Good Turn Update

$6,014.34

That's how much BooMama's blog campaign raised for Kelli. This is more than enough, I assume, to keep her COBRA insurance in place until her new insurance kicks in and to help pay for some of the miscellaneous expenses that come along. In addition to the funds raised by BooMama, friends and family of Kelli, in response to hearing about what BooMama was doing, sent checks directly to Kelli totaling approximately $2400. That makes a grand total of:

$8,414.34

Not too shabby, I'd say. You can read what BooMama has to say about it here.

Sleeping with Bread: this Pilgrim's Progress

In my so-called real life, Sleeping with Bread includes lighting a candle before beginning. After finishing, the candle is extinguished. In the spirit of that, I thought I would do a little virtual candle lighting today along with my SWB post.


In the last week, when did I feel most alive?

This week, whenever I was working well toward my New Year's resolutions, I felt most alive, light and enthusiastic. I attribute this to a two-fold cause: 1) exercising and eating right makes you feel better (duh!); and 2) doing what you set out to do lifts your spirits. There were times this week when making some good choices directly led to other good choices, i.e., walking with friends and eating less junk gave me more energy, so I got some things done around the house that I normally wouldn't have done. It was a welcome change of pace, let me tell you.

Also, this week, the message in church was about listening to God. It reinforced another resolution I made this year to prioritize my relationship with God. There were good reminders in that sermon I was grateful to hear. Encouragement of that sort always makes me feel more alive.

In the last week, when did I feel most drained of life?

My new routine is still just that: a new routine. It isn't second nature. While I was able to see and feel results from the changes I am making, it wasn't always easy. Resisting certain foods will put me in a funk pretty quickly. Choosing to exercise when there isn't a person to walk with me? Twice this week, the burden for exercising rested solely on my shoulders and I didn't get the job done.

And, as with my physically-minded resolutions, where the good and the bad were opposite sides of the same coin, the same was true of my spiritual resolutions. I let myself focus more on the physical than the spiritual this week. I didn't practice the presence of God. There were nudges by the Spirit here and there and I let life get in the way.

Each week, although it isn't a necessary component of Sleeping with Bread, I always want to wrap it up with a little perspective. I think, in doing the exercise online, I am conscious of ending on a negative note... even though that is entirely NOT the point of examining your desolations. The exercise isn't about being negative but is about acknowledging what is difficult or painful in your life. So, this week, aside from this minor explanation, I will leave it at that.

Thanks for joining me today.






Note: The candle pictures are from iStockphoto.com. I've become somewhat addicted to this site, using pictures for our church newsletter. Trying to be a better steward of copyright laws, I purchased images (quite cheaply) from their site for this post today.

An Invitation to do a Good Turn

"God, without insurance, I will die. I will not get transplant. And we have about 6 weeks to figure this out.

I'm struggling with my ability to trust you in this and I'm crying out that you will give us peace.

I know you are able. but I'm so tired of being tired and afraid and stressed and crying that I just struggle to pray anymore.

Abba Father- I'm crying out for mercy and the ability to live."

Kelli over at Living in Grace wrote these words just over a week ago. Her friend, BooMama, read them and desired to help her friend. Kelli is in need of a kidney transplant. In addition to that, there are issues with the family insurance and a need to go on COBRA insurance. If you have ever dealt with COBRA, you will know that it is quite expensive. BooMama has set up a PayPal account to help Kelli with money to keep her insurance. On January 16th, there will be a link on BooMama's site to that account. One day. That's it. On that day, you can contribute to the fund to help Kelli keep her insurance. If you want to read more about why BooMama is doing this, read her Let the Lovin' Begin post. To read Kelli's post, which is in the form of a prayer, Just Me God. BooMama does not have a specific amount in mind--the PayPal account will take as little as $1.50. The donations will be anonymous.

January 16, 2007

Do a Good Turn

This issue came to my attention through Pam over at MarillaAnne. She became aware of this situation which she has asked me to share on my blog. (I am one of Pam's Alliance bloggers. We have agreed to promote issues when appropriate at each other's places.)

The one where I keep writing about nothing at all.

What ifs:

My book club, that is, the book club I attend, I don't own it, met last night for a discussion of Jodi Picoult's My Sister's Keeper. If you are familiar with the book, you will know that there is plenty to discuss. If you are not familiar with the book, you will be able to imagine how much there is to discuss when I tell you that the book is about a thirteen-year-old girl's quest for medical emancipation so that she will not have to donate a kidney to her sixteen-year-old sister who has a rare and extremely lethal type of leukemia. Afterwards, though, I was driving home thinking about Anna, the thirteen-year-old. Conceived in a test tube to be a genetic match for her sister, she desired to have her own life and yet, without her sister's illness, she may not have ever been born.

What if.

As I thought about the novel's what if, I started thinking about my own what ifs. In particular, I began by thinking about our move from Dallas, Texas some 15 years ago. What if we had never moved back to California? How would I be different? How would our life be different? What struck me most was the thought that I wouldn't have the same children I have now. I didn't imagine that Colin and Marley would be living with us in Dallas. It seemed to me that the circumstances which led to his conception would have been different and thus, when and if I did become pregnant in this never-moved-back-to-SoCal parallel universe, Colin and Marley wouldn't exist.

