Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Life, the Universe and Everything (10 p.m. ramblings)

Um... Right now, it doesn't feel like I have much of one. Although, if you think about it, when people say that they don't have a life what they mean is they don't like the life they have. So, I guess I will be honest and say it. Right now, I don't like the life I have. (I'm listening for the sound of thunder indicating the nearness of lightning. No thunder. I don't think I will be struck down by lightning for that one.) The foundation of my so-called life is fine. Husband, two kids, two tiny little pets, nice suburb. Check. Check. Check. Check. On the surface, I cannot complain. And really, I don't want this to be a complaint. This is just my 10 p.m. ramblings.

My jaw is perpetually clenched. I believe it is closely related to the disorder that I am tired (get it?) of talking about. Perpetually Clenched Jaw has been causing headaches daily the past weeks. I am basically confined to the house after 4 pm because Paul is gone for a few days. I'm an extrovert without many "extras" to vert with. Like the puppy in this picture, given the right circumstances, I will go looking for company. Right now, the circumstances aren't ideal. That probably has a lot to do with the vast comments I have been leaving on blogs over the entire blogverse. Long. Wordy. Comments. And checking the comment conversation multiple times per day.

My schedule is determined currently by gymnastics camp drop off and pick ups, summer school drop off and pick ups and errands. My attitude is challenged by my chaotically dissheveled home and my empty fumes checking account.

The complaint fest above? Basically cabin fever. As usual when I write these life, the universe and everything post, I implore you to ignore it. Once I get some sleep, I'll feel okay. Once Paul gets home, even better. My head has plenty of perspective but my spirit is just getting in the way tonight.

(8 a.m. the next morning - update: I was just posting over at Tales from the edge of sanity, and I realized that I did get to have brunch with one friend on Monday and I will get to have lunch with my sister-in-law on Thursday. So, I take back a little, that I haven't been able to have people around me. But, I contend that it does go to show how much of an extrovert that I am. Two get-togethers in a week aren't enough for me!)

the Universe
When I was looking for an image to place above, I first did an image search for "lonely" before deciding to go with extrovert. Sadly, many of the pictures that came up when I searched for "lonely" images were pictures of arms that had been scarred by cutting. I am so saddened by this. I may be lonely with a lower case "l" because of some temporary circumstances but I cannot imagine being so lonely with a capital "L" that I would take a razor to my arm and cut it hoping that physical pain would make me forget my emotional pain.

Something was told to me today that made me cry.
Something that isn't about me.
Something that isn't appropriate for me to discuss here at this time.
Something that there isn't anything to do to stop it or make it better.
Something I knew was coming.
Something that should make a person cry.


A certain VIC (Very Important Celebrity) has been getting a lot of attention lately for some VBB (Very Bad Behavior.) I find myself having great sympathy for this man and his family because of a theory I have. A theory that sometimes when a child is raised with certain words and behaviors you never fully escape them. Consciously you might reject them but when you face certain difficulties these words and behaviors might rear their ugly heads. This is an anecdotal theory meaning that I have no proof this is the case but I know--from my own experience--that the words and behaviors that surrounded me as a child come back to haunt me. On any given day I fight to keep those behaviors away from my children and that I have lost that fight some days.

I think I am too tired for much of "everything." It is now 10:52 p.m. If I don't get to bed soon, I will be sorry tomorrow. Maybe you guys can tell me a little bit of the everything in your lives right now. I wouldn't mind some company.


H.A.Page said...

I caught some stats on lonliness a few days ago (Ramble: Not Being Alone). That is why I think blogs are great for some social outlets. However, laughing and having someone laugh with you is irreplaceable. That's why my girlfriends are so important to me.

Yep. You are right about the things of childhood rearing their heads. Just like teenagers need to have comments they can pull out of their pocket quickly and easily for repartees (No, I'm busy tonight babysitting) to "You're mom never lets you do anything" for example...... I thought of things to "pull out" when situations got a little tense. It always seemed to diffuse the situation. (for everyone but one child sometimes.)


Mary-LUE said...

I am fortunate to have some excellent friends but I am a needy, greedy person when it comes to them. I want to see and talk to them lots and lots! Right now, life is conspiring against that happening. This, too, shall pass and I'll be in extrovert heaven soon, I am sure!

bubandpie said...

Oh my goodness, I have the SAME THEORY you do! I was even wanting to post about it, but then I chickened out because I thought it would be taken as support for views that I don't agree with, though I think that a drunk person may utter those views for reasons other than a personal belief in and commitment to them, especially when said person has had his mind filled with that poison ever since he was born. Nuff said.

Anonymous said...

Um... just surfing in from the great blog cyberspace beyond.

Did I just read that someone didn't
have a "life", or something to that

Well you do now! :D


(waves hello! and winks!)