Confessions of a New Year's Resolutions Junkie

Tick...

Tick...

Tick...

Do you hear that? It is the sound of 2006 winding down. Just a few more days until the new year. I don't know about you but the last week of the year is a time of reflection for me. Maybe it is ingrained from all those years of child-like enthusiasm for New Year's resolutions. Commitments I never kept. At least, I cannot remember ever keeping one. And still, as an adult I make a few every year because every year I see the need for growth in my life.

This year I am overwhelmed by the number of things I would like to do differently in 2007. That depresses me just a little. I have learned, though, that any accomplishment begins with one small step--not the decision to do something but the first movement. And, I've learned that I'd rather look back at a year and see I made it 25% of the way toward a goal than zero percent.

So I am taking time these next few days to consider how much I want to tackle this year and to prioritize it all--which goals are more important than the others--because inevitably I will attempt more than I can handle. But by striving for more, I hope I will accomplish more than I otherwise would have. And ultimately, in the words of Dory--which my daughter reminded me of today--I'll "just keep swimming, just keep swimming..." and this time next year, I'll be writing here about the progress I've made.


Image from PC Wallpapers

An Empty Stocking

Tonight I want to tell you a story about an empty stocking...

Once upon a midnight clear there was a child's cry.
A blazing star hung over a stable and wise men came with birthday gifts.
We haven't forgotten that night down the centuries.
We celebrate it with stars on Christmas trees and the cry of bells and gifts...
but especially with gifts.
You give me a book.
I give you a tie.
Aunt Martha always wanted an orange squeezer
and Uncle Henry could do with a new pipe.
Oh, we forget nobody, adult or child.
All the stockings are filled.
All that is, except one.
We have even forgotten to hang it up.
A stocking for the child born in a manger.
It's his birthday we're celebrating.
Dont let us ever forget that.
Let's ask ourselves what He would wish for most.
And then let each put in his share...
Loving kindness
Warm hearts
and the stretched out hand of tolerance...
All the shining gifts that make peace on earth.
from The Bishiop's Wife

The Bishop's Wife is one of my favorite movies and I try to watch it every year. Many years ago, before Marley was born, as I watched it, I decided that our house needed a stocking for Jesus. We hang it up each year in the center of the mantle and place a copy of this little sermon in it. On Christmas morning when we are all awake, we will read it and then talk about what we have done in the past year, as a family and as individuals, that could be considered a gift to Jesus. Then, of course, the contents of our own stockings are spilled on the floor and the carnage of present begins soon after. But for a few moments on Christmas morning, we stop to consider God's gift to us in the sending of his son and what we can do to express our gratitude for that greatest gift.

Merry Christmas!

While it may look as if my teenage son is facing a firing squad,
I can assure you, it was merely a camera.

I have a Gumbie mouse in mind...

The curtain has fallen on the last performance of Mr. Eliot's Cats. Before it was all said and done, there was much fun and stress, joy and desperation, shouts of exultation and many tears. There is too much to do in the next two days to recount the whole story but here's a few pictures of my darling mouse and some of her castmates. (If you click on the group pictures, you can get a better look at all the wonderful costumes.)







Because Paul and I were so busy with the play, we did not take ONE pictures ourselves of our daughter! These are pictures someone else took. I hope to get more from other moms in the next few weeks.

Friday Fripperies

Okay, okay... I know it isn't Friday. I said I was going to do a FF post last week and didn't and I don't have much of consequence to say so please allow me the use of FF on Wednesday.

Shall we proceed?

