NaBloPoMo: A Tribute in Song

What to post on the final day of NaBloPoMo?

I could do another creative writing meme.

I could talk about what I've learned about during this masochistic challenge.

I could introduce you to some new bloggers I met this month.

Instead, I'll leave you with the lyrics of this timeless song. I think this song pretty much sums up how I feel about my NaBloPoMo experience. I dedicate it to all of us NaBloPoMo'ers out there.

And now. . .

My Way

And now, the end is near;
And so I face the final curtain.
My friend, I'll say it clear,
I'll state my case, of which I'm certain.

I've lived a life that's full.
I've traveled each and ev'ry highway;
But more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Regrets, I've had a few;
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.

I planned each charted course;
Each careful step along the byway,
But more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew.
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall;
And did it my way.

I've loved, I've laughed and cried.
I've had my fill; my share of losing.
And now, as tears subside,
I find it all so amusing.

To think I did all that;
And may I say - not in a shy way,
"No, oh no not me,
I did it my way".

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels;
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows -
And did it my way!

We did everyone! We really did it.

Until next time, whenever that may be,

Mary

30 down, 0 to go

Ebb and Flow

Day 29

As much as I have been self-conscious about being too obviously NaBloPoMoing it in my posts, today I can't muster the mental energy to pretend. My creative juices have ebbed and there isn't anything new to flow into this blogging adventure. Now that I've justified the title of this post, let's move on with one of those posts. You know what I mean, the I-need-to-write-but-am-not-currently-coherent pieces that we forgive on a occasional basis but had better not be the narcissistic foundation of a good blog.

Part of my namby-pamby posting today is due to my lack of sufficient sleep last night. My rosy perspective from Monday was found tried and wanting this morning as I attempted to get Marley ready for school. I know better. I know better than to try to expect total cooperation on a day that Paul is out of town, I haven't slept enough, she woke up before 6 a.m. and I want to get us all out the door in 20 minutes. Of course that is when she will be too cold to move, won't cooperate with getting her socks and shoes on and refuses to flush the toilet. Of course that is also when I will throw all patience to the wind and raise my voice, stomp around and throw up my hands in frustration. I saw a ticker on someone's blog today while I was doing a little NaBloPoMo randomizing. It listed the number of days since this mom had raised her voice. 22 days. Wow! Whatever the number of days since I raised my voices--and I'm sure it wasn't 22--I'm back to square one. 0 days since I've raised my voice to my children. Sigh.

Fortunately, I did get us all out the door with time to hit Starbucks for a non-decaf coffee after dropping off Colin at school (without lunch money would be the unfortunate aside here.) I stopped the car in the parking structure and apologized to Marley for losing my temper. I went over with her why I was irritable (my problem) and what choices she made I was frustrated with (her problem.) I explained clearly what my expectations are for change today and tomorrow and laid out consequences.

One of Marley's consequences is that she had to take a nap when she got home from school. Wednesday is her short day or this would not be an option. I do believe she is resting soundly now and although her transition to wakefulness might be rocky, she will be a better companion when we go to dinner with some friends tonight. One of my threats to insure her cooperation this morning was the cancelling of this dinner. Fortunately, it hasn't come to that.

Colin should be home from school soon. He was so helpful during it all. He made Marley's lunch and tried to get her socks and shoes on her. He helped get us out the door and then offered to head over to grandma and grandpa's house after school with Marley so I could get in a nap. (How completely terrifying must I be when I am tired to get this much cooperation out of a teenager? Frankenstein terrifying I might guess.) And what does he get in return for his help? No lunch money. Mom of the Year Award. You. Are. All. Mine. On top of this, I have displaced guilt because it is so cold outside and he doesn't have his jacket. The guilt is displaced because the jacket was left at our friends' house. Colin doesn't have any other jackets to wear. But, we do have plenty of dad jackets that would suffice. Except that wouldn't be cool. He would rather freeze than wear a non-sanctioned, non-skater cool jacket. Okay Sonny Boy, if that is what you want. I'm putting that guilt away. Right now. In the displaced guilt trash can.

It is cold here in So-So Cal. High 50s. It is also dark and stormy night windy except for the dark and stormy part. The sky is perfectly blue and the wind is vacuuming out the smog as I type this. I do hope it settles down before bedtime or me and at least one of my kids will have a hard time sleeping through the windy chorus.

Well, that flowed out of me more quickly than I thought it would and my physical energy is ebbing. There, now I've tied in that title again. Aren't I clever?

Maybe I need to go take a nap myself.

Until tomorrow,

Mary

29 down, 1 to go

1 more people! Can you believe it?

Better Late Than Never: A Pink Ribbon Extravaganza

This past year at my annual physical, the nurse asked me a familiar question--and I gave her a familiar answer:

Nurse: Are you doing monthly breast exams?

Me: No.

Nurse: (Scrunches up face at me and makes a tsk, tsk noise.)

Me: (Feels chagrined, makes promise to self to begin right away.)

