As much as I have been self-conscious about being too obviously NaBloPoMoing it in my posts, today I can't muster the mental energy to pretend. My creative juices have ebbed and there isn't anything new to flow into this blogging adventure. Now that I've justified the title of this post, let's move on with one of those posts. You know what I mean, the I-need-to-write-but-am-not-currently-coherent pieces that we forgive on a occasional basis but had better not be the narcissistic foundation of a good blog.
Part of my namby-pamby posting today is due to my lack of sufficient sleep last night. My rosy perspective from Monday was found tried and wanting this morning as I attempted to get Marley ready for school. I know better. I know better than to try to expect total cooperation on a day that Paul is out of town, I haven't slept enough, she woke up before 6 a.m. and I want to get us all out the door in 20 minutes. Of course that is when she will be too cold to move, won't cooperate with getting her socks and shoes on and refuses to flush the toilet. Of course that is also when I will throw all patience to the wind and raise my voice, stomp around and throw up my hands in frustration. I saw a ticker on someone's blog today while I was doing a little NaBloPoMo randomizing. It listed the number of days since this mom had raised her voice. 22 days. Wow! Whatever the number of days since I raised my voices--and I'm sure it wasn't 22--I'm back to square one. 0 days since I've raised my voice to my children. Sigh.
Fortunately, I did get us all out the door with time to hit Starbucks for a non-decaf coffee after dropping off Colin at school (without lunch money would be the unfortunate aside here.) I stopped the car in the parking structure and apologized to Marley for losing my temper. I went over with her why I was irritable (my problem) and what choices she made I was frustrated with (her problem.) I explained clearly what my expectations are for change today and tomorrow and laid out consequences.
One of Marley's consequences is that she had to take a nap when she got home from school. Wednesday is her short day or this would not be an option. I do believe she is resting soundly now and although her transition to wakefulness might be rocky, she will be a better companion when we go to dinner with some friends tonight. One of my threats to insure her cooperation this morning was the cancelling of this dinner. Fortunately, it hasn't come to that.
Colin should be home from school soon. He was so helpful during it all. He made Marley's lunch and tried to get her socks and shoes on her. He helped get us out the door and then offered to head over to grandma and grandpa's house after school with Marley so I could get in a nap. (How completely terrifying must I be when I am tired to get this much cooperation out of a teenager? Frankenstein terrifying I might guess.) And what does he get in return for his help? No lunch money. Mom of the Year Award. You. Are. All. Mine. On top of this, I have displaced guilt because it is so cold outside and he doesn't have his jacket. The guilt is displaced because the jacket was left at our friends' house. Colin doesn't have any other jackets to wear. But, we do have plenty of dad jackets that would suffice. Except that wouldn't be cool. He would rather freeze than wear a non-sanctioned, non-skater cool jacket. Okay Sonny Boy, if that is what you want. I'm putting that guilt away. Right now. In the displaced guilt trash can.
It is cold here in So-So Cal. High 50s. It is also dark and stormy night windy except for the dark and stormy part. The sky is perfectly blue and the wind is vacuuming out the smog as I type this. I do hope it settles down before bedtime or me and at least one of my kids will have a hard time sleeping through the windy chorus.
Well, that flowed out of me more quickly than I thought it would and my physical energy is ebbing. There, now I've tied in that title again. Aren't I clever?
Maybe I need to go take a nap myself.
1 more people! Can you believe it?