Sleeping with Bread: Glass Half Full or Half Empty?

You know that old story about the pessimist child and the optimist child who are presented with a room full of manure? The optimist child just knows that given that big pile there's a pony in there somewhere.



Well, I've been thinking about doing a Sleeping with Bread post for quite awhile now but have struggled with what to say. There's the potential for me to dwell on the big pile right now but I know that there's a pony in there somewhere. A pony covered in something smelly, maybe, but a pony nonetheless.

Without further adieu...

So far this year, what has left you feeling like your glass is half empty?

I feel like I am looking at a system-wide failure right now. Physically, I haven't exercised in months and months. School was so time and energy consuming AND I didn't have someone to exercise with due to conflicting schedules. Combined with my sleep apnea therapy not working out for months and I am something of a wreck. I've gained quite a bit of weight since December and I just don't feel good about how I feel or how I look. Blech!

Spiritually, I am in the same boat. I have not paid attention to my spiritual formation and it shows. Maybe not to the general onlooker, but it shows to me and I feel somewhat paralyzed to address the issue.

In regards to relationships, I am a weak participant on almost every level. I've become somewhat isolated due to my lack of energy and time. Although I have more time now that school is out, I am such a sloth that I am not making much effort to connect with people.

(Are you getting sick of this whining yet? I promise I am going to move on to more positive stuff soon!)

My dad died this year. It is a situation and history so complex that a Gordian Knot is the best metaphor to describe it. The story continues to add to its complexity with the administration, or rather, attempted administration of the trust. Additionally, this summer, I have been dealing with other family issues. Junk from the past. Nothing new going on--just reminders of what has been.

Finally, we've been dealing with some issues with my son's jaw. It started locking up and wouldn't you know it, he is one of less than 5 percent of people who complete orthodontic work with potential TMJ problems. It just kills me that he has to deal with this and until we know for sure (and it is very likely) that he won't need surgical intervention, I'm not going to be at ease.

I was talking with a friend the other day about all of this and I remembered the Undertoad from The World According to Garp. All of this stuff combined makes me feel like the Undertoad is there, lurking in the waves, waiting for me.

Okay, finally...

What in the last year has left you feeling like your glass is half full?


Paul has been incredibly patient and understanding through the whole "year of getting used to grad school." He values, I think, what I am doing and what it means to me and how it can benefit our family.


Colin has been a pleasure this year. Of course, he is a teenager, so we're not talking perfection here. Beyond some stereotypical conflicts with grades, sibling interaction and what not, I have been very proud to see how he has been handling himself. He's been great about his license and is taking the privilege of driving very seriously. We've had some conversations about Life, the Universe and Everything and I have to say, he has impressed me with his insights and outlook. There are definitely some areas in which he is farther along at 16 than I was. He's a kid who inspires trust.


Marley is growing up. I love watching her change as her body and mind continue to grow. She is back in gymnastics and I get such a kick out of what she can do. She has had the opportunity this summer to meet family who are about her age and spend lots of time with friends. She is eager to enjoy her life and although that can be exhausting for Paul and I at times, I love her joie de vivre.


School has gone well. I've learned a lot and met a lot of great people. I went into this program with an idea that I would enjoy and am thrilled to find that I not only enjoy it, I think I am going to be good at it... once I am finished. I still have a year to go and I won't finish in May 09 as I planned. Instead, due to a scheduling problem with some classes, I will finish in July 09. No worries. I may not get to walk for commencement but I will get to look for work for the fall.

So, while there is lots of stuff which is weighing me down somewhat, there is still so much to be grateful for. And... so much of this stuff is within my power to change. I can exercise, I can pay attention to my spiritual formation, etc. If I can work on some of those changes, the balance can be shifted significantly and I won't be look at a glass half full OR empty, but a glass that is simply full and overflowing.

The Artichoke of Great Neglect

Well, I am trying to post on a more regular basis but am at a loss for words today. I think I've lost my blogging mojo and I need to blog more to get it back... but I am at a loss for words... (Is this Groundhogs Day enough for you?)

Anyway... I did try to write a clever post about my morning in Jury Assembly Room 3 at the Orange County Courthouse but it just didn't work. (I can say that Jury Assembly Room 3 sports some comfy chairs, free wireless, shows movies during the lunch break, and is conveniently located right next to the cafeteria. Also, the judge who welcomed us must work on the side as a Baptist preacher. He was quite the speaker and advocate for our jurisprudence system.)