• Two performances of Mr. Eliot's Cats down, and three more to go. Make-up, costume, body mic'ing twelve 7, 8 and 9 year olds, feeding Paul sound cues, herding kids back to class to get out of costume and to clean up make-up. I am sure that a birds-eye view of these shenanigans would make for some great You Tube footage. Can I say that herding 33 kids is like trying to hold water in your hands?
• There haven't been any new reports of The Stomach Bug. I'm not foolish enough to think this means I've escaped it for the entire season, but I less than 48 hours to go and the play is over. Then... well, I still don't want to get it but at least there will be less to have others manage if I do.
• In my best Jerry Seinfeld impersonization: "What's the deal with cigarette butts and ashtrays?" The last few times I have been to my neighborhood Starbucks, there are at least a hundred--I kid you not--cigarette butts littered around 7 or 8 tables. Each of these tables has an ashtray on it! Is there some reverse magnetic effect I don't know about? Truly, walking through the gauntlet of butts is not pleasant.
• Audience Participation: I have a holiday newsletter question for you all. Where do you stand on them? Do you like getting them? Whether or not you like getting them, when you get one, how much detail do you like the sending family to give you? I am in the process of writing one for our family and it is only the second time I have ever done it. I'm not sending Christmas cards, because, Duh, school doesn't let out until the 22nd and I have no life until Marley gets out of school at 1:15 on Friday afternoon. What few presents I am buying for the kids, what housecleaning I have to do, what family gathering preparation I need to do--all this has to wait until Friday at 1:15 p.m. So, I'm not sending out Christmas cards. Instead I thought I'd do a newsletter in Publisher and save it as a PDF file and send it via email. As I'm looking at it, I realize I'm on my third page. Now, this includes a brief, "Hey, it's Christmas message, a few paragraphs about each of us and here's what we're up to for Christmas. The layout has lots of white space and room for pictures so it isn't like I'm sending out a single spaced, paragraph free, run on sentence. But I don't know. Should I bother? What kind of information should I put in it. Help me, Obiwan Bloggers! You're the only hope of those who will receive the newsletter. They need you!
• Over at Toddled Dredge, Veronica put a link to a HI-larious You Tube video. If you are a parent, you will appreciate and understand this video. I also posted it over at So-So Cal Cinema if you want to go there.
• As I mentioned in Monday's SWB post I was recently traumatized by Boromir's death--yet again--while watching The Fellowship of the Ring on TV this past weekend. With our Lord of the Rings appetite whetted, we pulled out our extended version DVD's and have been watching them one after the other for days. While I was getting mouse make-up on Marley this morning, I heard someone say, "Look! She has Eragon!" I heard "Aragorn" and I looked up to see Aragorn who? Aragorn where? That's when I noticed a copy of the book Eragon next to me on a desk. I have Lord of the Rings on the brain right now!
• I have realized recently again just how much of a visual person I am. I love blogging but I want pictures to go with everything. And buttons. I want buttons for EVERYTHING. Sleeping with Bread buttons, BSE buttons, Friday Fripperies buttons (don't have one of those. Need one.) I think I need to take a chill pill and R-E-L-A-X!
• Peppermint Bark candy is yummy. Very yummy.

Okay, I think I've fripperied enough for today. Thanks for indulging me!

Sleeping with Bread Monday with Irony and Less Than Full Disclosure

In the last week, where have I found consolation?

I think this past week, I have found consolation, ironically, in the hustle and bustle of preparing for my daughter's class play. Yes, the play which has me frazzled with costumes and sound worries and fearful of The Stomach Virus of 2006 is also a source of encouragement to me. Rather, the kids and the parents in the class are the source of encouragement.

I believe I have mentioned here before that my daughter is in a Multi-Age program at her school. It is a double class with two teachers and kids in Kindergarten through Third Grade. The curriculum is integrated and the approach developmentally-based. Because brothers and sisters are in class together and because the children are together for several years, a close bond develops within the group as a whole. During this time of The Production, even more time is spent together and I've had a chance to see the Spirit of Community in action. Parents help each other out with costumes or kid care. Children help each other with their lines. The older kids look out for the younger kids. It is a family of sorts and in spite of the recent chaos, I've enjoyed watching some of these sweet kids this week and seeing what great little people they are and I'm grateful that we will have more time--years--to keep getting to know them.

In the last week, what has caused me desolation?

Other than the fact that Boromir died... (The Lord of the Rings trilogy was on Sunday. My heart breaks for Boromir and it just kills me every time I see that movie and watch him die. Have I ever mentioned I'm a LOTR freak?)

Well, other than the LOTR tragedy, what caused me sadness this week is private and I can't share about it here. This is one of the difficulties of blogging for me. I can't bare all. If it were just me and you guys alone in a room, I could share. It isn't anything earth shattering--just the stuff of Life. It will pass. I would rather say there is something going on with me and leave it at that than make up something or pretend.

Also Sleeping with Bread this week:

Sheila at musings of a mommy
t at nonsensical text
Lamont at Uphill idealist

Next week will be a Sleeping with Bread holiday because it will be Christmas Day. Seven days until Christmas... can you believe it?



I did it! Have you?

Saturday Stream of Consciousness

Updated Below...

"Colin Throwing Up" an original drawing by Marley

I feel the need to get this post in today. For two reasons, one, my last post is a meme in which participation requires sending something arty to five people and I have my five people lined up now; and two, I'm afraid in the next 24 hours or so I will be puking my guts up. I'm not 100% sure about the last part but I have my suspicions.

This has been such a crazy week. I was excited to be feeling myself again on Monday after 5 or 6 days of a minor nervous breakdown due to the three-pronged punch of Paul being gone for eight days, sleep apnea therapy issues and, last but not least in impact, raging hormones. Monday brought renewed success in sleep and relief from hormonal distress. With renewed optimism I faced my week only to be attacked at every turn by issues with my daughter's school play, cookie dough from the fundraiser coming in and needing to be distributed, a forgotten birthday party, some unexpected babysitting and a crick in my neck which feels like a steel rod has been shoved in my brain and I can't get into the chiro's office until Tuesday.

All the moms from my daughter's class are running around with what I'm calling eyes. Costume this, cookie dough that, Christmas shopping, Bar Mitzvah preparation--one mom commented that she'd never seen so many of us going going makeup-less with our hair in ponytails. Another mom laughed and said they we've seen more of each other than our husbands and children.

