Sleeping with Bread Monday

Well, here I am fresh off the latest sleep study. I am now fully titrated. (Titration is the determination of the optimal pressure for you to use on the CPAP machine.) Because I got home less than an hour ago, I am just now getting to this Monday's Sleeping with Bread.

Still being a little fuzzy from last night, I was stumped as I looked at the SWB questions so I am going with the straight-from-St. Ignatious consolation/desolation combo.

In the last week, what gave me consolation?

I've been going through old pictures--which you know if you've been checking out Tales from the edge of sanity. Looking at pictures of my kids, our friends' kids, me as a kid has been giving me a nice, warm fuzzy feeling.

• When I look at pictures of me as a child, I am happy to see that I wasn't the invisible, homely child I often felt like.
• As I spoke about last week, looking at pictures of my friends' children makes me grateful for the community that I experience with these families.
• Finally, when I see those pictures of Colin and Marley, well, what mom doesn't melt when she sees chubby faces, new teeth, sleeping bodies. It is just too Too for words. I turn into one of those raving lunatic, gusher moms who just wants to talk about eating up those yummy kiddos 'cuz they look so scrumptious. How ridiculous am I? But hey, what's a girl to do?

In the last week, what caused me desolation?

Let's see, would it come as any surprise that it has to do with sleep apnea? I am soooooooo looking forward to the day when I do not have any need to talk about this. For this past week, because Paul was out of town and the kids both had obligations every day, I was pushing what is reasonable for me to get accomplished. Mind you, this doesn't include cooking and cleaning. Right now, getting them fed junk food, Marley bathed (occasionally) and everyone where they are supposed to be is my limit. So, last night, while I have felt more prepared for this study, I started experiencing some anxiety before Paul dropped me off. I realized I was close to tears when Paul asked me how I was doing, so I asked begged him to pray for me before I went in. I settled in while I waited for my technician to begin the electrode attaching process. (I do have a couple of pictures which I will post later.) During the night, as they tried different settings, I was physically uncomfortable with some of the pressures they tried, my body was uncomfortable from some of the straps and there were times when I was afraid:

• afraid they wouldn't get a air pressure number
• afraid I was going to freak out and start crying
• afraid the night would never end.

But the good news is this desolation ends with more consolation:

They did get an air pressure number; I only freaked out a little (on the inside where they couldn't see); and, the night did end around 9:15 this morning when they woke me up. I have my numbers and I should have the machine in my grasp within a couple of days. I am really on my way to feeling better and I am ready.

Now it's your turn...