVDs with a friend.  A friend from church is going to be spending some time off her feet and it was a great opportunity to share some of my favorite books and DVDs.  I hope she likes them!  There's enough costume drama in that bag to equal a few months of Masterpiece Theater!  (Cranford, North and South, Wives and Daughters, Pride and Prejudice and more!)

...collapsing into bed thinking about all I have to do tomorrow.  I meet with my grad advisor with a whole laundry list of topics to cover in addition to my usual Monday Madness.  I better get to bed!

See you tomorrow.

2 down, 28 to go

LUE Blog Bits and Bobs

I will be writing a Sleeping with Bread post later tonight, but first I have a few odds and ends to tidy up.

I ran my first poll over the last week.  An astounding seven responses!  Who knew?  In answer to the question of how a blogger should respond to comments, it is a tie!  What a relief.  Since I get to be the tie breaker, I vote for replying in the comments.  Now I don't have to figure out how to get a skywriter to reply in all parts of the U.S. and some of Canada.  I don't think I have the budget for that.

Stay tuned for new, even more thrilling polls.

I am somewhat regretting my last post.  Do they have Blog Goggles?  Do you know that mail thing you can set up for gmail now?  When you try to send an email at times you designate, it gives you a sobriety test.  If you fail, it won't send the email.  I wasn't drunk when I wrote that post, but I should have known better than to post anything political so close to the election.  I had to delete one nasty, nasty anonymous comment... and well, it is just frustrating.  I wasn't trying to promote McCain or Obama and I don't want to have that conversation here... so I just should have said nothing.

I should have forced myself into that sensibility armor after all.

In completely unrelated news, all my word verifications that I have come across today are decodable.  By that, I mean I can "read" them. Granted, they are nonsense words, but still.  Isn't that wierd?  Here are the words:  Tableche, Evilis, Pesse, Polsan, Caila, Pines (that's an actual word!)  Is the universe sending me a message?  I don't know.

I think that is it.  I'm off to the real world now.  Like I said, I will be back late this evening with my bread post.  In the meantime, have a great day!

Posting Under the Influence. . .

. . . of a migraine hangover.  And yes, that is a real term, too.  Also known as migraine postdrome. 

Anyway, I am better today, but yes, still feeling fatigued, irritable, emotional, etc.

So. . . remember that when you read the following:

I DON'T CARE IF ANGELINA JOLIE IS BREASTFEEDING ON THE MOST RECENT COVER OF W MAGAZINE!!!!!!!

What is really laughable is that because the picture is incredibly discreet, all people can say is that she is apparently breastfeeding.  Apparently.

This is not news.

It might have been news 50 years ago.  A woman breastfeeding on the cover of a magazine.  It should not be news today... especially because you can't see anything!!!!

I am an old fogie.

I was watching an old Steve McQueen movie today. Bullitt. 1968. As I watched Mr. McQueen muscle car his way around San Francisco, I was reminded of how different my life was growing up from what my children experience.

There were no fax machines. In the movie, they had an old machine that hooked up to a phone and took forever and was huge and has this big spinning drum for getting copies.

There were no ATMs. As the two detectives in the movie search a woman's matching pink leather travel cases, they find traveler's checks. Traveler's checks? I had forgotten all about them. You didn't go visit another state without those. It was one more thing to add to your check list of things to do before you could leave on vacation.

All the women wore hats. Now, I don't really remember a time when the women all wore hats. I was too young. However, when I was little, women wore hats all the time when they went out and everyone dressed up to get on a plane. You wore your Sunday best. Now, you wear whatever you want.

Apparently--and I'll have to compare my recent experience with planes with the plane shown in the film--there was enough aisle room for two people to walk past each other without scooting into a row of seats!!!! That is just too mind blowing for me to imagine. There was Stevie boy, inching his way closer to the bad guy through an entire plane load of passengers going the opposite direction. I think my jaw actually dropped when I saw that one.

And of course, being the good old days, anyone and everyone could just waltz around the airport and on to airplanes with their concealed weapons. Yikes! No X-ray machines, no security lines. Just masses of dressed up people filing into spacious planes potentially carrying guns.

