I like to think of myself as a somewhat competent person. I like to pretend that under the right circumstances, I wouldn't be sitting on a Literary Studies degree I've never utilized. I imagine myself as a book editor at a decent size publisher or the three-time repeating high school teacher of the year. I've got a quite decent IQ. A couple of nights ago, I had a startling epiphany. I could never be the president. Seriously. That was the thought that popped into my mind sometime around midnight Saturday. I've spent some time considering this idea and here's why I could never be the President of the United States (POTUS):1. I hate to say it, but I just might push the button at the wrong time of the month. It could happen. I know it isn't the politically correct thing to think but it would be like that Easy Button commercial on television. One day, it just might seem like the easy thing to do. (PLEASE NOTE: I only speak for myself and not for any other 40ish woman on the planet.)
2. A 24-hour kitchen. I am a complete loss at controlling my diet consistently. I have good days followed by a string of bad days. If I had a chef and kitchen staff at my disposal, the Haagen-Daaz implications alone are mind-boggling.
3. Low tolerance for anyone who contradicts me. I doubt it would be good for international relations if I got fed up with the prime minister of Anywhere-but-here-istan and just shot a "What!" "You've got to be kidding me!" "Fine!" before I got up and stormed out.
4. I'm too unstructured. I watch The West Wing. I know the President has a to-the-minute schedule that runs from the early hours until late in the night. If I have more than five things to do an any given day, I just want to cry. Isn't that sad? I'll keep going, but I'm very pathetic. Imagine how would it look if I started getting choked up in the situation room as the world faces a potential apocalyptic disaster and I had to explain, "I'm sorry. Sniff, sniff. It's just been a really long day. Just give me a minute."
Now, I'll avoid pesky little reasons like I'm not affiliated with any political party, I have no understanding of economics and my foreign policy experience is limited to the two trips I've taken to Mexico over the last 25 years. That's not why I can't be president. No. Not at all. Unh-unh. (Please allow me my delusions, er, I mean illusions.)
5 comments:
Very funny post. I'd never want that job. It would send me straight to the psych ward. Although, I have never fully considered the added job bonus of the 24-hour-kitchen. hhhmmmm . . . .
I don't really think that a woman can't be president. I was ruminating on my own struggle with hormones, life, my personality, etc. Maybe it would be easier for a post-menopausal woman but I am sure that, for the woman who is dedicated, ambitious and crazy enough to want the job, she'd figure out a way to keep from blowing up the world during PMS. ;)
I absolutely RESONATE with your international relations response. Shoot, I can't even get through a committee meeting at work without at least THINKING "What?? You've got to be kidding!" I would probably be tempted to add something along the lines of "What an assinine idea!" before walking out of the room. I join the ranks of never to be POTUS.
Terri
I would like to be president, but you have some picky rule in this country about having to be born here in order to become president.
There was talk of changing that, but Arnold's star has faded, and I haven't heard much about it recently. However, if things change, do let me know :)
Glyn
I can't be President, either. Because I'm too lazy and I hate to dress up.
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