Six months later. . .

I have still not performed a BSE (Brease Self-Examination.)




I'm a little late for a breast cancer awareness post. After all, October was the month that was officially dedicated to that cause, but I thought about this the other day and decided it was worth blogging about. Better late than never, right? It deserves my time and my attention; and, like many issues in my life, if I tell someone I'm going to do something, I'm more likely to actually do it.

First some facts:

• Every two minutes a woman is diagnosed with breast cancer.
• This year more than 211,000 new cases of breast cancer are expected in the United States.
• One woman in eight who lives to age 85 will develop breast cancer during her lifetime.
• Breast cancer is the leading cause of in women between the ages of 40 and 55.
• 1,600 men are expected to be diagnosed with breast cancer this year and 400 are predicted to die.
• Seventy percent of all breast cancers are found through breast self-exams. Not all lumps are detectable by touch. Regular mammograms and monthly breast self-exams are recommended.
  
• Eight out of ten breast lumps are not cancerous. If you find a lump, don't panic-call your doctor for an appointment.
• Mammography is a low-dose X-ray examination that can detect breast cancer up to two years before it is large enough to be felt.
• When breast cancer is found early, the five-year survival rate is 96%. This is good news! Over 2 million breast cancer survivors are alive in America today.

Please note the statistic on breast cancer in men. Although the awareness ribbons which adorn this post are pink and although the vast majority of people who get breast cancer are women, 25% of men diagnosed with breast cancer will die from it. The National Breast Cancer Foundation on their Myths about Breast Cancer page recommends that men perform regular self-examinations also.




I have two friends--close friends, not just acquaintances--who have been diagnosed with and treated for breast cancer. One friend discovered at age 30. It is almost 13 years later and she is still cancer free. The other friend found out she had breast cancer at age 48. It is about 1 1/2 years later and she is cancer free. This disease has struck close enough to home that I should not allow myself the luxury of waiting another month to begin a habit which might save my life. At 42, I am fully in that group of women, ages 40-55, in which breast cancer is the leading cause of death.

One thing I have bemoaned over the last few years is the amount of routine maintenance it requires as I get older to feel and look good: allergy medication, CPAP machine, exercise, diet, skin care, vitamins, hair color. The list just gets added to every year. Surely I have room in my schedule for one 10 minute exam performed once a month.



A promise to myself:

I commit to performing regular breast self-examinations. I will hold myself accountable by posting BSE at the end of the first post I write after the exam. Hopefully, in addition to maintaining accountability for me, it will serve as a reminder to other women and men to do the same.




Facts for this post were obtained from the website of The National Breast Cancer Foundation. Other online resources include but are in no way limited to the following groups: BreastCancer.org and The Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation.

Pink ribbon icons were obtained at Pink Ribbons a site which provides copyright free breast cancer awareness logos. The Pink Ribbons site is part of the Download Pink Ribbon page operated by Carol Sutton. She collects "free, copyright free pink ribbon symbols, graphic, icons, images, pink ribbon visual material and the like for the use and promotion of raising awareness of breast cancer." If I understand correctly, these symbols may not be commercially used.

Until tomorrow,

Mary

28 down, 2 to go

Sleeping with Bread Monday: Freestyle

I think I'm going free lance here today and just blah, blah, blah'g instead of doing the regular questions. This is partially because, for today at least, life is feelin' pretty good and I don't really have any desolations to share. I think I'm also feeling a little feisty and rebellious for whatever reason--so the questions are going!

The Thanksgiving holiday was a lot of fun and very relaxing which is saying a lot considering there were 4 to 7 kids in attendance at any given time. I think I've mentioned before that the friends we went to see used to be neighbors and when they moved it changed life for me quite a bit. No more easy kid drop offs or offers to pick up a gallon of milk at the store. More than that though, the loss of the nearness of a confidante, sounding board, prayer partner, etc. was quite severe. It was definitely a treat to spend an extended amount of time in their company.

Friday night I was treated to presents and an ice cream cake to die for in honor of my birthday. In the great Present Piggyback of 2006, Michelle bought me cobalt goblets which inspired Paul to buy me new dishes which inspired Julie to buy me placemats which inspired Tamila to buy me flatware. A whole new place setting makeover in one fell swoop!

(Here is a close up of the lovely dragonfly detail on the dishes.)

A few thousand calories fed the fat cells in my body after eating a chocolate cake with chocolate ice cream, chocolate ganache frosting, pirouette cookies and a dark chocolate medallion. Coldstone Creamery is the best!


Saturday we hung out in the house, in the front yard, at the park--pretty much just hung out. The man-children went out and bought a bunch of 2 liter bottles of Diet Coke and some Mentos for a little e fun.





Finally, although it was tempting to stay longer, it was not practical and we headed home.

Andrew Vachss says that there is your biological family and then there is your family of choice. The W family and the Z family, who joined us on Friday, are my family of choice. I am grateful to love them and in turn to be loved by them.



