Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Warning! A Post Which Makes Rash Generalizations About a Certain Portion of the Populace.

With just one week before I start summer school, I decided to treat myself to an afternoon movie, Then She Found Me.

There is a peril in going to a movie on a weekday afternoon...

I don't want to come across as being prejudiced in any way...

However.

The people who tend to go to movies on a weekday afternoon tend to be of a certain age.

An age where glasses are often required...
An age where gray hair is common...
An age where an occasional walker is used...
An age where hearing is sometimes diminished...

OLD PEOPLE!

Now, I've got nothing against old people. Seriously. Some of my very favorite people in the whole world have been old people. But old people at a movie theater? It's like having the director's commentary turned on while you are watching a DVD. Except it isn't the director's commentary. It is the commentary of every thought that might pop into your head which may, or may not, be relevant to the film. Commentary dialed up to 11 in volume.

Among the comments I heard today. . .

Ellen DeGeneres' girlfriend was going to be in one of the movies we saw the preview for playing a very tough, dramatic part.

Helen Hunt must have made a lot of money for this movie because she is starring in it, co-wrote it, produced it, and directed it.

Also about Ms. Hunt, according to my source (and I doubt its accuracy), she has never been married and had a baby by artificial insemination. (My source may have been getting some of the plot confused with Ms. Hunt's actual life.)

Now, to be sure, this was not the worst case of OLD PEOPLE MOVIE TALKING that I've ever experienced. Last November I went to see Lars and the Real Girl. In addition to a running commentary, I also had to put up with inappropriate laughing at the film's more tragic moments.

Sigh.

This must be what is like to watch a movie with me at home.

7 comments:

Alpha DogMa said...

I was just thinking about you yesterday and wondering when your degree would finish so you'd resume regular posting. That's right: it is NOT about you and your professional development, it is all about ME being amused by YOU!!!!!

Thank you for this post. It makes me feel better about not having been to a movie theatre in six years. YES! Six! Years! It was either the first Harry Potter or Spy Game -- I can't quite remember which.

This is what happens when you:
a. breed, and/or
b. move to a town two hours from the nearest theatre.

Oh, your last line: very funny, very droll.

Beck said...

What is the last movie I saw in the theatre? I know we took the kids to the movies last summer and had to drive an hour to get there.....
Ah, I like old people. Generally. They do like to narrate movies though.

EnnuiHerself said...

Psh, I'll take old people to small children and teenagers.

Glad to see you back and posting!

All Rileyed Up said...

Whenever I'm in a theatre in the middle of the day, it means I'm with the kids, and we're the ones making all the noise.

Andrew Clarke said...

Change of subject, I hope you don't mind. If you enjoy reading fantasy such as "The Chronicles Of Thomas Covenant", may I suggest another one to try? "Outcasts Of Skagaray". For a free preview, go to www.threeswans.com.au and check the sample chapters and comment. I would be glad to hear what you think of it. Best wishes any way.

Lindsey said...

Oh that's so funny!! I would love to go to the movies and hear comments like that:) At least you got some nice peaceful time!! Happy Memorial Day!!

Julie Pippert said...

M-L, SO good to see you!!

I have wanted to see that movie. I've been better about seeing them b/c there is this theater that is a dine-in theater and the moms love it as a outing spot. We go see chick flicks---next up is the Sex&the city movie.

I think b/c of small children who run commentary 24/7 I am fairly good at tuning out, but have to admit I haven't been challenged in this particular way!!