Thursday, January 11, 2007

The one where I keep writing about nothing at all.

What ifs:

My book club, that is, the book club I attend, I don't own it, met last night for a discussion of Jodi Picoult's My Sister's Keeper. If you are familiar with the book, you will know that there is plenty to discuss. If you are not familiar with the book, you will be able to imagine how much there is to discuss when I tell you that the book is about a thirteen-year-old girl's quest for medical emancipation so that she will not have to donate a kidney to her sixteen-year-old sister who has a rare and extremely lethal type of leukemia. Afterwards, though, I was driving home thinking about Anna, the thirteen-year-old. Conceived in a test tube to be a genetic match for her sister, she desired to have her own life and yet, without her sister's illness, she may not have ever been born.

What if.

As I thought about the novel's what if, I started thinking about my own what ifs. In particular, I began by thinking about our move from Dallas, Texas some 15 years ago. What if we had never moved back to California? How would I be different? How would our life be different? What struck me most was the thought that I wouldn't have the same children I have now. I didn't imagine that Colin and Marley would be living with us in Dallas. It seemed to me that the circumstances which led to his conception would have been different and thus, when and if I did become pregnant in this never-moved-back-to-SoCal parallel universe, Colin and Marley wouldn't exist.

I write about this not to wax poetic about my children and how I couldn't imagine life without them. I write this to explore what is apparently my belief that every second has an impact on the next, every decision leads down a different path and we can never have an answer to the what if question. Even as this thought scurried across my consciousness, the next thought gave chase. Were Colin and Marley destined to be born regardless of the decisions Paul and I made about where to live, etc. If we had stayed in Dallas, would Paul and I be the parents of these two particular children.

I don't know. The answer doesn't really matter. I was just wondering. What do you think?

To die for:

I was reading Fussy's post about the most incredible cake which she received in the mail as a birthday present. (Really, it is soooooo wonderful.) In the previous post, she linked up a website to a bakery that creates some incredible cakes. I found this one and just died a little (happily, mind you.) Check it out. All you bibliophiles and literature majors are going to swoon with me. I know it. Did you check it out? You did swoon, didn't you? I knew it!

Does this strike you as funny?

At The Happiest Place on Earth the other day, I was a little hungry. Poking around the Matterhorn, I found this:

Turkey legs and chimichangas? But of course, what else would you sell at a food kiosk at Disneyland? I did eat one of the chimichangas. Not bad. Pretty yummy, in fact. Of course, anything in a deep fried tortilla is yummy to me, but I will never order the turkey leg. I noticed several people walking around with one and let me tell you, walking around in your Mickey Mouse hat, bermuda shorts with white socks and sandals AND a turkey leg? Well, let's just say it looks a little goofy. Get it? G-o-o-f-y! (I crack myself up!!!!)

Spell check:

How do you write "what if" as a plural? I wrote "what ifs" but I'm wondering if I should have written "what if's." Neither of them look correct. Anybody? Anybody?


Finally, it is apparently National De-Lurking Week which makes me wonder who decided it would be National De-Lurking Week and who made them the bosses of de-lurking. It also makes me want to make a National Something Week. I tried finding the source--well, I checked the blogs I read on a regular basis who mentioned ND-LW, hardly an exhaustive research attempt--but not a link to the actual source was to be found. So who knows, maybe it is an urban legend. Whether is it real or not, if you are a lurker, please feel free to participate here. If you don't feel like coming up with a clever name or anything, just write an anonymous comment and sign it "de-lurker number (fill in the blank.)" If you are a lurker and don't feel like de-lurking. Hey, I'm cool with that.

Thus endeth the post.


Mommy off the Record said...


I can't find your e-mail address and I wanted to THANK YOU for the fabulous package that arrived in the mail the other day. I am SO sorry I didn't write you that very day to say thanks. I loved everything. What a treat. Please e-mail me so I can write you!


blackdaisies said...

delurking to say (delurking hahahaha i crack me up) i too received a beautiful package today and am oh so very impressed with you and your husband's artistic ways : ) wow!!

what if(s) can drive me crazy but i like to think that everything happens for a reason and ends up where it should end up, somehow ..