I don't really know the point of this post. It's not like I want to go back to the days of traveler's checks and start wearing pill box hats with matching purses. It was just a huge reminder of how much life has changed in the last 40 years and how much I just take it for granted--and how much at a loss my kids would be if they got magically transported to 1968.

****************************************

P.S. On a completely unrelated note, I embarassed myself the other day by not realizing ALL DAY LONG that I was wearing my bra inside out. How is that possible?

Cue Also Sprach Zarathustra...

How's that for a reference? Am I erudite or what?

Actually, I had to call my husband in and ask him, "Is there a name for that music from 2001 Space Odyssey? Not the Blue Danube 'duh duh duh DUH DUH-DUH-DUH' one. The dum, dum, dum, DUMDUM!!!!! one."

Without a moment's hesitation, he said, "Yes. Also sprach zarathustra."

I am duly impressed.

So here I am. My online final was finished around 1:30 p.m. I was less than pleased with it. Not because I don't think I did well. No, my study guide said that we would have 45-50 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer. My actual final had 4 multiple choice questions, 2 matching, and 4 essays. Arghhh!!!! I don't like surprises with school--unless of course, it is, "Surprise! You don't have to take the test!"

I am now beginning Mission-Make-Up-For-Months-Of-Neglect. I took Marley and her friend to the local craft store and bought hats and tote bags and fabric paint. I had iron-on transfers at home, took a picture of the girls, made an iron-on transfer, and then let them decorate with the fabric paint.



You can't see the cute picture, which is on the other side of the tote bag. The girls are thrilled. (I'm glad neatness doesn't count in homemade projects!)

For He Who Wishes Not To Be Named, it was as simple as letting him and his friends light illegal fireworks in the backyard tonight. Our town has a No Fireworks policy.

For myself, well, what I should be doing is going out for a walk. I haven't exercised in months and, oh! do I feel it! I should also be eating better, using my CPAP machine, taking my vitamins, cleaning the house, spending time with my husband. The list. It goes on and on.

But at least I'm blogging, right? Blogging is very, very important. For the next few weeks (see ticker below), I am hoping to write every few days and visit others daily. We will be going on vacation in a few days, but we will have two laptops with us. (I know, I know. What an extravagance!) We even have Verizon wireless and so I can blog from the interstate if I want. Blogging from the interstate may not consist of more than "I hate traveling. I'm hot! My kids are fighting! When are we going to get there?!!!" I'll try not to do that to y'all.

So. I'll be back in the next few days. Officially, my first post back was to be dedicated to atypical. I don't know if this one qualifies. It is such a ramble. I'll keep working on it.

In the meantime, come and by and say hello. Let me know how you've been, what's new, etc. I can't promise I'll be going back and reading too many old posts, but I'll try to keep up from here.

Love you all. Missed you all!

Mary-LUE

Things I might be writing about in the next few weeks:

My Stellar Academic Career
Vacation, OK and TX style
Family News: long, lost family, drama with a trust -- STAY TUNED!
What I'm (not) reading
The Artichoke of Great Neglect
A New Car!!!!
Spiritual Life, What Spiritual Life?

I have no idea what to write about...

...but I have a little time on my hands and nothing due tomorrow. (Whoopee!)


The last couple of days I've seen this woman. She is sooooooo tan that she looks abnormal. Do you remember the butter tan from Seinfeld? Kramer starts using butter to tan with and he gets so brown and toasty and Newman hallucinates that he's a giant roast chicken.

Well, she looks like that except without the golden hue. She cold give George Hamilton a run for his money.



Actually, she looks darker than this picture.

I just don't understand the appeal of being that tan.

Of course, she could be somewhere right now typing a post about this woman she's seen the last two days with wet hair, a shirt that doesn't fit, and no makeup. She might be typing right now that she doesn't understand how someone could let themselves go out in public looking like that.

That would be ironic, wouldn't it?

Ground Control to Major Tom...

commencing countdown, engines on...

I don't know why but this song popped into my head as I decided to do a quick post in the midst of two online class assignments.