This sounds like a big complaint fest. It really isn't. In fact, I'm laughing--in a dar humor, morbid sort of way--at the sheer absurdity of it all. I am so relieved that we are on the reduced Christmas shopping plan because then I would have to add to the list... "and I haven't even begun to shop!" I think I just need to get it all down in words so I can look back and see that I wasn't crazy; Life was crazy and brought me along for the ride--kicking and screaming!

But the piece de resistance; the icing on this absurdist cake; the proverbial straw that might break the mama camel's back: a stomach virus. Like a California brush fire on a Santa Ana winds day, a 24 hour stomach virus is sweeping through Marley's class. Three moms, one teacher, eight kids so far have been burned. The play is next week. The play will happen and turn out great, or the play will happen and be a complete fiasco or the play won't happen. There's nothing we can do about that. But I don't want to vomit. I can't stand vomiting. Everyone who knows me knows that I don't want to even hear that someone was spewing because I will get sympathetic stomach pains and question for days if I am getting it. And usually I don't. But I'm spending so much time at the school trying on mouse heads, getting pirate socks, cutting the fingers off gloves, making notation of sound cues so Paul can run sound for the play. It seems inevitable doesn't it?

This morning I was poking around online. Mysecretennui posted The Brutally Honest Personality Test. It is so hilarious, especially if you are familiar with the Meyers-Briggs personality types. If you can't take a healthy dose of harsh sarcasm, don't go there. My personality type is lovingly referred to as the Scumbag, so you are forewarned. (If you don't want to bother taking the test and just want to read the descriptions, click on Scumbag. The other descriptions are below it.)

Anyway... where I was going with that tangent is as I was reading, I felt some hunger pangs. I was surprised because I just came from breakfast out with a friend. Hmm... I said to myself. Why are you hungry? Then came the sinking realization that it might not be hunger but the beginnings of the virus. Now, I am definitely feeling something but is the kind of clammy feeling I now have because of fear of the worst or is it the worst? I don't know. What I do know is that my house looks like an entropy experiment, Marley and I are supposed to go see her friend in The Nutrcracker tomorrow, Monday is the last sound rehearsal before the first of five performances of Mr. Eliot's Cats presented by the Multi-Age Class. And Christmas is 9 days away.

The final irony is that my faith in God is actually getting in the way of my praying to be spared from the wretchedness that is a stomach bug. I start to pray, "Lord, please don't let me throw up" and I immediately think of all the other wonderful people who've been throwing up the last few days and is there any reason I should escape the puke-fest and they didn't? I also start thinking about all the real tragedy and pain in this world. How can I focus my time and energy asking for God to spare me from a 24 hour bug? So, I settle on a prayer which includes all this philosophical angst and end it with, "...but if I don't get it, I will be so grateful" and then hope for the best.

I guess that's all I can do for now.

Sunday morning. Well folks, so far so good. I haven't thrown up. Marley hasn't thrown up. Paul hasn't thrown up. After I wrote this yesterday, it suddenly dawned on me that the most indispensable person in our family to the big production of Cats is Paul. If he can't run sound, it will get a little sticky. Oh well. In the meantime, following a link at Frog and Toad are Still Friends, I bring you which movie my Christmas is most like:

Your Christmas is Most Like: A Charlie Brown Christmas

Each year, you really get into the spirit of Christmas. Which is much more important to you than nifty presents.

What Movie Is Your Christmas Most Like?

The Great Give Away Meme

Darlene, over at pluckthepetal.com, has gotten into the holiday spirit by passing along a give away meme. For the first five people who commented on her meme post, she offered to give a piece of art, in her case a photograph. The catch being that you were supposed to turn around and do the same on your blog.

Well, I love Darlene's pictures and I was fourth, I think, to comment. So, I will be receiving a picture in the next little while. The trouble is, I'm not an artist. So, I have a couple of options:

1) I have put together a set of my own amatuerish photos on Flickr. Filed under Give Away Meme are several photos. I used my newish Canon Power Shot S2 IS except for the Hawaii shots. I used an older Olympus Camedia digital for those. If you are one of the five first commenters to this post, I will send you one of these pictures, 5 x 7 or 8 x 10 size. If you are interested in the fireworks series (pictures of fireworks taken by someone who doesn't know how to photograph fireworks) I will send all three but in a smaller size.

2) If you are not interested in any pictures of mine (don't worry, I won't cry about it) I will find something else of an artistic nature to send to you. It might not be my own work but it will be something small and personal and crafted by an individual.

It will definitely be more artistic than this!

So, if you are brave enough to be on the receiving end of something I think is artistic, leave me a comment. You can then email me at aseveremary@pacbell.net and send me your address. Sometime between now and the first of the year, you will have your present. The cool thing is that, unlike most contests where you cannot be a friend, relative or acquaintance of an employee of the contest company, no such rule applies here. If you are one of the first five commenters, you get a present.

Darlene also put up a second meme which I do think I will do but I will leave that for another day.