I write about this not to wax poetic about my children and how I couldn't imagine life without them. I write this to explore what is apparently my belief that every second has an impact on the next, every decision leads down a different path and we can never have an answer to the what if question. Even as this thought scurried across my consciousness, the next thought gave chase. Were Colin and Marley destined to be born regardless of the decisions Paul and I made about where to live, etc. If we had stayed in Dallas, would Paul and I be the parents of these two particular children.

I don't know. The answer doesn't really matter. I was just wondering. What do you think?

To die for:

I was reading Fussy's post about the most incredible cake which she received in the mail as a birthday present. (Really, it is soooooo wonderful.) In the previous post, she linked up a website to a bakery that creates some incredible cakes. I found this one and just died a little (happily, mind you.) Check it out. All you bibliophiles and literature majors are going to swoon with me. I know it. Did you check it out? You did swoon, didn't you? I knew it!

Does this strike you as funny?

At The Happiest Place on Earth the other day, I was a little hungry. Poking around the Matterhorn, I found this:

Turkey legs and chimichangas? But of course, what else would you sell at a food kiosk at Disneyland? I did eat one of the chimichangas. Not bad. Pretty yummy, in fact. Of course, anything in a deep fried tortilla is yummy to me, but I will never order the turkey leg. I noticed several people walking around with one and let me tell you, walking around in your Mickey Mouse hat, bermuda shorts with white socks and sandals AND a turkey leg? Well, let's just say it looks a little goofy. Get it? G-o-o-f-y! (I crack myself up!!!!)

Spell check:

How do you write "what if" as a plural? I wrote "what ifs" but I'm wondering if I should have written "what if's." Neither of them look correct. Anybody? Anybody?

_________________________

Finally, it is apparently National De-Lurking Week which makes me wonder who decided it would be National De-Lurking Week and who made them the bosses of de-lurking. It also makes me want to make a National Something Week. I tried finding the source--well, I checked the blogs I read on a regular basis who mentioned ND-LW, hardly an exhaustive research attempt--but not a link to the actual source was to be found. So who knows, maybe it is an urban legend. Whether is it real or not, if you are a lurker, please feel free to participate here. If you don't feel like coming up with a clever name or anything, just write an anonymous comment and sign it "de-lurker number (fill in the blank.)" If you are a lurker and don't feel like de-lurking. Hey, I'm cool with that.


Thus endeth the post.

Sleeping with Bread: Resolutions in Progress

Well, it ended up being a two week break from Sleeping with Bread. I forgot that New Year's day would land on Monday also and I just continued with my SWB holiday. Of course, I did spend 2 1/2 hours that evening in the ER so my son could get stitches. (No major story there, just a boys will be boys bad judgment--not my son's but his friends.) Anyway, here I am 8 days in to the 2007 contemplating what recently has been life-giving and life-draining.

So far, in 2007, what has given me consolation?

I think as I look back, I have been allowed to rest in the New Year. After a crazy-busy Christmas season I was ready. Of course, I am still taking a break as the Christmas tree and other miscellaneous decorations are still up! In fact, Marley asked me today if we could leave it up for the rest of the year. No, it won't stay up that long. I'm sure I'll manage to take it down before my wedding anniversary (late January.) School started back today and it is time for responsibility and routine. It may take me a little while to ramp it up, but I'll get there.

I've also felt good so far this year about some choices I've been making. I've been making good on some New Year's resolutions and working on issues (spiritual disciplines, food, excercise, finances, etc.) in which I need to either be more moderate or more disciplined. The year is young, so very young, but I do feel like I have a chance to finish it well.

So far, in 2007, what has caused me desolation?

Probably a better word this week than desolation is grief. Along with the most excellent choices I've been making are little deaths. The one I've felt most strongly this week is in regard to food. As much as I know it is a good decision to make, I do not want to restrict my choice of foods. I get cranky or sad and have to work through it. I hope it will get easier. It will get easier, right?

Creativity

My mind's arms
flail about in search of a tool to
pry open Creativity's Caponian vault.

Laid open the vault contains only
inexact sentence fragments too coarse to hold
aloft, to be deemed worthy of admiration.

No, my Creativity lies wasted like
diseased, arthritic bones with their
marrow sucked dry.

But Creativity never really dies, instead
arthritic, marrow-dry coarseness waits
to be healed, watered, refined,
reborn.

This week's psuedo-angst filled poem inspired by the words:

Flail
Pry
Inexact
Aloft
Disease

Words courtesy of. . .

Word Beads is a weekly writing meme. The challenge is to string the week's five chosen "words below with other words of your choosing to fashion a sentence, several sentences, a paragraph, several paragraphs, a poem, or even a short story." The word sets are generated automatically by a Perl script which draws words at random from a list of approximately 9,000 English words.

A glimpse into a family project: The Family Portrait

I convinced (arm-twisted and bribed) my children into cooperating for a do-it-yourself Christmas portrait this year. I thought you might enjoy a little slide show of the effort:

(Hovering over each picture will reveal a caption.)