I guess there is only so much analysis of the sociocultural context of literacy and learning using J.P. Gee's six contexts (cognitive, social, cultural, historical, institutional, linguistic) in regards to African American students and Chinese American students that a girl can do. . .

on Valentine's day!

And I still have the 30-year journey of literacy from a linguistic, psycholinguistic, cognitive psychology, and sociolinguistic perspectives.

Woo woo!

I do know more than I ever thought I would about the morphosyllabic nature of the Chinese writing system (not a logographic one as is commonly thought) and how it differs significantly from our phonemic alphabetic one.

I also know that the Chinese language is congruent with the Base 10 mathmatic system and that English is not.

I should probably stop before you all die of excitement and interest, shouldn't I?

At the risk of sounding like The Boy Who Cried Wolf, I am fairly scared over the amount of work I will have to do this semester. It will be much worse than last semester. Truly. Of course, in the face of so much reading, analysis, research preparation, etc., what am I spending too much time doing? Reading for pleasure.

I am procrastinator extraordinaire. I could compete in the Olympics of Procrastination and Time Wasting. I would win every gold medal.

Oh well, Marley is dressed up as a giant blue M & M and is bouncing off the walls. Paul is making dinner and Colin is making brownies. And the literacy journey awaits.

I just wanted to say hello.

Hello!

Quick Bread

If I don't do this now, it might not get done at all, so here is the Bisquick version of my end of '07, beginning of '08 Sleeping with Bread post.

2007...

...was at times disappointing. Usually, the disappointment had to do with people. Go figure. If you've been hanging out in my universe for very long you know I love God and His church. However, His church (the people, not the buildings) can be headstrong, stubborn, given to fits of silliness, and just plain frustrating. Thank goodness He loves us anyway.

...was at times typical. I started last year with great intentions for my health, physical and spiritual. I ended it with the equivalent of one of those horrific pratfalls that makes you want to laugh and cry for a person all at the same time. The spiritual practices and physical exercise I was so diligent at for the first few months of '07 were nowhere to be found by the end.

...was at times exhilarating. I started school, was scared to death--as evidenced by much gastro-intestinal distress and disrupted sleep, juggled too many balls but came through it all with quite a nice result. I met some new, lovely people, figured out exactly what this Master's in Reading Education actually is and figured out a) that I think I'm going to be good at what I want to do and b) that I really like it.

For 2008...

...I hope to me more disciplined. With three classes and the usual commitments, I know I will not be Miss Perfect Exerciser or Miss Never-Miss-A-Prayer time. However, I hope to incorporate good practices, on all levels, more often than not. My life (and my family's lives) are much better off when I am eating right, exercising, and spending meaningful time in spiritual pursuits.

...I hope to continue to do well in school. This will require more of the discipline mentioned above. Oy! I almost laughed out loud as I typed that. I'm such an undisciplined person. This will be interesting.

...Ultimately, for all the challenges that 2007 brought, I wouldn't mind feeling overall about 2008 as I do about 2007: that it was a year in which I did good but could do better. I had dubbed 2007 as The Year of Restraint. While I still need to work on all the things I listed in last year's Resolutions post, I would be content to look forward to 2009 having shown some restraint and discipline but feeling as if I was able to enjoy life along the way.

The Year of Just Being...

being Mary-LUE

being Mom

being Wife and Partner

being Friend

being Daughter

being Student

Being.

Year End Contemplations - Of a Mostly Bookish Nature

I will probably do a proper year-end Sleeping with Bread post sometime in the next few days; however, I thought I'd get the blog-posting juices flowing with some meandering thoughts. Maybe if I just start writing, without worrying about creativity and cleverness, something creative and clever will start coming out eventually!

First things first... some sidebar info:

New Scenic View - a little British Comic Relief wit Catherine Tate and David Tennant.