So... I must blog. I... must... blog... (and use as many ellipses as possible!) Hence, I give you pictures of my greatest gardening accomplishment--which came through my greatest gardening neglect. Never watered, never fertilized, never tended beyond its first potting. I present to you...

the Artichoke of Great Neglect. (I'm sure my offer for a gardening show on The Learning Channel is in the mail!)

Let's Catch Up... (Now with Earthquake Update!)

We interrupt this meme to let you know that the LUE household did indeed feel the recent 5.4 earthquake located in Chino Hills, California (approximately 20 miles away). The LUE house did some rockin' and a rollin' but sustained no damage. A good time was had by Marley-LUE and her friend. Mary-LUE retained her composure very well considering her strong fear of those danged things. We hope that there is no serious damage or injuries. We now return you to our regularly scheduled meme:

Alpha DogMa tagged me for a meme. Here's the deal...

Think back on the last 15 years of your life. What would you tell someone that you hadn’t seen or talked to for 15 years? How would you sum up your life? You get 10 bullet points. A list of 10 things to summarize about you. At the end of your list, tag 5 more people and send on the love…

I've been thinking on this for a few days now and finally, tonight, here is my list. I kind of had a friend in mind when I wrote this. Back in my Dallas days, I knew a woman named Linda. She is a comedian and a film maker. We kept in touch a little after I moved to California but haven't spoken in years. Whenever I think about her, I smile. She was funny, warm, creative, kind. Like no one else.

I googled her yesterday. I can't remember what made me think about her... anyway... I came across a couple of clips that I think you should go check out when you are finished. (I'll link the clips at the end of this post.) I think you will laugh and see a little bit of the woman I knew.

And so, Linda, it has been a long time. Here's a little of what I've been up to in the last 15 years:

1. Added a second kid to the family. The kids are eight years apart—rather, 7 years and 49 weeks, to the day. Colin is 16 and Marley 8. They would crack you up.

2. Celebrated 20 years of marriage—mind-boggling, not because I’m surprised by it, but just because I cannot believe that much time has gone by.

3. Started grad school—blah, blah, blah, Reading Education Master's, blah, blah, blah, focus on postsecondary developmental reading, blah, blah, blah. (Anyone reading this blog is probably sick of hearing about it, but for the person who I haven’t spoken to in forever, this is news.)

4. Went to the Van Gogh exhibit at the LACMA of art twice. To die for.

5. Sadly, experienced the death of one brother, one grandmother, one aunt, one uncle, and one father.

6. Was part of a church planting team and part of the leadership of that church for close to 10 years—still attend but just are not as involved in leadership.

7. Started blogging!!!!! Even though I am a sad sack blogger at best these days, this was a big deal in writing for me, opening a new community to me, etc.

8. (For Alpha DogMa), attended one Star Trek convention and am working on some day attending ComicCon—Joss Whedon rocks!

9. Didn’t go to New York City (yet), didn’t go to Ireland (yet), didn’t go to England (yet), didn’t go to Greece (yet), and finally, didn’t go to Italy (yet).

10. Became more myself, yet completely changed. I think people who knew me then would say I am much the same: talkative, outgoing, a good friend, etc. But I am also free of some emotional burdens and saddled with others. I am forever changed by the experience of being a parent—those kids will get to you every time. I am 20 years into marriage and would not give up the things I’ve learned in that time to be 20 years old again. I have seen people at their best and people at their not so best. I have developed relationships that I think I will treasure forever and let go of relationships that were unhealthy. I may not have “done” that may things in the last 15 years, but I have spent time doing what I love best, being with people.

So, it is my turn to tag. (Wow, I haven't done this in a looooong time.) Okay. I tag Michelle, TerriB (I know you are on a break, but this can wait until you are back in the 'verse.), Maddy, Riley, and Meredith.

And here are the clips for you to watch:

Adopted and Ten Year Old Dog
(The second video may work best in Explorer.)

