Anxiety.That would be my life-draining experience for the week. I have a tendency toward anxiety and this week it has been an issue. I am going out of town tomorrow and getting to my destination requires getting on a plane--for hours. I hate flying.
I am going to a conference where I am going to co-present at a small conference session. It is my first professional conference and I want to do well.
While I am there, I will be working on my masters' project. I am a little (!!) behind and need the time away from home to get a good start on my first two chapters. It is a critical time--a do or die kind of time.
So... I think most people would agree that there is some reason to be anxious.
Except there's that pesky verse in the Bible:
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." Philippians 4:6 (NAS)
And that leads me to my life-giving experience for the week.
I prayed.
That is kind of a wild concept, isn't it? I prayed. I had some things to confess and the anxiety was weighing on me. So I went through some prayers from a book. My own words have been sorely lacking. Dealing with grief and some depression has left me inarticulate in prayer. I rest on the promise that the Holy Spirit intercedes on my behalf but I also like using prayers others have written.
It helped.
I woke up early this morning. I made myself stay awake as I will have to be adjusting to a new time zone AND I am getting up early, early, early for my flight. With the morning, I am feeling some anxiety again. There is lots to do to get ready... and the thought of that plane ride hovering at the forefront of my consciousness.
So, instead of spending the day in worry and fear, I am getting ready to pray.
It will help. And I am grateful for that.
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Every Monday (well, sometimes on Tuesdays), I host Sleeping with Bread, a spiritual reflection meme, over here. Right now, my participation is a little sketchy. I usually get the host post up--and lately, my friend, Tara has been helping out with that--but I don't always participate with my own time of reflection. I am actually trying to do better at that. The discipline is good for me. If you head over there, you'll find this entry cross-posted and some links to others' contributions.
5 comments:
I try not to read the bits that tell me not to be anxious. ;)
Wait, wait, wait....is this when you are going to be close to me? Dang, you have to catch up on schooool......
I get the prayer thing. Heck, I get all of it. I have lately been beating myself up because I can't seem to respond to anything (your most recent email comes to mind). Of course, the longer it has been since I have emailed, blogged, facebooked, etc., the harder it is to just jump back in - especially when I don't have the time/discipline to do it justice. I really think I could stand a little of that discipline of which you speak, but the very idea of instituting it makes me cringe from the thought of having anything else on my plate (which is actually pretty empty, but the mood makes things seem so much more energy-consuming than they are).
The previous, blog-length, scattered comments were brought to you by sickly kids and the resultant school-free day.
-t: the silent
P.S. it does wonderful things for my mood to read your posts, even when I can tell you are struggling. Is that a bad thing?
@atypical - No. It isn't a bad thing. I love to connect with you, no matter the circumstances.
I am so glad to have a blog-length comment from you. It does wonderful things for MY mood.
And yes, I am spending time catching up on school. I did look up how long I thought it would take to get to you and it is longer than I think is manageable. I AM spending some time w/some other internet friends--*ducking now*--but they are an hour or so closer than you, which makes it a little more manageable. Some day...
Oh youse guys.... *hugs to you both*
Disciplines and wanting to do them up to my standard--or not at all, of course "If you're going to do something, do it right or not at all" was just one of the voices I was having difficulties with this week.
I have a bazillion and one reasons for failing to follow through--and I'm graced with some good company who'll help me, if I only let them.
It's the 'letting them' that sometimes gets tough, for me.
<-- stubborn, prideful woman dontchaknow.
Prayer's been one of those things--one of those disciplines I've moved away from.....'cept if it was to look up and tell the Big Guy off. *sigh*
I can know better--and not DO better, yaknow?
I'm was so glad to see both of you up on the page today.
And really, I needed to 'read' you both.
I've missed youse guys!!!
Yeah, yeah......enough mushy stuff! LOL
(((((((((( MaryLUE )))))))))))
(you'll do great--I trust that one!)
(((((((((( atypical )))))))))))
:-)
When you're ready....
We're ready!
I hope you rock that conference, babe. Good luck!
Our lives are lining up together again.
Conference this week - check.
Needing to pray in places of anxiety - check.
Thank you for sharing your heart, your masters project and presentation will be great. I'll be praying too.
Tara
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