A New Quote - from atypical brat's progeny

I also just updated my sidebar with books I've been reading. It looks like I finished about 28 books for the year. I suspect that is a middling average number. I look at the list and some of the books seem like they were read ages ago. I see that I read fewer and fewer books toward the end of the year. (School of course). I can see that the last few books of this year have been what my husband might call "light and fluffy." (You have to hear him say light and fluffy in his silly accented way to get the full impact.) In general, I have been all about romance and period dramas, not just in books, in viewing as well--from two versions of Pride and Prejudice, two versions of Jane Eyre (I don't care what anyone else says, Charlotte Gainsbourg is a stellar Jane and William Hurt, although physically not the type and a wee bit too long in the tooth, a heavyweight contender for Rochester.), Wives and Daughters, North and South, and moving into the 20th century, but still a period drama, Foyle's War. I'm just finished with Series 2. Thanks goodness for Netflix. I love Michael Kitchen.

As the year ended, I also got sucked into the vortex of some 19th century inspired fan fiction. (Imagine me cringing a little here as I write this.) It has been a lot of fun. There is a lot of really bad stuff out there. Many uses of the words frisson, tendrils, ministrations, ambit, etc. Some of it has been quite nice, though. It has been a way of staying in a well-loved story and imagining what happened next to Jane and Rochester or Margaret and John. Through the fan fiction board, I also became acquainted with a fan fic writer who ended up getting a publishing contract. Two of her books have been published so far. You'll notice More Than Love Letters in my sidebar by Rosy Thornton. I haven't read her second book yet, but MTLL was a fun romantic comedy written in the form of emails, meeting minutes, etc. There are some laugh-out-loud moments and I actually got a little teary at the end. Rosy and I have engaged in a little of our own email correspondence and it has been a treat to e-meet an author. (Hi Rosy!)

Back to books... I realized as I was looking over the book list that there are many books which I have bought this year but have not yet read. I think in 2008, I will convert my book list to show books bought AND read--that will be interesting.

Well, this post is getting long. There is more to contemplate than my reading habits for the year. I find that Christmas and New Year is a time I spend thinking about my Uncle L.T. I also made some resolutions for myself last year. Resolutions I failed at meeting. Utterly failed at meeting. But I also experienced a lot I didn't expect to. There is definitely alot of yeast for that Sleeping with Bread post I have rising, ready to bake.


Well, this post did some meandering but I don't see much in the way of creative or cliver--maybe next time! ;)

November update with lots of () and ...

Wow! I can't believe I haven't posted since the day after Halloween! I think that is definitely the longest bit of time between posts on this blog. I am a little chagrined to think of all the time I spent bemoaning how little time I would have for blogging when I started school. I actually managed somewhat nicely until November. Multiple papers, out-of-town visitors, etc. conspired to finally knock the wind out of my blogging sails. My Google reader regulary informs me there are as many as 180 posts to read. 180 posts??!!!! I periodically hit "Mark All As Read" and move on.

School is slowing down though. I have: one paper to write this week (reporting on my teaching of a reading comprehension strategy to three students); one Power Point presentation showing a lesson plan which incorporates technology in the classroom (Guess what? My lesson involves blogging!); four chapters from my content area literacy book; and, one online response project. That's it. After those few assignments I will have completed my first semester of grad school. Yeah me! (And, of course, yeah! Paul, Marley and Colin for having to live through it!)

Marley Update: I've had many people ask my about Marley. I pretty much left everyone with a Strep Throat cliff hanger. She perked up within a couple of days of being on her antibiotics and has been fine ever since. I has some apprehension because about day 7 of her medication she went on strike and refused to take the pills. We got one or two more in her after that and I intended to call the doctor to either get his okay to stop or a prescription for some liquid meds to finish her out. Of course, I became distracted and never got that call made. She hasn't had a relapse and it has been a few weeks, so I think we are out of the woods on this one.

Other than that, life is, you know, what you might expect. Paul is gearing up to hit the road after being home for weeks (lovely, lovely weeks). Colin prepares for his driver's license permit and behind-the-wheel driver's education. (Theoretically I am happy for him and ready for him to drive. Seeing as how he has not actually driven a car yet, it remains to be seen if my theoretical acceptance will translate into actual acceptance that my baby...sniff... boy... sniff... is DRIVING!!!!

