Sleeping with Bread day.
I did not want to write a post today. I had a migraine yesterday. I actually woke up and couldn't see straight because of the aura I get right as a migraine is starting. THAT is a bummer of a way to begin the day. It was also my second migraine in just a few days and it takes a while for me to get back to a state of equilibrium after that.
BUT...
I am trying to be more consistent in my SWB posts... in posting in general so I am going to try to write something coherent. Bear with me.
I think as I look back over the past week, memories have brought me both consolation and desolation.
With all the coverage of Michael Jackson's death, I've been revisiting some unresolved issues from my past. I know... that sounds a little weird. It's just one of those tangential things. It isn't Mr. Jackson's death itself. It's the wondering about his life and what you make of it and then thinking about other people's lives and wondering what to make of them. Some dead Greek guy once said something to the effect that you should not judge a man's life happy until the end of his days. Along those lines, I'm wondering how you judge a man's life at the end of his days. As people debate the true legacy that Michael Jackson leaves behind, I've been thinking about a person in my life. He died a long time ago and I will not go into the details here, but I STILL do not know what to do with his life... was he a good person? a bad person? a victim? someone who victimized others? all of the above? none of the above? The reality is that I will probably NEVER be able to sort all that out. Never. But it HAS been on my mind this week and it makes me sad.
Still, remembrances of the past, have also been pleasant this week. On Saturday night, I went to go hear some friends perform at a local restaurant. My husband was playing guitar for them and one of Marley's teachers joined me for a grown up night out. The band that followed them, a group called The Sorries, includes a number of acquaintances. The drummer was the first person who lived with our family when we moved into this house. He needed a place to stay for a few weeks and that turned into a few months. He was a great guy. He still is. He plays drums for our church once in a while but I had not seen him in a band-type setting for a long time. He reminded me of our first months in this house, my son before he started school, our dog (Bob!), and my job working with college students at the church.
The bass player was part of a band that Paul and I both enjoyed very much. They were great musicians, FUN (FUN!!!) guys, intelligent. That band broke up and the guys--for the most part--got married and "settled" down. The bass player reminded me of the community of musicians that we knew for a long time. So much talent, but more importantly, so many good people. People who cared about others, were creative, and enjoyed life.
Finally, the guitar player is someone I've known since he was starting high school. His family was part of our small group from church for years. This small group was such a joy for our family. Although we journeyed together through many sorrows, there were also many celebrations. There was such an acceptance amongst this group of people. There is a passage in the Bible that often gets quoted to describe the ideal Christian community and our small group embodied many of these characteristics:
They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved. (Acts 2:42-47)
What fun it was to be reminded of all those people and experiences just by watching one band perform!
Thanks for reading my ramblings, which may or may not have made any sense!
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There are other Sleeping with Bread posts to be found here.
6 comments:
Isn't it amazing how one little sound or smell or chance meeting can bring up so MANY memories?
An ex-boyfriend friended me on Facebook last year. Wow. Set me back on my heels. It actually was not a bad relationship, but still, it was weird to get smacked with all those memories, without any warning.
It is amazing. And now, it just seems that every memory is especially melancholy or sweet. I tear up ALL the time. And when it is a memory like you are talking about, a sudden one, it's like my little gyroscope gets all wonky and has to be recalibrated.
I feel as if I've been consumed by memories lately, too--it's good, sometimes scary, but always rewarding in the end.
I'm on a nostalgia-bender, too. I think it's b/c the kids are done school for the year, and I can't help but compare their schooling experience with my memories.
You hob-nob with some very talented people! I wish I could play/make music.
Seems to be a common theme lately, this memory stuff.
I'm not sure what's memory or what's been passed on to me sometimes. But I share some of the same puzzlements you appear to have.
My answer is to leave their life to them--and to go about living my own. *sigh* Somedays-----easier said than done?
Believe it or not--your SWB made great sense to me. (perhaps that should scare you? LOL)
I too had a chance to catch up with an old band-mate on Friday. It was good after a kind-weird wrap up to that group, to have a moment to look back together as see the good of those days. Some of it was tough, but what was fostered and developed out of that project was good - and that was good for me to remember.
Praying you days to come are migraine free...
T
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