Live from U.S. Interstate 10

Day four of the LUE family vacation. I'm typing to you somwhere just outside of Las Cruces, New Mexico. After spending three days in Phoenix where Paul has some business, we packed up the minivan (rented) and headed out around 9:15 a.m. The view outside any car window is flat, scrubby landscape, mountians in the distance, and blue skies with white puffy clouds.

Is this not the most fascinating blogging ever?

While I do stil expect overall behavior to deteriorate, so far the kids are managing. Of course, we have the following electronics available:

1 Pink Nintendo DS
1 Toshiba Satellite laptop (we have a car charger for the PCs and a Blackberry for wireless internet.
1 HP Pavilion laptop
1 iPod
2 XM radio receivers

We also spend time finding license plates from other states. So far we have spotted plates from 32 states and two countries. I meant to buy some travel games before we left and forgot. Anyone have any suggestions for games to keep Marley entertained?

Well, I decided that boring blogging was better than no blogging and I didn't want to go too long in between posts. I have been getting back into the rhythm of blog reading but the internet hookup in Phoenix was problematic. Hopefully I will have time to write more interesting posts in the next few days!!!

Cue Also Sprach Zarathustra...

How's that for a reference? Am I erudite or what?

Actually, I had to call my husband in and ask him, "Is there a name for that music from 2001 Space Odyssey? Not the Blue Danube 'duh duh duh DUH DUH-DUH-DUH' one. The dum, dum, dum, DUMDUM!!!!! one."

Without a moment's hesitation, he said, "Yes. Also sprach zarathustra."

I am duly impressed.

So here I am. My online final was finished around 1:30 p.m. I was less than pleased with it. Not because I don't think I did well. No, my study guide said that we would have 45-50 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer. My actual final had 4 multiple choice questions, 2 matching, and 4 essays. Arghhh!!!! I don't like surprises with school--unless of course, it is, "Surprise! You don't have to take the test!"

I am now beginning Mission-Make-Up-For-Months-Of-Neglect. I took Marley and her friend to the local craft store and bought hats and tote bags and fabric paint. I had iron-on transfers at home, took a picture of the girls, made an iron-on transfer, and then let them decorate with the fabric paint.



You can't see the cute picture, which is on the other side of the tote bag. The girls are thrilled. (I'm glad neatness doesn't count in homemade projects!)

For He Who Wishes Not To Be Named, it was as simple as letting him and his friends light illegal fireworks in the backyard tonight. Our town has a No Fireworks policy.

For myself, well, what I should be doing is going out for a walk. I haven't exercised in months and, oh! do I feel it! I should also be eating better, using my CPAP machine, taking my vitamins, cleaning the house, spending time with my husband. The list. It goes on and on.

But at least I'm blogging, right? Blogging is very, very important. For the next few weeks (see ticker below), I am hoping to write every few days and visit others daily. We will be going on vacation in a few days, but we will have two laptops with us. (I know, I know. What an extravagance!) We even have Verizon wireless and so I can blog from the interstate if I want. Blogging from the interstate may not consist of more than "I hate traveling. I'm hot! My kids are fighting! When are we going to get there?!!!" I'll try not to do that to y'all.

So. I'll be back in the next few days. Officially, my first post back was to be dedicated to atypical. I don't know if this one qualifies. It is such a ramble. I'll keep working on it.

In the meantime, come and by and say hello. Let me know how you've been, what's new, etc. I can't promise I'll be going back and reading too many old posts, but I'll try to keep up from here.

Love you all. Missed you all!

Mary-LUE

Things I might be writing about in the next few weeks:

My Stellar Academic Career
Vacation, OK and TX style
Family News: long, lost family, drama with a trust -- STAY TUNED!
What I'm (not) reading
The Artichoke of Great Neglect
A New Car!!!!
Spiritual Life, What Spiritual Life?

Okay, I lied...

Summer school is "officially" finished today. However, we have until Sunday to do the online final. Of course, I intend to take the final before Sunday. Intend being the key word. Soooooooo, I am really done by July 6th, 12 a.m., Pacific Daylight Savings Time.

We interrupt this lack of posting...

Theoretically I am working my %#$ off on summer school... but so far? Not so much. I mean, there's plenty of actual work to do, but I am not in a groove--not in a groove at all. With a huge curriculum project, class presentation, and a final in the next 22 days, I better get in the groove.

I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to the six weeks in between summer school and the fall semester.