Oh yes, life-wise, tomorrow, 11/26, is my birthday. 43. In spite of all the good things going on in my life, I face 43 with less enthusiam than 42. I can't say why. I know I've enjoyed being an age that equates to the Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything. What does a has-been Ultimate Answer do when she leaves that magical number behind? I guess we'll find out this year.

There is so much more to blog...

• I never got to finishing BubandPie's tag of five influential books...
• I've been on a period costume drama DVD binge: both Pride and Prejudices (Firth vs. MacFadyen: I have my definitive fave, but at the risk of an all out Darcy War, I will remain silent as to my preference), Wives and Daughters, North and South (again!)...
• I've also been reading all those books (as ebooks of all things).
• School! I've learned so much about content area literacy and adult developmental education. I am enjoying what I'm learning and am excited to share some of it here...
• Sleeping with Bread. I've not baked my bread of gratitude here for such a long time, yet there is so much to be thankful for...
• In January, Paul and I will celebrate 20 years of marriage... so much to blog about that!

I've missed the companionship I get in the blogosphere. I wish I could have kept up with everyone and kept everyone up-to-speed. But well, isn't there some saying about wishes?

School is winding down... I'll get back in the swing of things. At least until January 18th when my spring semester starts and I am taking 9 units. (9? Oy!)

In the meantime, I leave you with this poem... just because I like it:

There Is A River by S.A. Griffen

there is a cheerful ignorance

a chance meeting and

luck like gold that cannot be

mined or stolen
a common atom
a dance
and stars that trick the

water with their

certain magic
do not wash your wars in it

take your holy rituals to the

precious fountains built by your

agencies of fear
press your

wine from the fallout

and drink victory
for yes
there is a river

a giving river that will

sing you safely
a river of

light
final

fast

and

free
where you can

disrobe

and leave your casual sadness

walking sideways at the

shore
meet me there

whoever you are

and we will agree to

swim it

together

So much life, so lttle time to blog...

Life has been busy. This news is no surprise as I've been droning on and on about it for weeks and weeks.

It's good, but it doesn't allow for much bloggy relationship building.

So, here are a few bullet points:

Izzy the Incredible just did a blog makeover for me at my family blog: So Cal Cinema. Check it out when you have a chance. It is very retro and fun and just my style.

While I still have a lot to do for school, my first ginormous paper is turned in. I don't know what grade I'll get, but I'm getting to the point where an assignment is not inducing quite so much intestinal distress. I'm proud of the preparation and work I did on the paper and I hope the teacher appreciates it, too!

There's been no time to bake up a Sleeping with Bread post, but I did make a cake from a mix and my daughter says I am the best cook ever. (Oh! How low the standards of a seven year-old!)

I'd love to start a series based on my Surprised by Waltzing post. I got the idea after watching Superman: Doomsday with Marley. (Slightly inappropriate at times, I have to say.) In the special features of this recently released animated movie, the decision to kill Superman in the comics and how they brought him back to life elicited that feeling of joy in me which I described in the waltzing post. The community of the team working on it moved me. The emotional involvement the artists and writers still feel is incredible. There are a couple of occasions where they are moved to tears as they describe scenes from the comics. Tears formed in my own eyes as I watched. You never can tell when joy is going to jump up and get your attention.

As if there were any need to confirm my geek status, I watched Transformers the Movie... and of course, I loved it. Optimus Prime is the coolest AutoBot ever!

Fires are raging -- all around us here in So Cal. We are literally ringed with fires to the North, South and West of us... probably to the East as well but I'd have to look it up to be exact. There are other parts of the country where you experience the smell of fire entwined completely with the air and ash adrift on the wind. I don't know how many places, though, experience this once to twice a year. This is a particularly bad batch of fires. At least one area is burning thanks to the sick minds of one or more arsonists. This is also the first time that I know someone who had to evacuate. Fortunately it was just for a few hours. The wind was so fierce last night that we lost a portion of the fence and some shades. A neighbor lost a tree. People are encouraged to stay inside and use the recirculate function on their air conditioning units.

It is definitely Fall in So Cal.