Monday, January 12, 2009

Sleeping with Bread: Search for the Perfect Recipe

I have to make this quick today. I have too much to do and not nearly enough motivation. If I don't start soon, the day will be over before I know it. (As happened yesterday. Sigh. I am NOT a responsible person.)

So, after last week's woe is me tale of unleavenedness, there is progress to report. First, I think just writing about the State of Mary-LUE was helpful. While I am not willing to say that everything is hunky dory now, I did experience some positives. (I was tempted to type that "I" accomplished some things, but I think that there was a lot of God in the middle of it all and I don't want to steal his thunder.)

Positives:

The Spiritual. I pulled out an old study and went to work on it. As part of the study, I wrote a blog post (for one of my 10 million blogs I have) and sent it out to a few friends. It helps me to share what is going on in my time with the Lord AND provides some accountability. Such an unstructured soul as I does better when someone is WAITING for something.

The Physical. I actually got in a couple of walks last week. I am hardly ready for the SAHM Olympics, but it was good to get out there.  I made an effort to use my CPAP machine for my sleep apnea. I actually kept in on for over four hours one night.

School. I got off my keester and headed out the the university (sans computer) for some serious reading time. It was a very productive time. After finishing this post, I'm off for more reading and hopefully writing. My self-imposed deadline for the first draft of this proposal was last night. Oops!

Family: I was very conscientious about paying attention to my barnacle, um, er, leech, um, er, Huggy Bear, aka Marley. She has been clingy to the nth degree and I am trying to balance what needs to get done and what needs to be--if that makes sense. Lots of time was spent reading Ballet Shoes for our mother-daughter book club party this Sunday. We still have several chapters to go, but it is definitely mother-daughter dedicated time that she appreciates.

Miscellaneous: Dinner was prepared and eaten at home several days. This is progress for me.

Negatives:

The Spiritual. Well, there's a whole passage in the book of Romans which says it all and goes something like... the things I don't want to do, I end up doing; the things I want to do, I don't. 

The Physical. I missed out on one walk because of the insomnia thing. One walk is not a big deal, but it is knowing that it will continue and that I need to find a way to work around it that was discouraging. I skipped a couple days on the CPAP because I was too tired to wash out the humidifier jar. I also only got a couple of hours per night most nights. I need at least 4, preferably more on a very regular basis to have a big impact on my energy level.

School. After such wonderful progress on Saturday, I completely messed up yesterday. I went to church, came home, ate, then took a nap. A long nap. After said nap, I was just not motivated. I ended up on the couch for most of the rest of the afternoon and evening. Not a good idea.

Family. Ugh. Reference Huggy Bear above. Clingy is one thing but this is beyond the pale. I had to give her time out from touching me at church because she was doing something that drives me crazy and SHE KNOWS it drives me crazy but she was doing it anyway! She was temper-trantrumy last night and spent 20 minutes in her room before she would come out and ask for dinner properly. We still had our cuddle time and our reading time but she is challenging the heck out of me right now.

Miscellaneous. Um, no menu so far this week. No trip to the grocery store. No laundry done over the weekend. 

The Big Picture:

Overall, the list above is just that--a list. It doesn't really speak to my lament from last week about my soul needing lifting up. At least, in and of itself, it doesn't. But sharing my 'Woe is me' and then slowly moving my way through the week, taking it sometimes one hour at a time, I did feel better. My spirit is not risen, but it is rising.

I wanted to thank everyone who commented--and even those who just read but didn't comment. I know you are out there! Your encouragement is helpful to me and helps to provide that leaven for my soul.

5 comments:

Lamont said...

Progress! Wow - you have managed to not only make progress on you school work this week, but you are able to break down aspects of life and make comparisons.

May your spirits keep rising!

Terri B. said...

I hope you are able to feel good about the progress and not too burdened by the rest of it. You're on my prayer list :o)

Mel said...

Yaknow, sometimes it's the very act of getting it out of my head. Kinda like that to-do list that seems huge while I'm trying to remember what's on the darn thing. If I just WRITE it down, it seems smaller and more manageable.....cuz it is.

<-- has a magical magnifying mind

*hugs*
Progress is GOOD! Inches and seconds--baby steps are steps!

Subspace Beacon said...

Go, YOU!

The SAHM Olympics. Does it involve a pie eating contest? If yes, I'm in.

I don't think that people with non-clingy children understand the concept at all. It's amazing how the repeat -- yet benign -- violation of my space bubble makes my head explode.

Julie Pippert said...

The clinger child can be hard---you know they need something but neither of you can quite reach it, and so you are left with this uncomfortable needy dance. (hugs)

And it's hard to work what you need and want.

But you keep on keeping on and working so well to that balance. You do good.