I swooned, I really really did ~ oh my!

Turkey Leg visions of bermuda shorts and white socks and sandals are cracking me up so bad ... that and the swooning and I'm pretty much done in ;-)

Becky said...

Turkey legs and chimichangas. I *so* enjoy the humour there - particularly that they are the ONLY CHOICES. :) Actually, the best part is that the turkey leg is more expensive...

Keep writing about nothing at all. I enjoy it!

atypical said...

I found the delurking week source:

I too swooned over the cake, but I would have swooned more had it been LOTR. :)

I looked it up, btw, and it is "what ifs." I thought that was the case, but just wanted to make sure with no ifs ands or buts.

I agree with everyone else about the wonderful package!!!!!


V-Grrrl said...

My father-in-law waxed poetic once about a decision he made and pointed out that if it hadn't been for that decision, I wouldn't have met my husband. "Then where would you be?" he asked dramatically.

And I said, "Hmmm, happily married to someone else I guess," which shocked him and made me look completely unromantic, which, truth be told, I am.

I don't believe I'm destined for any particular path, that God's plan for me is more about how my life unfolds and the type of person I can become rather than a preset series of events.

I don't believe I was predestined from birth to marry E but I do think that at the time I met him, God had a role in bringing us together and keeping us together. Same with other circumstances--I don't see the whole thing as being pre-planned but that God's hand is always in my life as I live it.

As for what ifs, I do sometimes think about a pregnancy I lost and the child I was carrying then. I sometimes wonder what would have happened with my career if I'd finished college before marrying E instead of afterwards. Like everyone else, I've had some heartaches and tough times, but overall my life has been very good, so no regrets, no wishing.

meredith said...

I don't lurk, but Hi anyway. I did swoon over the cake and I would have ordered the chimichanga, too. I wonder about the what-ifs of life (that's how I'd spell it) and I am convinced each decision brings on it's own unique impact on our lives, which is kind of mind boggling when you think of all the decisions we make.

Beck said...

That cake! I don't know if I do believe in fate - it's nice to think so for the beautiful things in life, but awful to think so for the horrible things.
Lucky Fussy. I wish someone would ship me a cake. (Not a hint. Nobody should ship me a cake. I'm on a diet.)

Mary-LUE said...

daisies, atypical and MotR, I'm glad you got everything (finally) and that you enjoyed everything. I can breathe a sigh of relief now!

Mary-LUE said...

p.s. Beck, have you received yours yet?

Terri B. said...

Now that is what I call a cake!

I occasionally think about "what ifs" but most of mine are too scary to think about -- so I don't.

EnnuiHerself said...

Well I did it! I finally caught up on your blog. Took me a while, but here I am at your latest post.

*Your book club selection sounds interesting. I always enjoy books in which genetic technology is misused.

*Those cakes are awesome and I want one. Unfortunately they only seem to be wedding cakes. :( Almost makes me want to get married . . . almost.

*The turkey leg would be funny but I haven't eaten dinner yet and I can only think: yum.

bubandpie said...

That cake is spectacular.

(I tried to leave a comment on your previous post a couple of times, but Blogger wouldn't let me. And now I don't remember what I was going to say. Argh.)

Alpha Dogma said...

Let's start a National Keep On With The Status-Quo week. It could really catch on.

ECR said...

I'm the kind of person who would drive myself crazy if I let myself indulge in any "what ifs." So I ignore them completely. It actually reminds me of my all time favorite literary quote (they can put it on my fancy book cake!!!). The quote has a swear in it and I don't know how you feel about the word so I'll bleep it:

"You can't change what can't be changed. There it is. There it absolutely and postively and f---ing well is."

"The Things They Carried," Tim O'Brien