Until tomorrow,

Mary

Also Sleeping with Bread this week:

atypical of nonsensical text: heels are our friends
Lamont of Uphill idealist: Most Connected/Least Connected

27 down, 3 to go

42 Redux

42

The answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything.

42

The title of the first post I wrote for this blog.


42

What you get when you add 21 plus 21.

42

How old I am today.

One year ago, I had started a family blog to keep loved ones up to date on the madcap happenings of Paul, Colin, Marley and Mary. Less than six months later I began this, my third blog. A blogaholic was born.

There is so much I thought I would say on my birthday... but I'm too pooped to post. I went to church early to help with set up so Marley could earn some Brownie points. Real Brownie points to go toward an Inchworm Badge. We put up the tree and decorated it with Aunt Monica's help. I went to Target and bought tree garland and a floor rug. I went to the grocery store and bought the ingredients for a red potato/green bean salad I first heard about at Planet Nomad. (It was yummy, edj!) We put the Wild Child to bed and now, here I sit, collapsed on the couch with a mocha in hand. The creativity is gone. I'm keeping my carcass parked on this sofa for the remainder of the evening and rotting my brain in front of the television.

Until tomorrow,

Mary

26 down, 4 to go

My Own Worst Enemy: A Sunday Scribble One Day Early

Nemesis

An opponent that cannot be beaten or overcome:
Nemesis.
Who is my
Nemesis?
It seems clear to me that I am my own
Nemesis.
Why am I my
Nemesis?
The answer to that is yet to me another
Nemesis.
I could kill two oppositional birds with one stone, if I could answer the question of why I am my
Nemesis.
At least then, of the enemies within me, free I would be of my
Nemeses.


*************************

I laughed when I saw that this week's word for the Sunday Scribblings: Nemesis. Somewhere along the way, my six-year old daughter picked up the term arch-nemesis and has used it quite liberally to describe anyone or thing who impedes any impulse she has.

Although I am confident of the usage of the word, I looked up the definition just to make sure that there was not some nuance I was missing. Of the multiple explanations, the following caught my eye: something that a person cannot conquer, achieve, etc. I immediately thought of who my own worst enemy often is: myself. My continued struggles with my parenting, my identity, my weight. I've thought about these issues and struggled with the answers to why these particular problems plague me. Some part of the answer seems attainable but never in a completely satisfactory way.

Hopefully, in spite of the feeling that I will never conquer my inner critic, this examination of myself as an unbeatable foe is merely an exercise in writing and self-examination--not an irrefutable fact.

Until tomorrow,

Mary

25 down, 5 to go

Friday Fripperies

American Heritage Dictionary
frip·per·y (frp-r) Pronunciation Key n. pl. frip·per·ies
1. Pretentious, showy finery.
2. Pretentious elegance; ostentation.
3. Something trivial or nonessential.

It should go without saying, except that I am saying it, if I'm using the word "fripperies" in my post title, I mean it to fall under the #3 definition of "something trivial or nonessential." I am nothing if not the antithesis of pretension

So, on the Friday after Thanksgiving we are still at our friends' house. It is a beautiful day. After we get the kids to bed I think we'll be doing a little hot tubbin' and so a little trivial nonsense seemed like the best way to dispense of NaBloPoMo Post #24. After all, as wonderful as blogging is, life should come before posting, right? (I may have submit a request to Ms. Kennedy that next year's NaBloPoMo not occur in a month with a major holiday in it--not that I'm ever doing this again!)

Without further ado, the fripperies:

1. There has been an outbreak of bees and crows here in this So-So Cal desert town. Is a bee/crow plague an omen of some sort that we should know about?
2. I think Netflix lies about when they get the DVD's back. We have only been members for a few weeks and every time I return two DVD's at the same time, they report one to three days difference. Is this part of their "throttling" technique which attempts to slow down the number of DVD's you get?
3. My husband, in a fit of Mary-like generosity performed an extreme guitar makeover on our friend's acoustic. It is now all lemon-oiled up with new strings and, here is the extreme part, a brand new pick up!
4. I am getting farther into the book March by Geraldine Brooks. I think it is very well written and an interesting premise: She writes about the father from Little Women during the time in the book when he was away with the Union army during the Civil War. It not only discusses what he experiences during the war but describes how he met Marmee, etc. As I just said, it is well written but there some things which are a little hard to take such as his kissing another woman, the fact that he is not well-liked by his fellow soldiers and something which I can only say was the subject of a famous Seinfeld episode called "The Contest." Very shocking, indeed!
5. And finally, my fifth and final frippery for this Friday, last night we spent the night here with four adults, one teenager and three kids between three and eight. Bedtime was pretty easy. Tonight, another family has joined us. Bedtime with six adults, one teenager and six kids between ages 3 and 9 should make for an interesting time, don't you think? (Oh yeah, don't forget to add two cats locked in the office and one Italian greyhound!)

Until tomorrow,

Mary

24 down, 6 to go